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Caption Contest 21: The Spanish Acquisition

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Triskelion

Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Yes, it's the end of a great contest folks. Sorry to be over the time, last week my Chinese frankenstein computer crashed, and this week is Chinese Spring Festival, and I've been hosting guests from cleaver-wielding maniacs. You know, the holidays.

This contest features new and old winners alike: Skywalker, Herkimer Jitty (been deserving a win a long time!), jongredic, Alyssa (I could finally award you!), cooleddie74, SFRabid, Nebusj, Rat Boy, Nerys Myk, and two newcomers Piper, and Jimmy_C - great job guys, I hope we can see more from you!

This contest includes four multi-winners jongredic, cooleddie74, Nerys Myk and Alyssa! Awesome captioning people, and keep 'em coming!

So without further ado, let us congratulate:

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First Image:

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Archer: Man, this is the coolest pose ever. I can't believe I invented this.

Riker: "Computer, end program.

... bitch."

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Archer: Good morning everyone... T'Pol, Hoshi.
T'Pol, Hoshi: Captain.
Archer: Ahhh, the helm! Always got time for the pilot of my ship! What have you got for me today, Morn?
Mayweather: ...
Hoshi: ...
T'Pol: ...
Bridge Equipment: ...
Tumbleweed: ...
Archer: What?

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Archer: You know I really wish they'd hurry up and make the uniforms velour, this polyester jumpsuit's really starting to ride me.

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Archer: Okay Travis which one of these buttons makes T'Pol and Hoshi grease up and wrestle.

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ARCHER:"Good job, Travis.

You burned the Hot Pocket."


(...because what's better than a good hot pocket reference!)



Second Image:
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Trip: "Notice how the light reflects up at a perfect 90 degree angle when I point the flashlight at your chest. That means the top of your breast have a 45 degree slope."

T'Pol: "My friends told me not to date an engineer."
oasis-034.jpg

``Well, if you don't want to play Star Wars and you don't want to tell ghost stories and you don't want to predict things In The Year Two Thousand then what do you want to do?''

oasis-034.jpg


"Nice pair.

My sister used to have a set of those. Along with a head."


(*Sniffs*)

(That's so wrong!)


Third Image:
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T'Pol: "Me? Join your crew? But you are all emotional."

Tolaris: "Yes, but we have free dental coverage. Have a look."

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TOLARIS: Just a little document relieving me of any responsibility if something goes wrong during the meld. No big deal. Standard stuff

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Tolaris: I drew a picture of a sehlat for you. Do you like it?

(Is that like a "Liger"? ) :lol::cool:
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Tolaris: "If you could go ahead and make sure you do those TPS reports with the new cover sheet that would be greaaaaaat. MMMkay."

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TOLARIS:"See?

You get Mario to the top to rescue the little human princess from the large, angry Terran primate. But first you have to avoid being struck by the wooden containers that have been set rolling in your direction."


Multicap Award:

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Mayweather: I've finished the helm upgrade, sir! You like?
Archer: I do... I especially like how you've got T'Pol's monitor to act as a chest-level camera. Good work! Hoshi, put me on shipwide. Archer to all hands: Ensign Mayweather has arrived!
T'Pol: *sigh*


oasis-034.jpg


T'Pol: Mr Tucker, is that an X-ray flashlight
Trip: Ummm... No?
T'Pol: *sigh*

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Tolaris: I'll just hand you this padd... OHHH, oops! Whammy!
T'Pol: You're trying to touch my breast aren't you?
Tolaris: What can I say? I like the way you're put together.
T'Pol: *sigh*


End-the-bleeding-contest-already award:

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ARCHER: Ow, ow, ow.

TRAVIS: Problem sir?

ARCHER: Leg cramp. How long are these contests anyway?


