Caption Contest 37: JAFO f/x

[Triskelion]

Well clip my ears and call me Spocky, that's another one for the time capsule. We had three very funny winners this week, people I am very happy to award....


But first a Public Service Announcement:

And now:
​

First Image:

Trip: "I'm about to boldly shit where no man's shit before."

Second Image:

Trip: "Oh, hi there kids! Welcome to this week's episode of Starfleet Star Campers. I hope you all have your tricorders with you! Now, our friend Travis had a bit of a problem,- he was clearly quite constipated- and the solution taught us all a valuable lesson about teamwork. Let's activate the log viewer and see what we did to help....*dreamy shimmering noise*

'Chop Shop Award:

Congratulations Shatmandu (very dirty), Deranged Nasat (somewhat dirty), and seigezunt (name is probably dirty). You all deserved a win now, and with past captions too. Glad to have you guys around!

Shatmandu is the king of the dirty non-rhyming limerick and it's our honor to have you grace this forum. Deranged Nasat is back for another win! Great going, DN! Really storming the beach with an invasion of funny! Looking forward to more from you. And of course, seigezunt, with two very funny photoshops - I did a spit take when I saw the vulcans! Good eye! Keep 'em coming!


Your Prize:

Unlike the nameless peons, our illustrious winners get:


Statues of the Federation's Greatest Explorers!


Zephram Cochrane Bowling a Perfect Game:

and...


Captain Archer in his seat of power:

Our next contest come to us from Observer Effect with a nod towards Roy Scheider, and if you don't get my reference run out and rent Blue Thunder today!

_____________________________________________
what r u lookin' at??

 

[Shatmandu]

Hey, a win! Thanks much! That one made me laugh, too.

Anthony Montgomery: "Stare blankly? I can do that!"

Phlox: "My scans indicate you need to friggin' eat something."

 

[Mistral]

T'Pol: "It's right there on 'Rate Me Naked'. ILike2Phlox is your screen name, isn't it? I just want to know where you got those pictures of me."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hi!

Just wanted to stop by...watch you poop.

Need more paper?"

PHLOX:"An e-book?"

T'POL:"It's a late 20th century sociological work from Earth called FINAL EXIT. You may find it very enlightening...both to your mind...and your workload."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"If anyone asks...I'm not dry humping the circuitry access port on the reverse side of your science console."

T'POL:"Got it."

 

[Shatmandu]

T'Pol: "I checked, and there's nothing in the Denobulan database that mentions well-exerted flatulence as a form of respect."

 

[cooleddie74]

PHLOX:"You're selling chocolate candies to raise money for ANOTHER trip to the Katric Arks?

Fine. Let me see the list."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"You got the merchandise?"

T'POL:"That depends. You in possession of my reimbursement?"

ARCHER:"Oh yeah, baby. I got your...'reimbursement.'"

 

[Shatmandu]

Phlox: "Oh. I didn't know. On Denobula, a woman's nipples are supposed to point at each other."

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL:"Can you sign my petition to have Commander Tucker wear nothing but blue Starfleet skivvies seven days a week?"

PHLOX:"Alright. But ONLY if I get to take pictures for five of those days."

 

[think]

"no, don't change the channel of the view window."

"Dr. can you take this implant off the top of my ear .., right now."

"You are wrong T'Pol, the exact nature of the universe is not to actualize yourself into the next one."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I just went Number Two on the wrong side of the window...didn't I?"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win!

"Is he still out there?"
"Yes"
"Just...just avoid eye contact, okay? He'll surely leave if we just ignore him".
"He usually pops over at this time in the evening, for a chat"
"You IDIOT"
"Hey, it's not my fault I forgot. He's not exactly prominent around here, is he?"
"No one will notice, you said. I mean what sort of morons are we? The communications officer and the Tellarite ambassador- we're not exactly easy to ignore"
"Not like Travis"
"Who?"
"The guy at the door, remember?"
"Huh?"

Phlox (reads): "Damage report following Friday Night's Breakout from Sickbay: Between them, the Altairian marsupial and the Pyrithian bat have utterly ruined Captain Archer's best shirt- I'm so sorry-, dirtied Hoshi Sato's quarters- oh dear-, chewed through the plasma conduits on C-deck- shocking-, and devoured our last vegetable supplies- well, Subcommander, I don't know what to say- As for the Regulan Blood Worms...my god...I never thought them capable"

T'Pol: "I'm here to take the worms into custody, Doctor. Ambassador Soval is still gibbering".

Phlox (grimly): "Do as you must, subcommander".

 

[cooleddie74]

Window Travis is watching you regret being in the finale...

PHLOX:"Sorry, Subcommander.

I do NOT have time at this moment to play Tetris with you. Please ask Mister Tucker or Mister Reed."

 

[Triskelion]

Phlox: Go away Ensign Mayweather! There's no such thing as Space Rickets and I'm not rubbing decon gel on you!

T'Pol: I found your erotic fiction about as steamy as sandpaper. Which, for me, gave me multiple orgasms.
Phlox: Ah, "Fire in the Ice: An Amnesiac Vulcan Princess on Andor". I must submit this one to Analog.

Archer: Send a message to Soval at the Vulcan Embassy. Tell him no joy on the mandatory jumping jacks yet, but a corduroy bra will be making headlines. He'll know what it means. And sign it XO T'Pol.
T'Pol: Idiot.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

T'Pol: "Coupon?"
Archer: "Ah, well, you see, T'Pol, I don't have one, but I thought, seeing as I am the captain..."
T'Pol: "Next"
Archer: "Now come on T'Pol..."
T'Pol: "Next"
Archer: "You served Reed and Travis without coupons"
T'Pol: "Reed and Travis aren't currently embarassing the crew 24-7 on Kreetassan YouTube, are they, Captain?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Can someone let me out of the hallway? I can't stand this much free roaming space!!! It's INHUMAN!!!"

PHLOX:"You want me to order a subscription to TV GUIDE?

Is there a free football phone involved?"

T'POL:"The Vulcan Epic Fail Database has 43 pages of records on this phenomena, Captain...it is commonly referred to as Seriesfinalus Regurgitum."

 

[Mistral]

Archer: "So, how's your Mom?"

T'Pol: "She died."

Archer: "Oh, um, I'm sorry to-"

T'Pol: "You were there."

Archer: "Oh, yes, um-"

T'Pol: "You were the indirect cause."

Archer: "Ah, yes..." *pause* "So, what's Chef got on the menu tonight?"

 

[Mistral]

"My name is Talking Travis-and I don't like you very much!"

 

[ChristopherPike]

Hoshi: "Is this really necessary?"

Mayweather: "Ah-ha."

T'Pol: "I see that extra large vat of decon gel arrived."

Hoshi: "Wait... are you sure this was Phlox's idea?"

Mayweather: "Er, yeah. That's right..."

T'Pol: "We are not going to run out anytime soon I seems."

Mayweather: "You missed a spot. Right there...

Hoshi, you'd better help her..."

Hoshi: "Fine. Just keep your hands in the window, where I can see 'em."