DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned.

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Apologies for the delay in starting a new thread! Lets get to business!

First up to the plate, we have the "Lethal Weapons" Award, going to:

Dax: If you two don't want to find out how sharp this thing is I suggest you take your hands off my ass.

Next, we have the "The Enterprise had the same problem" Award, going to:

Dax: "Will you two hurry it up."
Kira: "We're finally talking here."
Dax: "One toilet on the station! There's a queue reaching around the promenade. Can't you talk somewhere else?"

Next, we have the "A Space Station named Desire" Award, going to:

Dax: "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."
Quark: "Well...you're barking up the wrong tree here, lady."

Next, we have the "What would the Vulcan glass be?"

Dax: "I've got the Federation glass! The text on back says, 'to boldly drink what no man has drunk before...'"
Worf: (grumbles) "I wanted the Federation glass. All I got was the Pakled glass. Its text says 'Give us things. Things that make us need to go...'"

Next, we have the "Hope that happens soon!" Award, going to:

Sisko: "What do you think, Constable?"

Odo: "Too many in-jokes. It's gonna bite us in the butt when we go to HD."

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

DAX: And this fabulous set of glasses can be yours for only three easy payments of 5 bars of latinum! Aren't they great, Worf?

WORF (growling): You've got to stop losing bets to Quark.

Our Salute to the Centauri Republic:

ODO: Ladies, I can be as much, as little or as many men as you need.

Jadzia: So you mean...you can be BIFURCATED?
Odo: Uh, not so loud, please. This is not the TOS forum!

Londo: Bifurcated, pah! If you think that's impressive, dear ladies .... I HAVE SIX!

"...and tonight's Galactic Lotto numbers are..."

Thanks to all who participated and congratulations to all of our winners! I'm considering creating some new special awards, adding some variety to the last award every contest, besides just the Shiny New Runabout Award. If you have an idea for one, please PM me!

And now, continuing on with out Character Caption Contests, Doctor Julian Bashir, take the stage!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Bashir: Wait! It's a rental!

Bashir: Wow, the station is getting closer!

Sisko: (over comm) DS9 to Rio Grande, Pull up now!

Bashir: You know who I can't stand? Worf. He's behind me isn't he?

Worf: *facepalm*

O'Brien: Listen, I think Jadzia's not right for you. Wait a few years see how Dax changes...

Bashir: GGGGOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLL!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

BASHIR ( thinking ) Thank god, my mind wasn't the only thing enhanced.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

WORF: Is there a reason you're here? Because Dr Crusher never hung out on the bridge of the Enterprise

BASHIR: I'm more of a TOS fan.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Thanks for the win!

Bashir: "This is pointless. If you kill me, 008 will just take my place."
Dr. Noah: "So...you're cool with that?"
Bashir (falls to knees and begins sobbing hysterically): "No! Oh God, please don't shoot me!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

BASHIR: Aren't you going to explain your plan?

DR. NOAH: Nah, I'm gonna shoot you.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Sisko: "And now for my next sharpshooting trick, I will shoot the bowtie off of our volunteer's neck."
Bashir: "Wait, wasn't it supposed to be an apple off of my head!?"
Sisko: "Odo said that would be too dangerous, so I need to improvise."

Once the crew had discovered Spock's face in the comet from the opening credits, they couldn't resist flying a Runabout up his nose.

Bashir: "You're going to have to tell the Captain that you crashed his ship into an asteroid."
Worf: "No. I only need to convince him that a deer jumped out in front of us..."

 

[Finn]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

WORF: Is there a reason you're here? Because Dr Crusher never hung out on the bridge of the Enterprise

BASHIR: I'm more of a TOS fan.

Worf: Good. No Saturday brunches then

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Thanks for the win!

Brooks: THIS is for getting more screen time than me!

Bashir Changeling: (thinking) That's right keep smiling, you ignorant solids ... you have no idea who I really am ... soon you will all die ... (out loud) MUWAHAHAHA!
Dax: What was that, Julian?
Bashir Changeling: Erm, uh ... nothing. Sorry, got something stuck in my throat.

Worf: Are you that Bashir changeling? Is that why you keep glowering behind my back?
Bashir: No, it's really me. I just don't like you ... you pig-headed, Jadzia-stealing, TNG reject you!
Worf: Oh, well all right then - hey, wait a minute!

