If Katy Perry kisses your girlfriend, please tell us!
Another guy kissed my girlfriend.
- Thread starter Tiberius Jim
- Start date
All I can say is, you're lucky to have a faithful, honest, and wise girlfriend.
i'd knock his fucking teeth out.
as it is, i say leave it. if he tries anything again, THEN knock his fucking teeth out. or at least kick him in the happysacks.
as it is, i say leave it. if he tries anything again, THEN knock his fucking teeth out. or at least kick him in the happysacks.
I'm just saying it is worrisome. Unless you don't consider her personal safety important, it IS worrisome.
Mr Awe
Well, I guess you're allowed to have sleep at some point and do interviews.
Good luck with the interview.I'm sure all will be fine with your girlfriend. This is just a small bump on the road. Don't interfere unless she requests it.
Mr Awe
Okay, I'm back. Now rather than quote every post that's been made since my initial description, I'll try to sum up my response to everyone.
I do agree that it was a poor decision for her to hang out with this guy in the first place. I made it very clear to her last night when she told me what happened that while I wasn't necessarily mad at her or blaming her for it, I was unhappy that she put herself in that position and confused as to why she would do so. She said she doesn't know why she went out side of the fact that he seemed like an okay guy, maybe a little off, but that she didn't expect anything like this to happen.
She told me a few weeks ago how the guy reacted when she told him she is in a relationship, so I do know he is aware that she is taken. Knowing her as well as I do, and the fact that she told me about it at the earliest possible time she could without telling me over the phone leads me to believe her going to his place was innocent, and she simply thought she'd be hanging out with a friend. One of the things I love about her is that she is very trusting...unfortunately sometimes to a fault as in this case. She really does see the best in people, but sometimes I think that can effect her judgment. She did stay with an abusive boyfriend for over 3 years, after all. In my quest for understanding why she would go over there, agree to close her eyes, etc, my conclusion is becoming more and more that she simply didn't make the connection to him being a creep. I will talk to her more about it today to try and understand her thought process.
As far as the guy goes, I won't make any sort of gesture towards him, either physically or verbally, until he makes his next move. I do agree with what others have speculated that he will make another move. I think him rescinding his immature ultimatum ("be with me or I'm not gonna be your friend") tells me there is more going on than a guy with a crush who took a shot. He must see her as some sort of conquest or a goal to be achieved, and couldn't give two shits about who stands in his way. What he did shows a complete lack of respect for the relationship she and I have. I suppose that's what I mean when I say "you shouldn't go after another guy's girl." I'm not claiming ownership at all, I'm simply saying that you shouldn't attempt to disrupt a relationship for your own personal gain.
He's known her for a total of about a month...she and I have been together nearly a year now and have known each other longer. She and I are happy together, with plans for marriage, a home and a family. While I am secure and confident that any attempt he makes at breaking us up will be futile, I still resent somebody even trying to do so.
BTW, she did actually request that I not do anything. She knows it will already be awkward around him anyway, and me doing anything would only make it worse. I will be visiting her more at work, though. I haven't even met the guy, and all I've seen is his Facebook profile. I at least want to make my presence known...and at the same time there's nothing wrong with bringing my lovely girlfriend a nice homemade lunch now and then.
I do agree that it was a poor decision for her to hang out with this guy in the first place. I made it very clear to her last night when she told me what happened that while I wasn't necessarily mad at her or blaming her for it, I was unhappy that she put herself in that position and confused as to why she would do so. She said she doesn't know why she went out side of the fact that he seemed like an okay guy, maybe a little off, but that she didn't expect anything like this to happen.
She told me a few weeks ago how the guy reacted when she told him she is in a relationship, so I do know he is aware that she is taken. Knowing her as well as I do, and the fact that she told me about it at the earliest possible time she could without telling me over the phone leads me to believe her going to his place was innocent, and she simply thought she'd be hanging out with a friend. One of the things I love about her is that she is very trusting...unfortunately sometimes to a fault as in this case. She really does see the best in people, but sometimes I think that can effect her judgment. She did stay with an abusive boyfriend for over 3 years, after all. In my quest for understanding why she would go over there, agree to close her eyes, etc, my conclusion is becoming more and more that she simply didn't make the connection to him being a creep. I will talk to her more about it today to try and understand her thought process.
