Dumped
- Thread starter apostle83
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Last night, my gf of 15 months who I was in the process of purchasing an engagement ring dumped me because of something we have had dozens of conversations about: Perseverence of the Saints/Eternal security or whatever the hell you want to call the belief that once converted, you can do nothing to cause separation between you and God. I believe Apostasy is possible; she does not.
When I say that we have had literally dozens of conversations about this, I am not kidding.
My heart is broken. From the amount of bawling she has done, her heart is broken. She honestly believes this is irreconcilable.
I've been trying to work from home today, trying not to bring this up anywhere, but I can't.
I haven't slept since 8:30cst last night. I've been bawling like a baby most of that time. I love this girl. She loves me. She says we could get back together if the Lord changed her beliefs.
I'm blown away, as we are both fundamentalist Christians.
Excuse me, I think I'm going to go bawl like a blubbering baby some more.
man, you fundie christians are a rough bunch.
You and 10,817 other users. But you're really good at it.
I knew I had to be good at something.
You may be better off, man. She sounds like a very square minded person, demanding spiritual perfection, all or nothing, etc. Hence the dumping. My ex was the all-or-nothing type.
So, every time one strays from grace, it means they never knew God to begin with? Dude, I don't think any man on Earth could please a woman like that. She might as well join a convent.
Being a Christian fundie is all well and good, but what ever happened to the virtue of Humility? Acknowledging one's humanity as an imperfect thing? It's big hubris to go around claiming to know.
So, every time one strays from grace, it means they never knew God to begin with? Dude, I don't think any man on Earth could please a woman like that. She might as well join a convent.
Being a Christian fundie is all well and good, but what ever happened to the virtue of Humility? Acknowledging one's humanity as an imperfect thing? It's big hubris to go around claiming to know.
You can imagine my surprise when I saw that Apostle was the one who was of the belief that once one is saved, that person is always saved which in my opinion, is an enlightened belief.
More so than my perception of Apostle, this girl strikes me as one of the extreme hardcore fundamentalists.
For what it's worth, apostle, you have my sincere sympathies.
Dibs on Bro!
cool, my very own personal tormentor
apostle, sorry to hear about it. I won't pretend I understand the theological difference, but better to find out now that in her mind it was an irreconcilable difference. Or it was a convenient excuse.
Either way, you'll bounce back
TheLonelySquire
Vice Admiral
Apostle,
I feel for you, brother. Know that God provides in His time and not ours. If being with her is His will, know that it will happen. If not, He has something or someone planned just for you.
PM me if you want to talk.
Jim
I feel for you, brother. Know that God provides in His time and not ours. If being with her is His will, know that it will happen. If not, He has something or someone planned just for you.
PM me if you want to talk.
Jim
Last night, my gf of 15 months who I was in the process of purchasing an engagement ring dumped me because of something we have had dozens of conversations about: Perseverence of the Saints/Eternal security or whatever the hell you want to call the belief that once converted, you can do nothing to cause separation between you and God. I believe Apostasy is possible; she does not.
When I say that we have had literally dozens of conversations about this, I am not kidding.
My heart is broken. From the amount of bawling she has done, her heart is broken. She honestly believes this is irreconcilable.
I've been trying to work from home today, trying not to bring this up anywhere, but I can't.
I haven't slept since 8:30cst last night. I've been bawling like a baby most of that time. I love this girl. She loves me. She says we could get back together if the Lord changed her beliefs.
I'm blown away, as we are both fundamentalist Christians.
Excuse me, I think I'm going to go bawl like a blubbering baby some more.
I'm sorry, but don't you think God would consider you both a couple of idiots if this is what caused you two to break up?
Sorry, man.
Hopefuly someday you'll find someone who shares your faith.
Hopefuly someday you'll find someone who shares your faith.
I'm sorry to hear it, Poodle. I'll be praying for you and your ex.
apostle83, while I can't pretend to comprehend why this is such a major sticking point that it would cause a breakup, you have my sympathies. As others have said, though, if it's that important, then I wish you luck finding someone who shares your point of view.
Just remember, though, it's not always necessary to be in 100% agreement on all topics with one's partner. If you were, what would you have to discuss? Every conversation would be "You're right, dear. Yes. Absolutely." And worse - without any irony whatsoever.
Just remember, though, it's not always necessary to be in 100% agreement on all topics with one's partner. If you were, what would you have to discuss? Every conversation would be "You're right, dear. Yes. Absolutely." And worse - without any irony whatsoever.