And finally, the Caption Contest 20 #1 Winner:
:bolian::klingon::guffaw::rommie:
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Archer: "Here, Travis, let me show you how to--"
Mayweather: "I will knock you the **** out."
:bolian::klingon::guffaw::rommie:

Congratulations and bienvenidos to EVERY player and all the winners! The more the merrier, folks! So if you're not sure you want to join in, COME ON! We're waiting to laugh with you! Ok, laugh at you. Or near you.


All our winners get:

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Tribbles! Yay! (Do Not Feed)

and
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The San Francisco Treat!

And all captioners will be taking home a year's supply of Phlox's Decon Gel & All-Purpose Alien Lube:
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Our Next Contest
is from Acquisition and features characters in their underwear and even one nude on the bed! Remember, Ceiling Trip is watching you caption!

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_________________________________________________
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Cardinal Fang, fetch...the Photoshop! :bolian::alienblush::bolian:
 
Thank you for the mention! :)

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Is it wrong that I find its ears so attractive?
Me too, shush before the others hear.
 
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Tucker: "Whoa, Captain! You're beating that thing like it owes you money!"

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Tucker: "Turn me down, will she? Let's see how she likes it when she wakes up here in the group orgy room."

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Porthos (thinking): If there was only some way I could tell everyone who these losers are...
 
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PHLOX (off camera): So sorry Commander. My shower was on the fritz and T'Pol said I could use hers.

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Trip's career as male stripper was cut short when his dance moves were discovered to induced comas
 
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Connor hid when he heard what was planned for the final episode.

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After he had told the gazelle story for the 1000th time, Archer had to resort to chemical means to revive his comatose crew.
 
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"S'alright in the sickbay?

S'ALRIGHT!"


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"I am so glad they're all knocked out. I haven't showered in TWO WEEKS. Even stink would say my ass stinks!"

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PORTHOS:"Great.

I travel dozens of light-years into deep space to end up as a sex toy for a race of dentally-challenged midgets from a Renaissance Fair."
 
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"Hello?

Anyone here?

I...I seem to have gotten my ass stuck in the hatch up here!"
 
acquisition_081.jpg


Hello 911 it's Quagmire, yeah it's in the Jeffries tube again.

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Archer: (over comm) Archer to Tucker, how's it look down there?
Tucker: They're dumber than we thought Sir. You told all the women to sleep together but none of them understood what you meant.

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Porthos: They're laughing now, just wait until Paramount stops paying for their energy whips.
 
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"Go ahead and PEE already, dammit!

I'm losin' wood up here!!"


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TRIP:"This'll make her less bitchy after she comes to.

I hope."


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CLINT HOWARD FERENGI:"That reminds me...

We need to tell Ulis to take a bath. Ticks are getting ALLL over the place on our ship."
 
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Trip's scheme to stage the PERFECT gang-bang was ingeniously planned...but thanks to a shortage of sedatives in sickbay...poorly executed.
 
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"I sure hope this works.

Or else I'm out a week's worth of credits and I'm not gonna get any stink on my duck tonight."
 
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"This isn't the SWEET spot...

this is a G spot!!

Tell the Captain I ain't comin' back down for at least a DAY!!"
 

In the end, Porthos won the stare-down contest on behalf of the Federation and the disgruntled Ferengis left the event a lot poorer.
They never realized the dog had died and been stuffed years earlier...
 
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PORTHOS:"Well, either kidnap me and put me in a box or take a holopicture!

Don't just stand there like a couple of interspecies rapists!!"
 
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TRIP:"Hey...T'Pol?

You awake yet? Here...this'll help.

I need someone conscious so they can help me find where the hell I left my last pair of clean pants."
 
Thanks for the praise TRISKELION!! :D

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Phlox: Commander you can come down now.

Trip: Is the spider gone?
 
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What happened cap? You fall down go boom?


acquisition_216.jpg

Great, the roofie's worked. Now I have T'pol my harem is complete.


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Both species thinking: I'm not sure what it is, but I think it wants to eat me.
 
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