As far as the guy goes, I won't make any sort of gesture towards him, either physically or verbally, until he makes his next move. I do agree with what others have speculated that he will make another move. I think him rescinding his immature ultimatum ("be with me or I'm not gonna be your friend") tells me there is more going on than a guy with a crush who took a shot. He must see her as some sort of conquest or a goal to be achieved, and couldn't give two shits about who stands in his way. What he did shows a complete lack of respect for the relationship she and I have. I suppose that's what I mean when I say "you shouldn't go after another guy's girl." I'm not claiming ownership at all, I'm simply saying that you shouldn't attempt to disrupt a relationship for your own personal gain.
He's known her for a total of about a month...she and I have been together nearly a year now and have known each other longer. She and I are happy together, with plans for marriage, a home and a family. While I am secure and confident that any attempt he makes at breaking us up will be futile, I still resent somebody even trying to do so.
BTW, she did actually request that I not do anything. She knows it will already be awkward around him anyway, and me doing anything would only make it worse. I will be visiting her more at work, though. I haven't even met the guy, and all I've seen is his Facebook profile. I at least want to make my presence known...and at the same time there's nothing wrong with bringing my lovely girlfriend a nice homemade lunch now and then.
I've considered something along those lines, but I just can't get myself to dedicate the time to such an endeavor. I could always post his page here. He's got it pretty secure but at least everyone could see who I'm dealing with here.
Don't do that. That's a violation of privacy that he hardly deserves. And don't grill your girl anymore either. She had a bad experience, she won't get into a situation like that again, and no one's really the worse for it.
Stop caring about this dude and go cuddle with your girlfriend or something. She seems sweet.
Stop caring about this dude and go cuddle with your girlfriend or something. She seems sweet.
The title says it all. She just told me today, and it happened last night. The dude is a coworker of her's, and when they closed up shop, he asked her if she wanted to hang out. Now, she's told me this guy has weirded her out a bit at work before, so I'm still not sure why she agreed to go hang out at his house in the first place, but that's what happened.
He took her to his room supposedly to show her his computer (she's a bit of a tech geek like myself). I guess at one point, he looked...pensive. She asked what he was thinking about. He says, "Close your eyes." Not sure what was going on, she did so. That's when he leans in and kisses her.
She immediately pulled away and asked him what the hell he thought he was doing. He basically professes his feelings for her right then and there. He wants her to flat out tell him if she's not attracted or interested. She tells him...she's not attracted, interested OR available. He says he doesn't care that she's not available, because he goes after the things he wants, or some bullshit like that. She again says no, she doesn't want anything like that. He then tells her he either wants to be with her, or nothing at all. If she won't be his girlfriend he doesn't want her as a friend...
So she said, "Okay...bye."
Sadly, that's not the end of him. She is his coworker. At the store she just got transferred to. Her transfer to this store basically saved her job. Had she stayed at her previous location, she would have been fired due to her poor sales numbers. This new store has much better clientele and more traffic, so she can make a lot more money. Unfortunately, she'll be working with this piece of shit. She can't exactly complain because this happened off of company time and property, and he's always a model employee at work. He also text messaged her today saying he changed his mind, and will still be her friend. Oh, thank God...He also accused her of leading him on by simply "being sexy."
So now I have the dilemma as the boyfriend of what to do. Part of me wants to simply end this guy. While I don't see my girlfriend as property, you simply do not make a move on another guy's girl. And when you do, you should face some sort of consequences. I just don't know what to do, but feel I should do something. If I do nothing, he'll assume she didn't tell me, or that I'm too weak to confront him. If I do confront him and end up kicking his ass, we've got legal and criminal issues to deal with. There's got to be something in between, and I'm not in a state of mind to figure it out. I'm pissed at this guy, and a little mad at her for putting herself in that situation...but mostly just pissed at him.
Anyway, any sage advice from you guys would be greatly appreciated.