O'Brien: Julian, what's wrong?
Bashir: *sigh* Oh, I was just thinking how I'd kill to have Garak as close to me as you are right now.
*long pause*
O'Brien: You meant Dax, right?
Bashir: Oh ... oh! Yeah, yeah, of course I meant Dax, I said Dax, didn't I? I totally meant Dax.....

Bashir: Oh Garak! NO WAIT! I mean, Oh Jadzia! Yeah, that's what I meant! *mumbles* Damn it, I've got to stop doing this....

 

[SilentP]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

When Dax finally gave into Bashir's advance, he wasn't prepared for her Klingon-style lovemaking.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Sisko: "Burnt!! All burnt!!"

(whirls around, pointing phaser wildly)

Bashir: "Captain, it's me, Bashir. I can help you. We'll get you new peppers, there's no need to make a scene. Now, let's put the phaser down, captain...

"Coming up under Worf's vessel!"

Shortly before the next official request for a replacement runabout: Yet another game of Bumper-ships.

"Still digesting the movie, Worf?"

"Then Bruce Willis...was already dead...".

"There's no such thing as Section 31! It was all an elaborate prank for the Chula Comedy Special! Smile, you're on national Wadi television!"

 

[Rush Limborg]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Dr. Noah: No, Dr. Bashir...I expect you to DIE!

(Gun clicks)

Bashir: Going blank?

Dr. Noah: DANGIT!

Bashir:Well, you know what they say about counting chickens. I expect you to fry.

The crew took the unintentional broadcast of Worf's break-dancing sessions quite well.

Who knew?

Worf: I...am going to kill him with my bare hands. I'm going to take him by the throat--and RIP out his esophagus!

Bashir: Oh, spare it, Worf. It's a wargame. You win some, you lose some.

Worf: War...is NOT a game!

Bashir: (sigh) You really need to find yourself a girl, mate.

O'Brien: Come on, Julian. We didn't drink THAT much!

Bashir: Oh...thanks a LOT, Chief. Your face just replaced that of a beautiful woman.

O'Brien: Surprise, surprise. So...who was she?

Bashir: I...I don't know. Never seen her before. But she was so...

O'Brien: Then it was Lady Luck, and she's on your side. Now get up!

Dr. Julian Bashir's renditions of Klingon Opera were NOT well received.

 

[Finn]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Miles: (OS) *banging* Let me in!

Bashir: Jadzia, increase to warp one

 

[Bob Karo]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Bashir and the girls decided to shrink another runabout and fly up Keiko's skirt. Not pictured: O'Brien's reaction.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

O'BRIEN: And if I catch you running that "Fair Haven" holo program again, I'll thump you twice as hard!

 

[Skywalker]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Bashir: "AAAAAAAHHHH! NOOOOOOO! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
O'Brien (O.S.): "Julian! Wake up!"
Bashir: "Chief?"
O'Brien (O.S.): "WAKE UP!"

Bashir: *starts awake* "Gah!"
O'Brien: "Are you alright?"
Bashir: "I had a horrible nightmare. I was dreaming that I was starring in Voyager instead of Deep Space Nine..."

 

[Paradon]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Sisko: "Tell me who you are?"
Sisko: "Just kidding!" [chuckle]

Bashir: "I think the O'Briens is going to like three ton pu of a Klingon mamoth beamed onto his bathroom!"
Dax: "Oh, you'll get no argument from me!"

Worf: "Perhaps, today is not a good day to die! But A good day for extra, extra, large, king size prune juice."

Miles: "You got worms Julian!"
Bashir: "That's the last one that crawl out of my butt. I'm never eatin' gag again!"

"No! I never ment to stare at you, Nerys!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

DR NOAH: We've been here over an hour. Where are our damn drinks and breadsticks!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Garak, to waitress: I'll have what he's having.

Bashir: Worf, I really don't think it's wise to play chicken with an asteroid.

Some people, megalomanic masterminds among them, take the distinction between black-tie and white-tie affairs VERY seriously.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest #45: Julian Bashir, Secret Agent, Has Returned

Odo (on comm link): "Back from your shore leave on Risa? Humph! From the expressions on your faces, I'll bet every one of you is walking with a limp right now!"
Bashir: "Hoo-HOOOOOO!"