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Favorite "Small" Simpsons Moments

Homer has just scoffed the worlds hottest chili..
Skinner:"My God,there should be smoke coming out of his ears!"
Krusty:"His ears if we're lucky!"

Actually, that's Dr. Hibbert, not Skinner.

It's my first day.
(to the Spanish) "Es mi dia primero." (to the penguins) "Quack quack quack."

I hope I get the characters right-

Home - D'oh!
Marge - A deer!
Lisa - A female deer!

Almost. It's Homer, Lisa, Marge; not Homer, Marge, Lisa.

Martin at the arcade, playing a game about two guys having dinner. "Tell me more."
It's not just any two guys. It's My Dinner with Andre. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082783/

"And making movies is so repetitive. I've said 'Jiminy Jillickers' so many times, the words have lost all meaning."

"I'm in television. It's my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Being repetitive is my job."

"Then how come you have a tatoo that says Die, Bart, Die?"
"Oh no no. That's German for The Bart, The."
"Anyone who speaks German couldn't possibly be an evil man."

"One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere. Like the one time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville..."

I won't do it here, but I can quote that entire story by heart IRL.

"If it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to steal $1 trillion from the U.S. government and give it to communist Cuba, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to bribe a jury, so help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!"

Rocker: "Cheer up, Homer. It's only rock & roll."
Homer: (sad) "But I like it."

There's one scene where Lisa becomes dejected because she thinks that some recent setback will mean that she'll never get into an Ivy League college. Bart & Homer then start taunting her by chanting, "You're going to Stanford! You're going to Stanford!"

Then there was the promo at the end of the "Behind the Laughter" episode, with a clip from next week's episode on Huckleberry Hound. "I was so gay. But I couldn't tell anyone."

Lisa asks Chief Wiggum how he got tickets to the Krusty anniversary special. It flashes back to the two of them meeting in a porno theater.
Krusty: "Chief Wiggum! Is this a bust?"
Wiggum: "Uh... yeah... That's what it is. A bust."
(Back to the present.)
Lisa: "That story isn't appropriate for children."
Wiggum: "Really? I keep my pants on in this version."

"...But when we got to the steel factory, they were all gay."
"Where have you been, Homer. The entire steel industry is gay. Aerospace too, and the waterworks."

"How do I get out of the army?"
"Just make a pass at your commanding officer."
"Done & done! And I mean done!"

Homer: "Oh, hi son. I didn't know you, Jay Leno, & a monkey were bathing a clown."
 
I love Grampa's insightful comments:

"And that's why bananas are called yellow fatty beans! Questions?"

Or....

"That gonna hurt come winter!"
 
"I can't hear you, son! I'm in a jacuzzi suit!"

"Wow! 'For free: Surplus jars of mayonaise from Operation Desert Storm'!"

In the episode where Milhouse's parents get divorced, Milhouse's father also gets fired from his job at the craker factory.
"Crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without."
 
In the episode where Milhouse's parents get divorced, Milhouse's father also gets fired from his job at the craker factory.
"Crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without."

The best part -

Kirk: So that's it. After 20 years, "so long, good luck."?
Cracker Executive: I don't recall saying, "good luck".

:lol:
 
More relating to the travails of Kirk Van Houten, from Milhouse:

"Trust me, Bart, it's better to walk in on both your parents then just one of them."
 
"But Marge! 'Knight-Boat'!"

Though one of my absolute faves... I use it as a toast at dinner parties - "Gentlemen: To evil!"
 
Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
Lisa: That's the home-owner's tax.
 
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"But Marge! 'Knight-Boat'!"

"There's always a canal."
"Or an inlet."
"Or a fjord.":rolleyes:

There was a recent opening couch gag where the Simpsons kept running into a series of different sitcom sets throughout TV history, starting with The Honeymooners, going into The Brady Bunch. Then they all arrive in the Cheers bar and all is well until Sideshow Bob walks in dressed like Frasier!:guffaw: They scream and run out.
 
Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a
charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Why thank you honey.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: And how does this work this rock of yours...?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
Homer: ...............Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
 
There's that Halloween special where the Y2K bug causes the end of civilization. The surviving people escape in spaceships going to Mars. However, Homer & Bart realize that they're on the ship full of rejects being sent into the Sun. The rejects include Rosie O'Donnell, Ross Perot, & Tom Arnold. This isn't really a small moment. It's a major plot point. However, the little touch that makes it so brilliant is that Tom Arnold is doing his own voice.
"Sure, my shows weren't great but I never tied people up and made 'em watch. And I could because I'm a big guy and I'm good with knots."

"Well, you'd be a welcome change from these uncouth sailors. What do you think, Smithers?"
"I think women & seamen don't mix."
"We know what you think."
 
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
 
"Well, you'd be a welcome change from these uncouth sailors. What do you think, Smithers?"
"I think women & seamen don't mix."
"We know what you think."

I don't remember this. What episode (and season) is it from?

One of my favorites:

Ned: You ugly hate-filled man.

Moe: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I...wait, what was that third thing you said?
 
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