Modern Day Society- Male Dating Issues

[Jetfire]

@RoJoHen
You just need to date...not hang out or chill...but go on a date with a girl...romantic...no friends.

 

[RoJoHen]

Oddly enough, I tend to get along really well with girls in their low 30s. So hopefully, when I finally reach my 30s, I might actually stand a chance!

 

[RoJoHen]

@RoJoHen
You just need to date...not hang out or chill...but go on a date with a girl...romantic...no friends.

But there aren't any girls. That's my whole point. Any of the ones I'm even slightly interested in are already in serious relationships.

 

[Jetfire]

@RoJoHen
You just need to date...not hang out or chill...but go on a date with a girl...romantic...no friends.

But there aren't any girls. That's my whole point. Any of the ones I'm even slightly interested in are already in serious relationships.

No girls? There are plenty of girls out there...you need to look harder...or use a dating service.

 

[RoJoHen]

I'm not that desperate yet.

 

[Jetfire]

It has nothing to do with being desperate...if you want to find a partner...you do something about it. Unless you don't want to date, be involved in a serious relationship...then just hang out and chill and stuff.

 

[RoJoHen]

Honestly, I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now for fear that it actually works out and it forces me to commit to settling down. I don't want to settle down yet.

 

[Jetfire]

There you go. At least you know what you want...or don't want.

 

[Amaris]

: |

And? Don't just stand there, what? Refute? Ask? Comment?

I'm not sure you know who you're talking to.


I have a bizarre problem with girls. I have a really hard time being attracted to any of them until I've gotten to know them and have become their friend. Sometimes it takes months of knowing someone before I develop an attraction. But of course, by that point, I've entered the "friend zone" and lost my chance. Or they've already started dating someone else. 99% of the girls I'm into are already in committed relationships. Hell, there's a girl right now that I really have a crush on. She's absolutely perfect for me, but she's 8 months pregnant! I've found that most single girls my age are still single for very good reasons.

Ah, I see. Yeah, I believe in the whole "love (or lust) at first sight" concept, where I can be interested and attracted without yet knowing someone. It may not always be looks. In fact, intelligence is my biggest draw, and so listening to her talk about some given subject can really get my interest going.

I do know how you feel, though. Sometimes I fall for someone and she turns out to be pregnant, or married, or both. Or a lesbian (this has happened more than I'd have thought ).

 

[RoJoHen]

My love life would be so much easier if I were gay. Gay guys love me!

 

[Jetfire]

^
Didn't you try Plenty-O-Fish? What happen with that?

 

[RoJoHen]

The majority of the girls I have seen on dating sites are worse than the ones in the real world. Even the ones who seem to have worthwhile personalities are single mothers with babydaddy issues, and that's just not something I want to get involved in.

 

[Jetfire]

Do you not meet hot & single ladies at your job? You are a bartender right?

 

[RoJoHen]

I meet middle-aged business men. Hot girls don't come to my bar.

 

[sidious618]

The majority of the girls I have seen on dating sites are worse than the ones in the real world. Even the ones who seem to have worthwhile personalities are single mothers with babydaddy issues, and that's just not something I want to get involved in.

Yeah, I tried that site and the results were less than worthwhile.

 

[Jetfire]

DAMMIT!

I hope some cute & single gal crosses your path soon.

I was a bartender at a country club and the women there were not single and much older...they still were looking to hook-up.

 

[RoJoHen]

I hope some cute & single gal crosses your path soon.

I'm not holding my breath.

 

[Jetfire]

You need to think positive.

 

[melancholymecha]

the guys from that love shy forum, are they angry b/c they cant get into a relationship or b/c they just cant get sex? What if they met a nice girl whose personality they liked & the girl enjoys being with him but she's asexual or is incapable of sex for medical reasons?
I mean if all they want is to lose their virginity I have a hard time feeling sorry for them.

on the other hand I understand how difficult it can be b/c of the pressure & mentality on our society that if you havent had sex after a certain age there is something wrong with you. And how its even worse if youre a guy.

Imagine how much happier & stress free we'd all be if sex was just another mundane physical functon like coughing or peeing. (And I mean in regard to social aspect. If a guy were to tell his friends that he's never coughed before, while it would be seen as strange, I dont think the guy would be looked down upon as a pathetic loser, know what I mean?)

 

[Amaris]

^ That's an excellent point, and you're right. The social pressure is unreasonably high. Though, for some, losing one's virginity was less about social issues, and more about very strong biological ones. By the time you reach 30 and haven't had sex, and aren't asexual, your thoughts are nearly consumed by it. As we live longer, we can wait to have sex later in life, and our biological clocks are not geared up for that yet. The body still pushes for sex at a much younger age than that, and so with biological and sociological pressures on all sides, it becomes suffocating and difficult to maintain composure after a while.