VOY Caption Contest 76; The Iron Lady, Captain Janeway!

[Ln X]

Thanks to all those who captioned! Sorry I took a while, but I got off my lazy ass and got this show moving again!

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Our winners are:

The 'even Vulcans fondle themselves' award goes to:

"Yes.. like that.. oh yes.."
"Always at your service Mr. Vulcan."

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Tuvok's command style is rather disturbing:

"Chief of Security Log, Stardate 48972.3. I have completed a thorough review of all ship personnel, and have decided that in order for Voyager to survive its journey through the Delta Quadrant, Mr. Paris and Mr. Neelix will have to endure explosive decompression out the most convenient airlock. I have forwarded these findings to Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway and am currently awaiting a response."

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The 'sexial suppression' award goes to:

KIM: This is how you forestalled pon farr all those years?
TUVOK: Yes.
KIM: I prefer Chaotica's slave girl Harem in his Fortress of Doom in Tom's holoprogram.

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The 'yes you can insult Tuvok' award goes to:

Tuvok: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but... Wait a minute! What the hell did you just call me?"

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Even Tuvok can attract the ladies:

"It seems I owe Mr. Paris an apology; the "tie his shoelaces together when he isn't looking trick' does indeed work."

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Tuvok: It's quite simple, we kill the Batman!

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The 'mirror, mirror who art thou?' award goes to:

Tuvok thinking - "I need to get this mirror checked out..."

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Introducing...Lady Gagh'a!

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There were some other funny photoshop pictures, but this one has the Gorn monster which is so fricking cool! The Photoshop Award goes to:

TUVOK: "Look behind you?". Vulcans are far too intelligent to fall for such an obvious ruse.

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Our next batch of pictures concern Janeway, to all those who dig the 'Janeway appreciation' threads, here is your chance to say some things:

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And because I hate 3D films so much, here is something for you to gnaw (sorry caption) on:

This contest will close on the 27th of April! Until then happy captioning!

 

[JanewayRulz!]

Thanks for the win!

You want me to put that where????

Janeway: They're still following us.
Chakotay: Just be cool, we'll lose them on the boardwalk and then...
Janeway: Then I get to take that feather and...
Cahkotay: Walk faster!

Janeway: Look at it this way... at least you don't have to worry about the beauticians giving you 9 different hairstyles in your first season!

Janeway: Just sign here... and then the fun will really begin!

Janeway: Seven... if I catch you looking at my gluteus maximus one more time...
Seven: Then I suggest you stop standing within my line of sight, Captain. I am only a deborgified human, afterall.

Janeway: EXCUSE me?
EMH:You didn't say "Bless me Father"first.
Janeway: That collar only works in Fairhaven, Doctor. I think its time to restrict your holodeck privileges.

Janeway: Trust me, Sweetheart, if she LIKED bald ... she'd be hanging out with our EMH a lot more than she does with me.

Janeway:Thank Gawd the EMH isn't here taking pictures of us wearing these stupid glasses.
Tuvok: Indeed.

 

[Violet.Phoenix]

Janeway: Uhh, Chakotay is that thing supposed to be vibrating?

Seven: This costume is inadequate. I demand something more sufficient.

Janeway: Oh you'll get 'sufficient' all right.

Janeway getting a handle on the 'Captain's log'.

After discovering what her first officer and ex-Borg had been up to, Captain Janeway knew that her ship would never be the same.

Doc: Hologram or not, Captain, the 'no love without the glove' rule still applies.

Janeway: You really need to pick better hairdressers. This one went and chopped it all off!
Queen: I did not realize how very ethusiastic Edward Scissorhands was about using his talents.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Thanks for the win!

"NO NO NO! IN THE NAME OF MY ANIMAL GUIDE, NO! It's 'Acoochee-moya, we are far from home,' not 'a jacuzzi-toya, in my home.' And where in the hell are my sacred stones?"

Tuvok: Captain, it would seem most logical that we go back and listen to what that gentleman has to say about time-shares. That way, we could acquire free tickets to the Cetacean Institute instead of paying for tickets ourselves.

"We are Borg! We have no use for carpets OR drapes, so your inquiry as to whether or not both of mine match is irrelevant!"

