Movie Caption Contest #211: "New Challenges"

[Mr Silver]

Greetings folks, it's time for another contest. So without further ado, let's recognise...

It seems that they'll let anyone join Starfleet...

ERNESTINE: One ringy dingy. Two ringy dingy...

SPOCK: Just answer the hail, Lieutenant.

The award for something that would give the DTI a headache goes to...

Uhura: I am receiving a transmission from a Klingon vessel Mr. Spock. You'll never believe who's transmitting...

Spock: I believe I have made a slight miscalculation on our warp slingshot Doctor.

For revealing that even starship captain's have to get into the great continunity arguments...

Picard: ...And since Worf wasn't as prominent in the first half of Season 7 of Deep Space Nine, his presence in this film does not cause any continuity errors...

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And the bonus winner...

Sulu: According to this, we've completed our survey of the entire sector...

Cup: I have a bad feeling about this...

Well done to all the winners! This caption contest...


Kruge and company discover the horrors of Earth's internet...

Rand is annoyed when she recieves a Klingon spam email...

And Data and Geordi are about to make the mistake of trying Gorn urine...

BONUS CAPTION!!

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[Deranged Nasat]

Central Klingon: "I think last night's dinner was to blame for the mass fatalities, sir. According to WiQipi'D'ya, raw bear liver contains...fatal amounts of Vitamin A".

Kruge: "Well, Chef?".

Klingon on right: "...Let me read it all..."

Data: "Observe, Geordi. I rub the lamp, and Guinan appears".

Guinan: "What can I get you, gentlemen? Your craving is my command. Three orders each. And no putting in orders for more orders!"

 

[Thor Damar]

"Great Kahlesses Ghost, we've got to get this Bird of Prey up to 80 miles per hour!"

(Not a great first go but I couldn't help myself...)


Or:
Klingon first officer: "Sir, Chang has just twittered about you...he says that "Kruge is a cowardly petaQ who would rather run and hide than fight Kirk. He is an unworthy warrior. LOL."
Kruge: "Klingon Bastard. I've had enough of him! Set course for the internet and fire"
Second Klingon: "Sir..."
Kruge: "SHUT UP AND DO IT DAMMIT! I haven't got all day!"

 

[BillofIzar]

Rand: "Happy Birthday, Captain!"
Sulu (os): "Thank you, Commander. No donuts this year, I guess?"
Rand: "Sir?"
Comm Dude (thinking): *snicker* Early morning sanitation duty has its perks....

 

[Brikar99]

Kruge: So? Speak.
Klingon #1: Impressive.
Klingon #2: I do not understand. I see the two girls, and the one cup, and... BY THE HAND OF KAHLESS.

 

[Kirby]

Kruge: You will address me as "Commander Kruge", "My Lord", or even "Sir". I will no longer tolerate being called "Reverand Jim"... Okey doak?

 

[JB2005]

"If my calculations are correct, when we get this bird of prey up to warp 8.8, you're going to see some serious shit"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Torg: "Look at these images! By Kahless' beard, I think Kor got a ridge job!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KRUGE: What does a yellow light mean?

TORG: Slow down.

KRUGE: What...does...a...yellow...light...mean?

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Klingon on right: "Women."
Klingon on Left: "So, who was it last night? The Orion gymnast?"
Klingon on right: "The Chancellor's Daughter?"
Klingon in Middle: "One of those rubber-jointed ladies from the freak shows that like to be handcuffed and thrown around the room by their ponytails, screaming for mercy until they ......"
[Stares from entire bridge]
Klingon in Middle: "What?.. Oops"

 

[Finn]

Guinan: What's with the oversized uniform?

Geordi: Miles sent it over. It's too small for him

Guinan: Is it comfortable?

Geordi: I don't know. The fabric feels nice, but I have the damnest feeling that I'm about to be tortured for some reason.

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: Sensimilla? Is that like synthahol?

GUININ: Sure, why not?

 

[Nerys Myk]

GUININ: It was a gift from my friend Spock.

GEORDI: Ambassador Spock?

GUININ: Carl Spock

DATA: Ah, historical records indicate he was a bad mother....

GUININ: Shut your mouth!

DATA: Query: Why? I am just speaking of Carl.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kruge: "If the weeping of thousands of warriors on this 'internet' are indeed to be believed, this Jei Jei A'brems is a cruel warlord who has sodomized many a childhood. His vigor and iron-fisted rule are to be congratulated."

Rand: "How come I don't get a nameplate?"

Guinan: "The secret ingredient is semen."

Picard: "Status, Mr. Worf."

Worf: "Sir, we still need 50000 more iridium to research the Argo."

Picard: "Keep probing, damnit."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Kruge: Wow, Kirk called me a bastard?! They cut that out on the TV version I had on tape.

Rand: Captain, something has gone terribly wrong... according to sensors we've become trapped in an episode of Voyager.

Data: *Thinking* Must keep eyes down... don't look at the tits... don't want to get in trouble again...

Crusher: And this Commander, is your new diet plan.

Riker: What makes you think I need a diet?

Crusher: My quarters are below yours, and on your wedding night the whole ceiling was shaking up and down like a photon torpedo hit it.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kruge: Cats with INVISIBLE BIKES. This is the power of the Earthmen!

Picard: Worf, you don't even have any ships on here.
Worf, smugly: My fleet is cloaked.
Picard: That isn't how Battleship works!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kruge: "The Earthers' finest warrior and greatest military strategist. I base all my tactics on his honourable example. His name? Leeroy Jenkins. Learn well, men".

 

[Thor Damar]

"My Lord Kruge, you cannot simply change what is written on the interweb. You're not 'the most awesome super badass Klingon who could totally knock out Kirk and all the Gorn, just cos'. There are limits oh dread august one"

"Well, it worked for Dukat, he's the nicest man in the galaxy according to this and the most manly.So shut up and edit by Kahless' beard!"

 

[LeadHead]

Yay! Thanks for the wins!

Kruge: Great Scott!

Klingon Computer: Calling 'Scotty.'

Kruge: That's not what I meant, stop it!

Torg and Maltz were practicing for the Synchronized Facial Hair Touching Competition.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Kruge: Wait... this is a Romulan ship isn't it?!

Maltz: Deleted subplot Sir. Try not to think to hard about it, if we play it cool everyone will just accept the Bird of Prey as a Klingon vessel and the Romulans will just have to come up with some new, slightly less good name for their ships.