I think they were more surprised to find their 72 Virgins pregnant and eating BBQ'd Pork Chops.
Osama Bin Laden is Dead
- Thread starter Small White Car
- Start date
I think they were more surprised to find their 72 Virgins pregnant and eating BBQ'd Pork Chops.
He arrived only to find his 72 Virgins pregnant by American GI's and eating BBQ'd Pork Chops. (Can't get more American than that)
Some entertaining Osama-related tweets seen on Sunday:
@confessions123: Tea Party already denying the kill, demanding Osama’s longform death certificate.
@misterpatches: Yeah, but what about Carmen Sandiego?
@jerslater: Not to take all the credit, but I’ve been saying someone should kill bin Laden for like ten years now.
@BrianLynch: Cause of death: dynamite tied together to look like hot FEMALE terrorist.
@marklisanti: Let this serve as a lesson to future terrorists: When we finally kill you, we will mock your death with ten billion tweets. Not worth it.
@SmarmyJerkface: Man this was a REALLY long season of 24.
@Deadzero: President Obama doesn’t need to say a thing, he should just pull Bin Laden’s head out of a bag and throw it on a table.
@jennamgriffith: CIA just ousted Osama Bin Laden as mayor of Islamabad on @FourSquare
@jimmyfallon: Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around.
@ApocalypseHow: FOXNEWS REPORTS: Obama Administration Kills Homeless Religious Man with Kidney Disease
@natebargatze: It is pretty awkward in my cab right now
@irwinhandleman: President Obama is the worst Muslim sleeper agent I’ve ever seen
@ditzkoff: Weirdly, bin Laden also had a secretary named Hitler who warned him not to go to Pakistan that day.
@MattDentler: I hope the soldier that killed Bin Laden is an openly gay, Jewish woman.
@thesulk: I’m just glad it wasn’t the “there’s an asteroid we can’t stop” speech.
@nealbrennan: The Al-Queda guys are totally gonna have a Big Chill type weekend, I bet.
@astamate: I bet Osama will get the loudest applause during the “In Memoriam” portion of the Al Qaedies this year.
@MrBrandonMarcus: Bin Laden was killed while living in a huge mansion in Pakistan. Why does Obama hate rich people so much?!
@ThrashRuske: U.S terror alert upgraded to “Double Rainbow”.
@dontsitonart: Tonight was the night history was made, and a nation redefined the concept of Too Soon
@caissie: Whoa. That was huge. Guys, let’s not spoil it for the West Coast, though, okay?
@me_irl: Beloved character actor Osama bin Laden, star of TV’s “Fox News”, dies age 54
@confessions123: Tea Party already denying the kill, demanding Osama’s longform death certificate.
@misterpatches: Yeah, but what about Carmen Sandiego?
@jerslater: Not to take all the credit, but I’ve been saying someone should kill bin Laden for like ten years now.
@BrianLynch: Cause of death: dynamite tied together to look like hot FEMALE terrorist.
@marklisanti: Let this serve as a lesson to future terrorists: When we finally kill you, we will mock your death with ten billion tweets. Not worth it.
@SmarmyJerkface: Man this was a REALLY long season of 24.
@Deadzero: President Obama doesn’t need to say a thing, he should just pull Bin Laden’s head out of a bag and throw it on a table.
@jennamgriffith: CIA just ousted Osama Bin Laden as mayor of Islamabad on @FourSquare
@jimmyfallon: Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around.
@ApocalypseHow: FOXNEWS REPORTS: Obama Administration Kills Homeless Religious Man with Kidney Disease
@natebargatze: It is pretty awkward in my cab right now
@irwinhandleman: President Obama is the worst Muslim sleeper agent I’ve ever seen
@ditzkoff: Weirdly, bin Laden also had a secretary named Hitler who warned him not to go to Pakistan that day.
@MattDentler: I hope the soldier that killed Bin Laden is an openly gay, Jewish woman.
@thesulk: I’m just glad it wasn’t the “there’s an asteroid we can’t stop” speech.
@nealbrennan: The Al-Queda guys are totally gonna have a Big Chill type weekend, I bet.
@astamate: I bet Osama will get the loudest applause during the “In Memoriam” portion of the Al Qaedies this year.
@MrBrandonMarcus: Bin Laden was killed while living in a huge mansion in Pakistan. Why does Obama hate rich people so much?!
@ThrashRuske: U.S terror alert upgraded to “Double Rainbow”.
@dontsitonart: Tonight was the night history was made, and a nation redefined the concept of Too Soon
@caissie: Whoa. That was huge. Guys, let’s not spoil it for the West Coast, though, okay?
@me_irl: Beloved character actor Osama bin Laden, star of TV’s “Fox News”, dies age 54
They were also wearing wet T-shirts that read "I Love America" & drinking beer.
Except bird flu never really happened.
re: the 72 virgins... I recall reading somewhere that actual original phrase was miscopied at some point centuries ago, and that the literal "fruits of heaven" or whatever it was *actually* refers to, not virgins, but....
Raisins. (or, given the geography, possibly dates)
It was actually originally intended as a food of the gods, manna, kind of thing, but subsequently got interpreted as women...
I now always have an image of suicide bombers etc turning up in Paradise and being handed a bag of raisins... "don't eat them all at once..."
Raisins. (or, given the geography, possibly dates)
It was actually originally intended as a food of the gods, manna, kind of thing, but subsequently got interpreted as women...
I now always have an image of suicide bombers etc turning up in Paradise and being handed a bag of raisins... "don't eat them all at once..."
I guess a lot of Star Trek fans are among those 72 virgins. 
I hear Family Guy had gamers.
I agree in part that the SEALs who are responsible for this shouldn't be identified, but how are we going to buy them drinks for the rest of their lives if we don't know who they are?
And as a friend of mine on Facebook posted yesterday, "There are two types of President. Those who throw everything we have at them and hope they die, and those who get actionable intelligence and make surgical strikes."
Bush used 9/11 as an excuse to get rid of Saddam Hussein.
Obama used 9/11 as a reason to get rid of Osama bin Laden.
And as a friend of mine on Facebook posted yesterday, "There are two types of President. Those who throw everything we have at them and hope they die, and those who get actionable intelligence and make surgical strikes."
Bush used 9/11 as an excuse to get rid of Saddam Hussein.
Obama used 9/11 as a reason to get rid of Osama bin Laden.
Bin Laden isn't dead. His death was faked, and right now he is tortured in a secret location somewhere in Eastern Europe because he as the leader of Al Qaeda is a much greater source of information than any of his henchmen could have ever been.
I saw it in that one movie.
I saw it in that one movie.
He's actually at George W's Texas ranch doin' a little quail hunting with Dick Cheney
So he's gonna get shot in the face anyway.
If there is any chance they could have taken him alive, they would have. A faked death in that scenario would make perfect sense as news of a captured Bin Laden would Bring out the lunatics and create a media circus around a trial of some kind. Much better in that case to lie about it and do what ever you want with him in secret.
But I think it's more likely he's really dead.
Similar threads
