There was potential in Lazenby, no doubt. It's a shame he destroyed his own career.
Star Wars: Episode 1.5: Moonraker (*)
James Bond.... IN SPACE!
Talk about a drop in quality. What are all the problems with this movie? Let's count them shall we?
Problem #1: Bond
Bond's characterization in this movie is way off. There is absolutely none of the cold, brutal, ruthless Bond anywhere. Whenever he kills somebody he does it because he has to for some reason - whether that be for self-defense or to complete a part of the mission. In any other movie, he would seek revenge for the murder of Corinne. But here, he doesn't even find out that she's dead. On top of that, we're starting to get into the area of the franchise where they appear to be deliberately making no attempt to conceal Bond's identity. Everywhere he goes, everyone instantly knows who he is. And on top of that, Bond is becoming ridiculously intelligent. Seriously, how many languages does this man speak? And how can he know so much about such a rare flower?
Problem #2: Drax
I thought Stromberg was a weak villian. Drax puts him to shame. Others have said that Largo from Thunderball was the worst Bond villian. Well, Largo is light-years ahead of Drax. There is absolutely nothing either meancing or threatening about this character. In fact, there's nothing even remotely interesting about him. Maybe that is because the actor is literally phoning his performance in to the point where it is laughable. Maybe it is because of the writing. I don't know, but whatever the reason, Drax is not a worthy villian for Bond. Hell, I have a hard time believeing that Jaws' girlfriend would have difficulty kicking his ass.
Problem #3: The Story
I commented on how Live and Let Die was clearly cashing in on the blaxploitation genre. Others have talked about how The Man with the Golden Gun uses the Kung-Fu craze and how The Spy Who Loves Me rips off Jaws. But, WOW! - can we say "attempts to cash in on the success of Star Wars"? They're not even trying to hide the fact in this movie. Additionally, while I admit that I haven't read the novels, I do know a little about the plot of the novel Moonraker since I have friends who have read them. All I can say, based on the little I do know about the plot, is that that story sounds much, much more interesting.
Also, who thought that a spy movie would be the perfect chance to showcase a space battle with laser weapons? In a franchise where the only truly unbelieveable thing was Solitaire's quasi-supernatural abilities in Live and Let Die, we now literally have Space Marines, directed enegry weapons, space stations and hand-to-hand space combat. The last movie bit the shark, and this movie jumps it.
Problem #4: The Comedy
Just as they weren't trying to hid the Star Wars influence, they also aren't trying to hid the fact that comedy is taking the lead over seriousness. Humor prevades this entire movie. Every single action sequence has comedic bits intercut with them, jokes are just thrown out for the sake of throwing them out and we even have pigeons doing double-takes for laughs.
Even Jaws doesn't escape the humor. While he was certainly a humorous character in The Spy Who Loved Me, he was also a menacing one as well. Here, he's clearly intended to be the comic relief. What a waste of a great character.Also, while I think that Jaws' romance with his girlfriend was supposed to humorous, it just left me asking "What's the point?".
The Good:
So, with all these major problems, why did I give the movie one star instead of zero? Well, it does have some good bits. 1.) It is good to see the continuing trust between M and Bond when the Minister of Defense instructs M to reassign Bond and instead M sticks with him. 2.) The music is quite good. 3.) Lois Chiles is the most attractive Bond Girl yet.
That's pretty much it.
So, Diamonds are Forever is no longer the worst film thus far.
That's Amore: 28
Bond slept with Corinne Dufour, Manuela, and Holly Goodhead.
Body Count: 143 (+12)
