Voyager Caption Contest #55: Hot Water Burn Baby~

[Yeoman Randi]

Welcome home fellow Voyagers~ it's time to go to warp, but first, lets celebrate da winnas!

More than a few of you got the same idea for this picture:

It took a while but Ensign Kim finally got promoted.

Two hundred years after being cast adrift in the Delta Quadrant, the sole remaining Voyager crewmate finally makes it back home.

Shades of The Goonies!

Mikey: "It's One-Eyed Willie!"

Couldn't decide on one winner here. I'm sorry, but you guys are just too funny!!

Hugh went undercover in the void hoping to leave the plot holes of "I, Borg" and "Descent" behind him.

This caption was a GREAT LATE entry:

"Colors and whites in the same load? That's the last time YOU'RE doing the laundry!"

Clearly, Janeway's been looking for love in all the wrong places:

Janeway (to self): "This is the last time I'll attend a singles mixer in the Delta Quadrant."

Ah, so this explains how the writers came up with Seven:

Picardo: "We've narrowed the choice for the new character down to two. A former Borg drone in a catsuit, or this".

*pause*

Mulgrew: "You just want to force me into choosing the Borg in the catsuit don't you?"

Picardo: "I'm glad you can be reasoned with".

Had another tie for this picture:

B'Elanna: I'm sure I can fix this.

Janeway: Wait, we all need to stare at it for at least another hour.

And this one:

Be'lanna - Yep, there's your problem, captain. Someone burned out holodeck 2's matrix by creating too many male strippers at once.
Janeway - Very good work, Be'lanna. Now let's erase all records of this incident, and forget this ever happened. If anyone needs me, I'll be investigating this further on holodeck 1.

Facepalm award goes to:

Janeway said she needed a skeleton crew to run the ship.

This week we have a tag team winning the EWWWWWW Award for the best typo ever!

"When the king entered the sacred shrine to plead with the spirits for his son's life, he also brought his fiddlers three, should the spirits request entertainment. When leaving the tomb, he "accidentally" left them inside. Don't forget to put some money in the hat. Oh, and should you find the pipe or the bowel while you're in there, do pick them up for us, please".

Janeway: You did mean to say "the pipe or the bowl" ... didn't you? You didn't. Ew.

And finally, our morning cawfee spew goes to this caption that had me choking:

Sure everyone loved Joe Carey and he would be missed, but on a positive note, it was steak night!

Thanks to everyone who played and CONGRATS to da winnas!


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And now for your captioning delight i leave you with these pictures. Just remember to turn out the light when you're done~

As always, i'll let this brew for 2 weeks. Until then, have fun, set a course for home and engage!

 

[BlobVanDam]

Janeway - I haven't had the heart to tell Mr Kim that it's not a Gameboy.
Paris - Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be moving up the ranks in no time.

Captain Janeway finally decides to bite the bullet and post her dating video to deltadate.com

Doctor - You keep a turd in a jar?
Dejaren - It's all I have left of my human shipmates.
Doctor - Geez, but still, couldn't you find a photo or something instead?

Doctor - Mr Kim, I didn't want to be the one to break it to you, but you realize that's not your kid, right?
Kim - What do you mean Doc? The Captain handed her to me. That's where babies come from, isn't it?
Doctor - First of all, that baby is Ktarian, and second of all, your last physical indicates you're still a virgin.
Kim - You mean the stork doesn't....
Doctor - No.

Tuvix - Don't think of it as cheating on Neelix. Think of it more like having a three way with Neelix and Tuvok.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Janeway: Break it up, you look like a Cadet Review.

Once Janeway destroyed the Caretaker's Array, all "sights" were set on her.

"I'm Leland Orser. Of course i'm going to go crazy."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Voyager: The Love Boat! Starring Kate Mulgrew as Your Ship's Captain!

Tuvix: "Look, I'm just as disappointed as you are that I didn't turn out bifurcated. But you can't spend the rest of your life pouting about it!"

Kim: "Come on, Doc, please! Just let me show him around the ship for a while. He's the only one on board I outrank!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Janeway: "It's the 21st Century, Earth, we have to blend in."

Paris: "But we're standing right next to each other. We can talk to each other you know. We don't have to ... um, test?"

Janeway: "It's called texting. They all do it here. Some people haven't spoken to their loved ones in years."

Kim: "How do you spell, ROFL?"

