I didn't really love the trailer. Could have been better, don't like the similarities to Guardians of the Galaxy and Fast & Furious,
What similarities to Guardians of the Galaxy? I keep seeing people say this, and it's just another made up reason to hate on this movie. You know what the trailer was similar to?
Star Trek 2009.
If any movie is "similar" to another, GotG is similar to ST09, not the reverse.
The thing is, I don't think the trailer really appealed to any sort of large audience.
And you judge that on what? The reality is that you usually hear from the people who bitch, not the people who don't. It's why a certain politically based channel manufactures outrage on a daily basis. Because they know angry people bitch and moan.....loudly. As I said elsewhere, when the trailer aired at the theater I was in that trailer was one of two that got a positive response from the audience. And that response started the second Scotty appeared on screen. The general public does not get hung up on the kind of shit that the true believers get hung up on. Like the Beastie Boys.
Obviously, a lot of hardcore Trekkies won't like it, then a lot of the common moviegoers will instantly strike it off their list because it has that icky Star Trek nerd stigma attached to it.
When your fandom has a generally negative stigma attached to it, the people attaching the stigma will probably run away from the things that fandom likes in order to not have the stigma put on them.
I have met more people who wouldn't be caught dead watching old Trek liking nuTrek.
The ones remaining are people like my friend. He's never seen an episode or movie of Star Trek, but still open-minded to actually watching one sometime, yet he said he hated the trailer, and won't go see it because "they're not respecting what makes Trek.. Trek".
Yes, because someone who's never seen an episode or watched a movie knows what makes "trek...trek".

I've got a friend who never watched an episode of Star Trek, who doesn't give two shits about sci-fi. He loved ST09. He borrowed my copy of it so many times that I finally gave him the DVD. He loved the last movie and he's excited for this movie. I've got other friends who did watch the classic series, who enjoyed it but were not "fans". They too enjoyed the last two movies and are excited for this one. They're also Beastie Boys fans and loved them getting played in the trailer.
Like it or not, Trek will never be this big money blockbuster action franchise like Star Wars or Fast & Furious that appeals to everyone.
So now it's "big money blockbuster"? Rick Berman once said Star Trek couldn't be a regular blockbuster. J.J. Abrams proved him wrong.
Marvel have went and basically said "fuck everyone else, were making movies for comic book fans, and if you don't like it, you can go somewhere else".
No, Marvel didn't do any of the things you've stated. Marvel has factory produced 12 formulaic, by the numbers films, designed for mass appeal. Marvel is to superhero films what McDonald's is to burgers.
Make movies and shows for your LOYAL FANS, and the rest will come. Not saying there aren't loyal fans who like the new films, sure, there's many, but they are still very polarizing films for sure. Make it for the fans, and with positive feedback, more will come.
"Fans" liked DS9, Voy and to an extent ENT. That's years worth of FREE Star Trek and nothing the "fans" said could get the public to watch FREE Star Trek. So "fans" aren't going to get the general public to pay to see Star Trek.
This needs to be repeated anytime someone suggests that regular people care what Star Trek fans say or like.
We can argue all day long about how good or bad the NuTrek films are, but I'm just saying, I'd rather have a movie that appeals to all Trek fans than one that appeals to some Trek fans and some casual moviegoers. Paramount should too.
The first of seven rules from the 1967 Star Trek Writers Guide (emphasis mine):
"Build your episode on a ACTION / ADVENTURE framework. We must reach out, hold and ENTERTAIN a mass audience of some 20,000,000 people or we simply don't stay on the air"
Stated in modern terms:
"Build your movie on an ACTION \ ADVENTURE framework. We must reach out, hold and ENTERTAIN a mass audience or we simply do not get to make more movies."
Looks like J.J. and Co. understand what those guys understood in the 60's: You can't survive by appealing to a select group of people. The goal is, first and foremost, to ENTERTAIN people. And people have been entertained. Just not those who want the same tired old Trek they had on t.v. during the 90's.