Sexual harassment at SF cons

[Opus]

I think it should be expected if you are a female and going some place crowded to get some unwanted attention or get "bumped" into.

Balony. And don't give me that "I mean bump shoulders' nonsense. Thta is disqualified with your "unwanted attention". No one should expect unwanted attention, especially at an organized event

Organizers really can't police everyone.

They are expected to hold an event that is safe for everyone to attend. So yes, they should be policing and taking care of situations like these. And they should have policies in place that deal immediately with people who violate the law.

But as long as you have someone there with you to discourage most of that, things should be fine.

What is this? Some back-world caveman practice? That's not to say if my wife and kids were being harassed I wouldn't step in. I would. But I'd then be quite pissed that I had to take care of it instead of the folks running the show.

Fortunately, my experiences at cons have all been positive. The guests have been nice, and the con-goers have been very kind to my family. They have been wonderful celebrations of diversity.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

The only way I can see the SF cons completely solve this problem is if they ban costumes. But I don't think anyone wants that.

Ah, yes. It's the costumes that are the problem, not the jerks who think they are an invitation for inappropriate behavior.

"I couldn't help grabbing her, Your Honor! Look at how she was dressed!"

 

[Dream]

Ah, yes. It's the costumes that are the problem, not the jerks who think they are an invitation for inappropriate behavior.

"I couldn't help grabbing her, Your Honor! Look at how she was dressed!"

Yes, the costumes do play a part. But it doesn't excuse inappropriate behavior.

But how often do you think a guy dressed as Batman or Iron Man get harassed? They might get a lot of praise if it looks good.

 

[Pingfah]

Women get harassed in most places, it has nothing to do with costumes. Banning women dressingly sexily would not suddenly eradicate sexual harassment in the workplace, so why should it at a convention?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Ah, yes. It's the costumes that are the problem, not the jerks who think they are an invitation for inappropriate behavior.

"I couldn't help grabbing her, Your Honor! Look at how she was dressed!"

Yes, the costumes do play a part. But it doesn't excuse inappropriate behavior.

You are clearly indicating that some culpability for inappropriate behavior rests on the cosplayer who chose to dress immodestly, as if she should just "expect" bad behavior because of what she's wearing. Why is the jackass who feels the need to poke and grope and "bump" not 100% responsible for his actions?

But how often do you think a guy dressed as Batman or Iron Man get harassed? They might get a lot of praise if it looks good.

Oh, is this cosplaying's "men get raped, too" argument?

No one's complaining about getting praise so why even bring that up?

 

[Trekker4747]

No matter who you are the way you dress is going to draw some kind of attention and that may be the kind of attention you do not want. For women at cons who are scantly-clad or dressed in sexy costumes you should expect some degree of leering and ogling. But the way she is dressed doesn't open her up to unwanted touching or even to rude comments or to have random strangers ask for her picture.

"Look don't touch" rule, in effect.

 

[Darth Duck]

No matter who you are the way you dress is going to draw some kind of attention and that may be the kind of attention you do not want. For women at cons who are scantly-clad or dressed in sexy costumes you should expect some degree of leering and ogling. But the way she is dressed doesn't open her up to unwanted touching or even to rude comments or to have random strangers ask for her picture.

"Look don't touch" rule, in effect.

I feel that maybe wearing an awesome costume should open someone up to the idea that strangers may want their picture, because "OMG Awesome Costume! That made my day, I have ideas for Halloween. Where did you find fabric with that pattern?" You know, from people expressing an interest in the costume.

Leering and ogling are the things that one can hope to avoid. There's a line between looking at and appreciating someone in a costume and eyeball-fucking someone. And if someone (a general "someone," not you Trekker) can't figure out where that line is they should stay home because they're not fit to be out in public with other people.

 

[RJDiogenes]

It's the people walking around with signs saying Free Hugs I'm talking about.

I don't know about conventions, but this has been on my YouTube favorites list for a long time:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4&list=TL4Nf69d-MUIM[/yt]

It's pretty obvious that wearing a costume is an invitation to look; it should be equally obvious that an invitation to look is not an invitation to touch. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman or gay or straight. Have some manners.

