Dr. Nick to Mr. Burns: While you were unconscious, did you feel your brain being damaged? There is also my sig.
Homer: See, I drew little bunny faces over the outlets so Maggie wont touch them. Marge: But Maggie's not afraid of bunnies. Homer: She will be. Comic Book Guy is always good for the one liners. Bart: Stan Lee came back? CBG: Stan Lee never left. I'm beginning to think his mind is no longer in mint condition. CBG to Stan Lee about Stan Lee's claim to be able to turn into the Hulk. CBG: Please, you couldn't even turn into Bill Bixby. and CBG: Now if you only had the power to leave my store. CBG: Aquaman, you can't marry a girl without gills. You're from two different worlds. (Sees the French Nuke) O, I've wasted my life.
From the same episode, Stan Lee shoved a Hulk figure in Database's Batmobile. Database: "Aaahhh! You broke my batmobile!" Stan Lee: "Broke it? Or made it better?" In the episode when the kids get frozen in at the school, Homer and Flanders are driving there to rescue them when they hit something under the snow. Homer: "Oof! I hope that was Flanders!" Flanders: "Homer, I'm right here!" Homer: "Oh, right... um, you're all right, hehe..."
Helen Lovejoy: He said they were having S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N! Krusty: SEX CAULDRON?! I thought they closed that place down!
What I especially love about this scene is Marge's expression. She starts smiling when Grandpa starts talking about shooting down German planes, and her face just drops when he says 'last year' Also, I love Alfred Hitchcock walking past the Ayn Rand school for tots with his dogs, after Homer has negotiated his way past the army of pacifier-sucking babies, 'The Birds' style.
Die evil snakes! DIE! 'Ah getting ready for Whacking Day, I see, Barney?' 'What's Whacking Day?' 'KILL THE BOY!' (Grandpa runs in with hammer and stake in hand) 'Yeah kill the vampire' 'He's a vampire?' (runs away screaming) 'WANT A BROWNIE, SON?' (Homer runs into Bart's room with a knife) 'Dad, I really would appreciate it if you didn't come in my room screaming and brandishing a butcher's knife. I am a bit on edge' 'Sorry son' 'SON, DO YOU WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK?'
"No beer and no TV make Homer something something." "Go crazy?" "DON'T MIND IF I DO! EQRUJGFILQERJGJT$Q OI$GUER GR"
When Homer starts a nuclear meltdown in a simulator that had no nuclear material in it. Mr. Burns and Smithers run to an escape pod with 2 seats. Burns closes it locking Smithers out. Smithers: Fot God's sake Mr. Burns there are 2 seats in there. Burns (Opening up the door): I like to put my feet up. (Closes door.) Ralph: Your breath smells like dead bunnies. Ralph: The Pointy kitty took my key. Ralph: They taste like...burning. Ralph: Hi Lisa. Hi Principal Skinner. Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers. Ralph: Go Banana! Ralph: I bent my Wookie. Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Homer: "Oh Lisa, you and your nonsense. Bart's a vampire. Beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to... that building thingy where our beds and TV... is."
Evil Shopkeeper: "Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!" Homer: "Ooh, that's bad." Shopkeeper: "But it comes with a free Frogurt!" Homer: "That's good!" Shopkeeper: "The Frogurt is also cursed." Homer: "That's bad." Shopkeeper: "But you get your choice of topping!" Homer: "That's good!" Shopkeeper: "The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate." Shopkeeper: "That's bad." Homer: "Can I go now?"
Bart: "Hey Homer, I thought you were only going to do this day care thing 'till your knee was better." Homer: "Yes, but then I discovered the joys of raising children." (Bart and Lisa exchange bemused glances) Lisa: "But what about us?" Homer: "Don't worry honey; you'll have children of your own some day. Then you'll know my joy."
And Grandpa would know: Abe: Oh, sure. Let's see...[pulls out wallet, starts going through it] I'm an elk, a Mason, a communist. I'm the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason...ah, here it is. The Stonecutters. Homer: This is it! My ticket in: they have to let me in if I'm the son of a member. I'll take this communist one too. [walks out] Pretty much the whole episode is quotable: Ward: Hello. Now, everything is all set for Bart's apology. Mr. Conover will meet you at the parliament house at three p.m. Questions? Bart: Yeah, do the toilets go backwards in here? Ward: No. To combat homesickness, we've installed a device that makes them swirl the correct American way. [he flushes the toilet] [it swirls one way, then a machine kicks in and makes it swirl the other way] Homer: [singing] Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing...[weeps] Man: You call that a knife? This is a knife. Bart: That's not a knife, that's a spoon. Man: All right, all right, you win, heh. I see you've played Knifey-Spooney before. Homer: [to bartender] Hey! Give me one of those famous giant beers I've heard so much about. [bartender puts a huge beer in front of him] Bartender: Something wrong, yank? Homer: No. It's pretty big...I guess. Marge: I'll just have a cup of coffee. Bartender: Beer, it is. Marge: No, I said "coffee". Bartender: "Beer"? Marge: [slowly] Coff-ee. Bartender: Be-er? Marge: C -- O -- Bartender: B -- E -- That was the quote that came to mind when I read the OP's post. I love later in the episode, after Homer's demonstration in class leads to disaster, how the two guys go in to clean it up and, as Homer passes, he tells them where it is and they reply, "Thanks, Homer."
Editor: Homer what gives with this review? You say the salad tastes like bark and the potatoes were very grrrrrrr. This reads like it was written by a dog. Homer: Are you crazy? A dog can't type!…Unfortunately. Chalmers: The AURORA BOREALIS!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?! Skinner: Yes. Chalmers: May I see it?
"Bart Simpson vs. Australia" just might be my all time favorite episode. Every second is pure gold. No wait my favorite is "Homer Simpson vs. the City of New York"!
"Now I'm in Australia! Now I'm in America! Now I'm in Australia! Now I'm in Amer—" *Homer gets punched in the face by the guard* "We don't tolerate that kind of crap here in America, sir!" Something that always amuses me about that episode is that everyone seems to think it's a classic, with the exception of ever single Australian I've ever heard to talk about who all, to a person, think it's the worst thing the Simpsons ever did. Of course, if there's one thing the Simpsons can do, it's piss off an entire country. "Hey, don't be sad! It's Carnaval!"
The thing that's so hilarious about is the incredibly inaccurate stereotypical portrayal of Australia, though!