Robau's house doesn't have window blinds. He just says "Polarize the viewscreen".
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Robau refers to this hand as a "smeg".
Captain Robau can gut a fish (and a man) using only harsh language.
Robau likes his gyros filled with lots of meat. Uncooked meat. Meat made from the flesh of his vanquished enemies.
Tin Man/Gomtuu was Robau's pet at one point.
Captain Robau was once forced to take a dump outside in the woods.
Those woods were called Chernobyl.
Those woods were called Chernobyl.
Robau pees standing up. In orbit.
Robau doesn't take one for the team, the team takes one for him.
Robau once beat Chuck Norris until he cried like a little girl.
A little girl once beat Chuck Norris until he cried "Robau!".
Nah. Gomtuu was one of Robau's kidney stones. It achieved life through a method which is now the motto of the Robau Military Academy: "Sentience Through Badassery."
Robau theologians have long pondered The Robau Paradox, which goes like this:
Captain Robau is the most badass being in the universe and cannot be defeated in combat. However, Captain Robau is so insanely badass that he can actually defeat Captain Robau in combat. So, if Robau were to face off against Robau, what would happen? Pondering this question for extended periods of time has been known to cause comas.
Captain Robau is the most badass being in the universe and cannot be defeated in combat. However, Captain Robau is so insanely badass that he can actually defeat Captain Robau in combat. So, if Robau were to face off against Robau, what would happen? Pondering this question for extended periods of time has been known to cause comas.
Captain Robau was once outbid in an eBay auction with 11 seconds left. Captain Robau found out where that winning bidder lived, went 'round their house and beat them to death. He waited patiently in the decaying guy's house for 4 days until his package arrived, at which point he went home.
Moral of the story: When eBay says "Current highest bidder: R***u", DO NOT BID.
Moral of the story: When eBay says "Current highest bidder: R***u", DO NOT BID.
Robau is available for children's birthday parties.
And for those who didn't laugh at his birthday jokes, Robau is available for childrens' funerals.
Is Robau's immune system so weak, then, that he can get kidney stones???
BLASPHEMER!!!(Forgive him, Your Awesomeness. He...has his doubts....)
What does Robau need with a starship?
Is Robau's immune system so weak, then, that he can get kidney stones???
(Forgive him, Your Awesomeness. He...has his doubts....)
No, no, you misunderstand. Robau wills himself to get kidney stones. He uses them as weapons, you understand. And they don't cause him pain, they give him a Robaugasm.
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