QFT wise grape.

The worst thing about those Free Hugs people is that they undermine my Hugs for £5 business, which I thought was quite reasonably priced.

Everybody goes for the freeware.

 

[Awesome Possum]

The worst thing about those Free Hugs people is that they undermine my Hugs for £5 business, which I thought was quite reasonably priced.

I once carried around a toy facehugger from Aliens with a "Free Hugs" sticker on it. A lot of people accepted it from the little guy.

I always found the people who actually do it without sarcasm to be creepy.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

The Free Hugs people I've seen here have been clumps of teenagers. I still find it creepy, for one thing I've met quite a few males at cons that I would not want to see hugging some of those teenagers.

 

[Amaris]

I'm fine with hugs that don't have an agenda behind them, well, beyond the agenda of giving someone a hug because either or both parties need one. I'm happy to hug anyone that wants a hug.

 

[Trekker4747]

I duinno, I've been to cons and seen the costumes and I'll admit to looking. Leering? Not exactly but sometimes it can be hard not to. But I'm not going to be one who has to have his picture taken with a pretty girl. I've not gotten that pathetic yet.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

No one's going to police leering/ogling. Guys should just have some fucking manners. Sure, take a look. Want a picture? Ask for one. Don't stand there and stare like a damn creep, though.

 

[propita]

Kudos to men who don't do this and for men who speak up when jerks are around. The more who speak up and show it's unacceptable, the less it'll happen in future.

I was at SDCC with my son about five years ago (he was 13 then) and he was very impressed with the cosplayers. He wanted to take pictures, and I told him he should say hello, tell them they look nice or ask what their costume is, and then ask for a picture. He was enjoying the girls posing for pictures.

Then a 'gentleman' came up telling a girl how hot she was and what he would like to do with her. I could see the girl was getting upset and I moved to intercede. But my son turned to the guy and said "Hey loser, do you talk to your sister like that?" and loud enough so everyone around could hear. Said loser slinked away into the crowd, and my son got a kiss on the cheek from the girl for rescuing her.

I was so proud. Ya gotta love it when your kids impress you by showing they have been listening.

I love your boy and am very proud of him! And I appreciate you for raising him so well!

 

[Amaris]

I duinno, I've been to cons and seen the costumes and I'll admit to looking. Leering? Not exactly but sometimes it can be hard not to. But I'm not going to be one who has to have his picture taken with a pretty girl. I've not gotten that pathetic yet.

It's not pathetic to get your picture taken with a pretty girl, or guy. I got a hell of a lot of pictures with people in different costumes, men and women, and I love every single one of them. Some of those folks put a lot of work into their costumes, and the ones I asked for pictures were more than happy to let me take those pictures. There's nothing creepy or pathetic about that.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I duinno, I've been to cons and seen the costumes and I'll admit to looking. Leering? Not exactly but sometimes it can be hard not to.

And how do you behave at the beach?

 

[Sephiroth]

it's why I hate cons, I'm not too...good...with large crowds, but I'm the intimidating looking guy in my circle of friends so I end up going as a perv deflector

 

[Trekker4747]

I duinno, I've been to cons and seen the costumes and I'll admit to looking. Leering? Not exactly but sometimes it can be hard not to.

And how do you behave at the beach?

Not a lot of beaches in Kansas.

 

[Rincewiend]

I duinno, I've been to cons and seen the costumes and I'll admit to looking. Leering? Not exactly but sometimes it can be hard not to.

And how do you behave at the beach?

Not a lot of beaches in Kansas.

They should dig a hole and fill it with water, An artificial lake...
About the size of Texas should do it...*



*General playful comment about Texas, not Trekker...

 

[SeerSGB]

I duinno, I've been to cons and seen the costumes and I'll admit to looking. Leering? Not exactly but sometimes it can be hard not to.

And how do you behave at the beach?

Not a lot of beaches in Kansas.

Summertime, farm girls?