Go up to the guy and tell him off. But the fear of God in him through words, while making no specific threats. Tell him to back-off and leave your girl alone.
Oh, and that he's a douchebag.
Yeah, good point. I really shouldn't waste any effort or energy on this guy. He has in the last 12 hours both text messaged her and called her. The text was expressing how excited he that she's been transferred to his store (big shock there), and she didn't answer his call. I had the urge to answer it myself but, again...I shouldn't spend any more time and energy on the guy than I need to.
And I have been spending time with her today. She's in bed now with a headache, but I did nap with her earlier and she spent the night last night. All is well on our end.
If this guy is pestering her on the phone and kissing her without her permision he sounds... unstable to me.
J
Jetfire
Guest
Just going by what you have already said...yes there is something off about this guy. I believe he will try and do something else based on his actions already.
She does need to go through official channels at work if this guy becomes a problem...and document everything like others have said.
She does need to go through official channels at work if this guy becomes a problem...and document everything like others have said.
Well, so far he's kept things professional at work...except for one exchange...that went something like this...
Him: You smell amazing
Her: Thanks, it's Body by Victoria.
Him: I love the smell of beautiful.
Her: No, not beautiful...Body.
Him: Well I love the smell of Body, and you're beautiful.
Her: Er...
Any more of that shit and I'm going to insist she make a report. I've already asked her to let her manager know about the general situation, just so he's not blindsided if something comes up.
Also, she told me he refuses to refer to me as her boyfriend if he mentions me. He insists on calling me her "bodyguard".
Him: You smell amazing
Her: Thanks, it's Body by Victoria.
Him: I love the smell of beautiful.
Her: No, not beautiful...Body.
Him: Well I love the smell of Body, and you're beautiful.
Her: Er...
Any more of that shit and I'm going to insist she make a report. I've already asked her to let her manager know about the general situation, just so he's not blindsided if something comes up.
Also, she told me he refuses to refer to me as her boyfriend if he mentions me. He insists on calling me her "bodyguard".
If that exchange is true, that's sexual harassment.
S
Stone_Cold_Sisko
Guest
Mmhmm.
Frankly, based on the info in this thread, I'm not really buying the girlfriend's version of the story completely. As someone who's had wild successes and bitter failures with women, one thing I know for sure... every time a women is legitimately "weirded out", they do everything they can to avoid going home alone with the person, much less going up to their room alone.
And frankly, the "close your eyes" bit, sounds really made up... like something out of a movie. It's almost a little too convenient. Not only did she not invite it, she didn't even SEE it coming! Really, there was NO WAY to avoid the kiss!!!!!
My guess, based on no facts at all and complete ignorance of the relationship between the OP and the girl... is that the attention made her feel good, and a little excited, that endorphin rush when someone of the opposite sex shows you attention. Maybe she didn't go there intending anything to happen... but it's kind of like, enjoying the sexual rush of flirting, while saying "Hey I'm not actually going to do anything! It's all good, we're just talking."
Going back to the OP's question... i like another poster's suggestion of just coming in one day, ignoring him, and being extra passionate to your girlfriend right in front of him. I also think, your GF's reaction to this will tell you something. Women are all about non-verbal signals.
Also, if he keeps calling, I do suggest you pick it up, but don't be angry, just be like "this is her boyfriend, but she's right here cuddling in my lap... who is this??"
In other words, make things as uncomfortable as possible for him. Just rub it in.
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no, say "Sorry, she can't talk at the moment, she's got her mouth full... ooo... yeah... ooo, baby." then hang up.
J
Jetfire
Guest
Well, so far he's kept things professional at work...except for one exchange...that went something like this...
Him: You smell amazing
Her: Thanks, it's Body by Victoria.
Him: I love the smell of beautiful.
Her: No, not beautiful...Body.
Him: Well I love the smell of Body, and you're beautiful.
Her: Er...
Any more of that shit and I'm going to insist she make a report. I've already asked her to let her manager know about the general situation, just so he's not blindsided if something comes up.
Also, she told me he refuses to refer to me as her boyfriend if he mentions me. He insists on calling me her "bodyguard".
I stand by my original statement.
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