Anyone here have a hard time turning down the opposite sex?

[trekkerguy]

I once was in a long distance relationship for a year and a half and never felt tempted.

That said, I'm also a nerd so...

As if I'd get the chance.

I just refer to myself as a "Singularity"

 

[Nowhere Man]

It's a trap! Your wife is behind it and testing you.

Did your friend Admiral Akbar tell you this?

It's a Star Trek forum. Most of us probably have a hard time finding the opposite sex.

This.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I only do open relationships so I guess this isn't a problem for me.

 

[RoJoHen]

Gay men hit on me all the time. It's easy to turn them down because, well, I'm not gay.

Straight women, however, never hit on me.

 

[EnsignAmy]

I find it pretty easy to turn down guys who randomly hit on me, because more often than not they're jerks who I have utterly no interest in.

In fact, in those cases it can be quite enjoyable saying 'no' and seeing the bewildered look on their face as they're shocked, just shocked that not every woman on the planet wants to jump into bed with them.

 

[An Officer]

I find most advances, when they do happen, are subtle enough for me to pretend they didn't and just deal with the situation by overlooking it entirely (saves all parties embarrassment). It's very rare that I have come across extremely direct and aggressive advances. Maybe I'm not that easy to approach, I don't know. I don't give off very many open signals certainly, even when I have been single. I was happy to be single and didn't mind staying that way for the foreseeable future, the benefits of remaining footloose were very clear to me - it's quite difficult to stay out all weekend, have 3 or 4 different dates a week, drink like a fish, and still give your full attention and love to a significant other.

So, nope, I don't find it difficult to turn down the opposite sex, or any sex, because it's rare that anyone has made a pest of themselves in that way, most people are happy to read non-verbal signals and navigate a situation without overt displays and angst on either side. Plus, I am rarely in a social situation in which I am alone long enough for that to happen. So, chance would be a fine thing at this point! Maybe if it did happen, I'd enjoy making a big song and dance about it!

 

[SmoothieX]

I've had the opportunity a few times, and passed each time. I'm not going to ruin nearly 10 wonderful years with my wife for 15 minutes of fuck.

When I'm in a situation where a woman regularly flirts with me - work, school, whatever - I start wearing my wedding ring. Usually does the trick.

 

[JRS]

Never been popular with women, so I have never had to face this "hard time"(pfff..) of turning down women.
Women however never had hard time turning me down(thanks for the broken hearts and lonely years, girls)
I am sometimes confused when people complain when they are wanted, since some of us really have to struggle for just getting someone to go out with us.

I am now in a happy relationship, so my luck turned finally turned at somepoint.
I would never cheat on my gf, but I would be lying if I said that I never looked another woman..I have(there are some very beautiful ladies here in Czech, plus they are very nice and friendly)
I hope that doesnt make me a bad person.
The women dont notice me much , though

I think if one can controll his/hers desires(when married or relationship) this "unwanted attention" should not be a problem One just has to..turn them down but enjoy the attention
And If one doesnt want to be in the current relationship, they should end it, before getting into a new one..that is the least they can do(face to face, not with FB or cellphone).

I've had the opportunity a few times, and passed each time. I'm not going to ruin nearly 10 wonderful years with my wife for 15 minutes of fuck.

This

 

[Mr Awe]

or same sex I suppose if you're gay...anyway...

This applies mainly to people in long-term relationships/marriage.

I've been married a long time, I'm generally pretty happy, can't complain much, but I go through stretches where I have lots of women come on to me...I usually am told that I have a "taken" look and I try not to be flirty, so as to deter potential interest, but lately I've had a lot of women show interest(not for a relationship mind you, but sex), and its been harder and harder to turn them down..each one has been hotter than the next...It seems like women of all ages don't care if you're married anymore, it amazes me. So far I've done nothing but talk to a couple, but its always in the back of my head. I know that it should be easy not to think these thoughts at this point, but I'm a normal healthy male and well..we're not perfect..

RAMA

Similiar situation, married long time but with women coming on to me at various times. It sounds a bit different in some ways. Sounds like with you its on again, off again, a variable rate. With me, it seems more at a consistent rate. And, no, I don't mean all the time. I just mean it usually works out to one every couple of months which has been consistent over a number of year of years.

And, they're not always young and hot, but sometimes they are. I'm 40 but will often have women in their 20s hitting on me and it ranges up to women in their 50s. Again, on average, one every couple of months.

Now, honestly, the older women are not so tempting, although some of them I do truly like as people. But, dang, when its a young hot woman, that is tough! And, what they want varies. No relationships up to marriage! One young lady hid the fact that she was already engaged from me for that reason.

I do find that women, in general, are more reasonable about this (and many things) than men. That once they find out you're married they cease. I haven't had a problem yet of one who would not stop. And, no matter what they do, in the end, what YOU do is YOUR own choice and YOUR own responsibility. But, temptation is tough.