"As I recall, Mr. Paris said this film was made by one of history's greatest directors... a man who had artistic integrity and a sense of style other filmmakers could only dream of having... I believe he said the fellow's name was... Michael Bay."

 

[GSnail]

*zap*
Janeway: I hate this movie.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Janeway, thinking: My God her breath smells. What do they feed these borg?

 

[Disruptor]

Janeway: "If anyone asks we are a Manhattan Transfer cover band called 'The Delta Quad'."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Tuvok: Captain, before we left Voyager, I accessed "Colorful Metaphors" by Ambassador Spock so we could better, the hell, fit in.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Tuvok: "Twentieth-century 3-D porn was...odd."
Janeway: "Yeesh! I wish he would stop pointing that thing straight at the camera!"

 

[Lipton]

Janeway: "See! I can't see!"
Tuvok: "Perhaps I should have gone over Mr. Paris's projection subroutines to look for errors, as he suggested."

Seven: "Captain?"
Janeway: "Nothing important, Seven. Just contemplating something... Could you leave the room for a moment, Commander?"
(thinking, in a sing song voice) I'm gonna ruin her opinion of Cha-ko-tay...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Seven: "Well...I think it's more my angle of view than the uniform itself...but, yes, it does make your butt look big."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Tuvok: Captain, when you suggested we watch The Red Green Show, I had no idea this was what you meant.

 

[david lowbridge]

Janeway: So all I have to do is give you five buck and you will give me this feather that will make my wildest dreams come true. Now I'm sure I received an e-mail about this last week?

New this Fall: CSI: Voyager

Janeway: Perhaps the Borg need to assimilate a tailor.

Janeway: Now if you press this button and this button and give your thumb scan here I can get room service paid for by you.

7 of 9: Now captain you stand in the corner for five minutes and think about what you did. You must ask permission before pressing buttons.

Doctor: Please state the nature of the spiritual emergency.

Janeway: Hello, this is call about your Payment Protection Insurance. Did you know thousands of people are claiming...
Queen: Oh darn, that's the fourth one today.

Tuvok, sometimes I think that the producers want me to look stupid.

 

[Ln X]

Please note: REALLY sorry for the triple posting of this thread, I was tired and in my slumber I panicked and thought I hadn't posted the original thread... If that makes any sense...

THIS is the thread to post in and to all those who posted on the other two INVALID threads, please paste and copy your responses and place them on THIS THREAD.

Thank you, and sorry for messing up!

 

[Ln X]

Janeway: What do you mean I have to fondle something?

Kate Mulgrew: Ugh!
Robert Beltran: What's the matter?
Kate Mulgrew: Jeri Ryan's turned up!

Seven: I will never wear those ridiculous catsuits!

Janeway: Nice alien! Just press these commands, that's it! Press the one to destroy your ship, I mean-

Janeway thinking: I'm queen of the universe! Captain of the best ship ever! I have the best looks of them all, and I have a body of a Goddess!

Doctor: Non-real or not, you need to take better care of yourself captain. Safe sex still applies with holograms. In fact especially with holograms!

Janeway: Wait a minute! I know you! You're that Trill woman who kissed Jadzia Dax! Lenara whatsits... Lenara Kahn that's it!
Borg Queen: I don't know what you are talking about...
Janeway: So that explains why your so pissed off with the Alpha Quadrant! You were caught in an act of reassociation!

Janeway: I heard that George Lucas the 15th made this film.

 

[Akiraprise]

I've closed the other two threads. Bad Ln X.

 

[Mistral]

"NO NO NO! IN THE NAME OF MY ANIMAL GUIDE, NO! It's 'Acoochee-moya, we are far from home,' not 'a jacuzzi-toya, in my home.' And where in the hell are my sacred stones?"

"Sacred st-I thought they were ben-wa balls. Hang on a second..."

 

[Ln X]

I've closed the other two threads. Bad Ln X.

I didn't do it deliberately, and I don't remember the precise chain of events, but I'm sorry for any bother caused and it won't happen again.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TUVOK: Next time, I get to be Tubbs.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: Turns out you were right, I did have a stick up my butt.