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Facts About Captain Robau

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Robau taught mankind how to find lasting world peace. And we went and fucked it ALL up.

This is because lazy parents neglected to instill the Fear-of-Robau into their children. This led to cultural decadence as people became unafraid of the threat of having Robau kick your ass for eternity if you were sinful.
 
Robau would have stopped George Kirk from ramming the Kelvin into Nero's ship. But Robau had postmortem indemnity insurance on the thing.
 
If Robau had been in the area, he would've simply jumped in the air, grabbed hold of that UFO-shaped helium balloon, and brought it back down to the ground before anyone in Colorado had even noticed it. He also would've scared that kid into never trying a stunt like that again.
 
Robau is why D.B. Cooper and Amelia Earhart vanished. Screw the aliens/VOYAGER theories.
 
Robau was present during the Big Bang. And filmed it all for the hottest download ever.
 
When Robau opened a Chinese restaurant, he didn't need to prepare sweet and sour pork because it all came from his sweet and sour pigs.
 
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