Mr Awe

 

[Ood Sigma]

I guess it's most likely me not putting myself in situations where I'm likely to, but I've only been "hit on" by a stranger once. My wife was working as a bartender at the time and she invited me to the New Year's Eve party at the bar she was working at, so we could spend the new year together. I got there early and got a good seat right at the bar. A woman who ended up sitting next to me at some point asked if I was a "lonely traveler" since I was by myself, and did I want to come up to her room (the bar was in a hotel) with her and her boyfriend? I told her that no, my wife was right there in front of me, and I wasn't interested. It was so loud in there that my wife had no idea it had happened until I told her on the way home. She thought it was kind of funny.

Other than that, no one has seriously come on to me or really even flirted with me. It's fine as I'm happily married and it would probably only make things tense. And as I mentioned, I'm rarely in a situation where I would meet women who were interested in finding someone.

 

[Spot's Meow]

Yeah I'm pretty hard-pressed to think of a time when someone was openly hitting on me. I guess I just don't go to the kinds of places where that would happen. At work my co-workers know I'm happily taken as I talk about my boyfriend all the time. And if I'm going out somewhere else my boyfriend is almost always with me. Maybe I'm just really good at sending out the "taken, not interested" vibes from afar, but in the five years we've been together I can't think of any other person who has expressed interest in me.

 

[LitmusDragon]

It's a Star Trek forum. Most of us probably have a hard time finding the opposite sex.

This

 

[Robert Maxwell]

It's a Star Trek forum. Most of us probably have a hard time finding the opposite sex.

This

I think I'm gonna put this to the test and post a poll.

 

[farmkid]

Even if I knew 100% I'd never get caught I wouldn't do it... the whole idea of getting married is to devote yourselves to each other. You promise to love, honor, and cherish. If that doesn't mean anything to you, then either don't get married, or have an open relationship... or become swingers.

It's not a matter so much of getting caught, as it is of love and respect. If you truly love and respect what you have, the thought would not occur to cheat, because you would have enough respect to not want to risk ruining the trust and the relationship you have.

Again, just my two cents.

Couldn't have said it better myself. It's not about getting caught, it's about integrity and doing what's right.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

It's a Star Trek forum. Most of us probably have a hard time finding the opposite sex.

This

Pffft. I hate this kind of generalization. I know it's all in good fu, but it's so not true in the broadest spectrum of things. Not for Star Trek, not for Stargate, not for any of the big sci-fi heavies. I know so many happily-married or blissfully-single fans.

 

[Shaw]

This applies mainly to people in long-term relationships/marriage.

...

I do understand the feelings... I have (more often than I care to admit) run across members of the opposite sex where there was a strong chemical attraction. The type of thing that hits both parties and is unmistakable... and seemingly irresistible.

I emphasize seemingly because in the end we are human and we are quite able to overcome our more basic instincts.

I've always been at risk of these types of encounters because I naturally gravitate towards women socially. Most of my friends are women, most of my clients are women... I spend a lot of time around women. And for my work, it is worse because my job is mainly catering to the customer.

But like I said... we are human, so any urges can be overcome. I know that you have to overcome the urge to stop working out when you get tired... so I know you have the mental discipline (that others may claim not to have). And knowing you can overcome such urges is really more than half the battle.

For me, when presented with similar situations, I need only ask myself how I would feel if my wife had an affair... and then ask myself if I'd be willing to inflict those types of feelings on the person I love more than anyone else.

And the answer is always no.

 

[Holdfast]

... its been harder and harder to turn them down...

It's all about choices though; which choice would you be happier with? The sex with the new partner or the relationship you're currently in? There's no right or wrong answer - not my place to say - but if you actively ask yourself the question each time and assume the worst case scenario of them being mutually exclusive options, then you're more likely to come up with the answer that actually makes you happiest. Which, at the end of the day, is what making choices should be all about.

 

[Trekker4747]

I've had a lot of women show interest(not for a relationship mind you, but sex), and its been harder and harder to turn them down..each one has been hotter than the next...It seems like women of all ages don't care if you're married anymore, it amazes me.

.....

Gee.

Wish I had your problems.

I'd give both my nuts to get even one woman to show any interest in me whatsoever.

 

[Electric Coleslaw]

I found that my opportunities for sex with women doubled once I got married. It's like some cruel joke. Once in a bar a girl was flirting with me and I fessed up that not only was I married but my wife was at the other end of the bar. That only excited the girl more. What the hell?

I think it's the desperation meter a guy has. When you're single the meter runs high and it's a turn off. But married, it's so low the warning light is like a beacon.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I've had a lot of women show interest(not for a relationship mind you, but sex), and its been harder and harder to turn them down..each one has been hotter than the next...It seems like women of all ages don't care if you're married anymore, it amazes me.

.....

Gee.

Wish I had your problems.

I'd give both my nuts to get even one woman to show any interest in me whatsoever.

You don't have to give up your nuts, though you might need to work on your personality.