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Facts About Captain Robau

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Robau Facts: 80s Edition

Robau is More Than Meets The Eye. And that "More" is his fist.

The Ghostbusters call Robau.

Robau knows where's the beef.

Robau *always* forms the head.

Robau goes where everybody knows his name. And that place is the Omniverse.

Everytime Beetlejuice needs to scare someone, he says Robau's name three times.

Conversely, if Candyman ever wants to die, he'll look into the mirror and say Robau's name three times. (yeah yeah, that was the 90s, but I'm on a roll)

The Power of Greyskull draws upon the Piss of Robau.

Robau is what Willis is talkin' bout.

Whatchu gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you? Why, get Robau, of course.
 
Robau bathes in volcanoes. And uses mountains as scrubbing brushes





Has he gone yet?
He is never gone. He sees you always. When you sleep, when you eat, when you post on the Trek.

There is no escape.

(I' beeing nice to him you see? I think Robau is Father Christmas and I don't to get arse-kicked on Christmas Eve.)
 
*boom*

[Are we there yet? - M']

"YOU DO NOT APPROVE OF MY PRESENCE, 'CAPT PICKIRK'?!?"


!!!AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!


No! No! No! I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!

capt_pickirk_robau.jpg


Robau's only nemesis is Tommy Wiseau. His extreme awfulness nearly cancels out Robau's awesomeness
 
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Robau hopes that you die, and that your death will come soon. He's scheduled next Tuesday to follow your casket in the pale afternoon.

Anyone sensing a trend here?

Heh.
 
Captain Robau's phaser has no kill setting. If he chooses to shoot you with it (and he never misses, unless he wants to) you disinitgrate out of gratitude.
 
That cosmic background noise that hints of a complex ordered structure pre-dating the Big Bang? Its Robau.
If it hadn't been Robau, he'd have told the noise to sort its sh!t out lest it make him come down and open up a can of whup-ass.

When you open up a can of whup-ass, Captain Robau jumps out.
 
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