A
Amaris
Guest
Apostle, keep your feet on the ground and your eyes to the heavens. All things work in due time, and with due diligence.
Peace to you, Brother.
J.
Peace to you, Brother.
J.
Well that's a shame.
If she is looking for someone who has the identical beliefs down to every detail, she will end up an old maid.
I married a Jewish-raised atheist. He is now a Christian. No, I didn't force him. In time, it came naturally. I don't believe in denominations, Christian is good enough for me. The denominations and customs and rules? Man's doing, not God.
Hang in there. Perhaps she wasn't the right one. And if she is, she will come back. If not, wait and have faith, what is meant to be will be. Even if it takes a while.
If she is looking for someone who has the identical beliefs down to every detail, she will end up an old maid.
I married a Jewish-raised atheist. He is now a Christian. No, I didn't force him. In time, it came naturally. I don't believe in denominations, Christian is good enough for me. The denominations and customs and rules? Man's doing, not God.
Hang in there. Perhaps she wasn't the right one. And if she is, she will come back. If not, wait and have faith, what is meant to be will be. Even if it takes a while.
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
Sorry to read about this. Sucks when issues out of your control conspire against you. Take what you can from the experience and just view it as a stepping stone to whoever comes next and comfort yourself with the knowledge that whatever went wrong between you two, whatever reasons, and whatever issues were at play, you now know how to deal with them and won't make the same mistakes twice.
Guys, I think some of you are missing that SHE broke up with HIM. He had nothing to do with it otherwise than voicing an opposite opinion.
My condolences but, in the end, it may be for the better if she has this attitude.
My condolences but, in the end, it may be for the better if she has this attitude.
To everyone who has expressed sympathies, thank you.
I've done much thinking and prayer. I have also spoken with my ex several more times. We rescued a dog together in April (I believe). Since she is returning to school to finish her masters in cello performance this fall in MA, the plan was always for me to have the dog then. This is... still the plan.
We are meeting this weekend to swap the dog. I think that this will be one of the hardest meetings that I will ever have.
You have to understand that I completely adore my ex.
One of my fears is that with all the change of moving and going back to school that she got scared and it made our differences glare. While she has deeply hurt me, right now I cannot imagine my life without her. She implied that she isn't sure the relationship is over forever. I hope not, because I still love her.
I took today off of work, but am going in Wednesday. In between tears tonight, I planned several things to do tomorrow and for the indefinate future while not at work. I want my time to be so busy, and my life at home to be so tired, that I don't have time to think about her. I'm hitting the gym at six am, and tomorrow night am buying what I need to eat healthy. With the extra time I have, there is no reason for me to not eat healthy, work out, and regulate my sleeping patterns.
I'm so ripped apart right now. I feel like my insides are exploding and slamming into a clear wall that is there for no discernable reason.
I've done much thinking and prayer. I have also spoken with my ex several more times. We rescued a dog together in April (I believe). Since she is returning to school to finish her masters in cello performance this fall in MA, the plan was always for me to have the dog then. This is... still the plan.
We are meeting this weekend to swap the dog. I think that this will be one of the hardest meetings that I will ever have.
You have to understand that I completely adore my ex.
One of my fears is that with all the change of moving and going back to school that she got scared and it made our differences glare. While she has deeply hurt me, right now I cannot imagine my life without her. She implied that she isn't sure the relationship is over forever. I hope not, because I still love her.
I took today off of work, but am going in Wednesday. In between tears tonight, I planned several things to do tomorrow and for the indefinate future while not at work. I want my time to be so busy, and my life at home to be so tired, that I don't have time to think about her. I'm hitting the gym at six am, and tomorrow night am buying what I need to eat healthy. With the extra time I have, there is no reason for me to not eat healthy, work out, and regulate my sleeping patterns.
I'm so ripped apart right now. I feel like my insides are exploding and slamming into a clear wall that is there for no discernable reason.
You are being brought to something. Spirit testing you with fire and impossible cold. Also is a crossroads, must be cautious. New patterns will develop, you can author them. Better to listen for them. Let yourself experience, look into things, ponder upon the deadness within you. That period will go on for a while, then Great Spirit Magnet will show you something new.
Consider whether that dog is going to be a negative reminder to you ~ not fair to either you or the animal. Cut yourself the slack man and don't go to fucking meet her. Unless you really want the dog ~ Peace
I'm out ~
listen to "Isis" by Bob Dylan
She was a short, blonde chick, right? Maybe 1/4 of an inch tall?The last time a chick and me had to break up due to religious differences it's because she thought she was God and I didn't.
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