 

[Finn]

Tuvix: What's wrong, Kes?

Kes: They are going to kick me off the ship and take on some cheap floozy.

Tuvix: At least, they will remember you. It's not like they would remember me on the Voyager forum 15 years from now.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the wins!

Janeway: Don't believe your eyes, Mister Paris. We've only transported a hundred kilometers. We've gone from the middle of nowhere to the edge of nowhere.

Mulgrew: That's right folks. This is a Chakotay episode. Here's the clicker, no one would blame you.

The Doctor: Why is the fish drunk?

Hologram: I poisoned the ships water supply so I had to put the fish in vodka.

The Doctor: Quick Ensign! Get Miral out of here before B'Elanna comes to take the baby home!

Tuvix: I've been having bad dreams where I'll be a weird time traveling alien working with Nazis.

Kes: (thinking) Not the Storm Front dream again.

 

[Timewalker]

Tuvix: Well, what do you think? Am I as good a cook as Neelix?

Kes: Leola root in plomeek soup is... um, indescribable.

 

[Bob Karo]

Kes: Something doesn't feel right with the Captain. I keep getting this sense of violence from her. Sometimes I worry she could really hurt someone. Maybe even kill them. I'm afraid if I bring up some of her more insane decisions, she'll throw me out the shuttle bay or something.

Tuvix: I don't believe that. Kathryn Janeway is no murderer.

Kes mumbles: We'll see how long you last with that attitude...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"We'll be back to Saturday Morning in the Delta Quadrant right after these important messages!"

Leland Orser: "Sure, I always play the crazy nutjob in every show I do. But still I get to nail Jeanne Tripplehorn every night."

 

[Velocity]

Janeway: Mr. Kim doesn't seem too upset about the transporter accident leaving him with 3 arms.
Paris: No, he figures girls will finally notice him.

And movie night begins with Janeway roaring.

 

[Gary7]

Ensign Kim: "We come back home all the way from across the Delta quadrant, and all we get are these commemorative titanium tricorders?"

Janeway: "Mirror, mirror on the bulkhead, who's the captain who looks best right out of bed?"

Doctor: "My my, it looks like you've got a little face hugger gestation going on in there, Dejaren."

Doctor: "Ensign Kim, taking care of the baby means feeding it nourishment and changing its diapers. There was nothing said about sharpening the horn stubble on its forehead."

Kes: "Neither Tuvok nor Neelix could sing. You think combining the two of you together would somehow make it work?

 

[Gepard]

DOCTOR: "Just do what we did with the Borg baby and no one will ask any questions."

 

[Isis]

Kim: "Since it's Father's Day, I thought some babysitting would be in order."

EMH: "Well, that little guy is going to have his hands full keeping you amused all day. I hope his rates are commensurately high."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

EMH: Mr. Kim, 100 credits says that baby makes Lieutenant before you do.

 

[Admiral Shran]

Kim: "Come on, Doc, please! Just let me show him around the ship for a while. He's the only one on board I outrank!"

EMH: "I'm afraid the Captain already named the child as the 'Captain's Assistant.'"
Kim: "GOD-DAMMIT!"
EMH: "Don't feel too bad, Ensign. You still rank the cook."
Kim: "Actually, the Captain just promoted him to 'Ambassador.'"
EMH: "HAHAHAHA! Seriously?"

 

[Finn]

FLASHBACK (about four years after this screenshot was taken)

Tuvok: Most of the borg children has been settling in Cargo Bay 2 nicely. Seven of Nine reported that they are currently regenerating.

Janeway: And the baby?

Harry: Oh um.... I was taking him back to sickbay and I tripped over a dropped combadge. It went through that rift where Naomi and I came from.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Paris: Captain, don't you think eight Tricorders is a bit too many? We only need one.

Janeway: But then how would we get readings of the other Tricorders???

Janeway: All your base are belong to us

Doctor: Mr Kim! Please put the baby back in the nursery!

Kim: Awww! But I'm hungry!

Tuvix: You mean the captain's going to coldly murder me by the end of the episode?

Kes: It's the magic reset button. Get used to it. Bitch

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kes: "I prefer Neevok. He's bifurcated."

 

[Gary7]

Alien: "I wish this Voyager ship would leave our region of space already. I'm getting really sick of seeing comm traffic of this woman every day, with her whiny nasal voice."