Modern Day Society- Male Dating Issues

[RoJoHen]

"Anyone can be a father...bet it takes someone special to be a Dad."

If that is what you don't want then so be it...but I never thought it as a big deal.

I am not opposed to getting involved with someone with kids if I know it's going to work out. But I hate the idea of dating a mother, getting to know the kids and having them view me as a father-figure, only for me and woman to break up. That's got to be hard for the children to deal with.

 

[Jetfire]

^That is why I think kids shouldn't be involved until there is at least an engagement...this is the personal life of 2 adults and a lot make the mistake of bringing in children too soon.

 

[RoJoHen]

Well, yeah, but do you do about pre-existing children?

 

[Jetfire]

You don't let them around the person you're dating unless it is briefly. I think some couples jump the gun out of convenience and it is wrong.

 

[RoJoHen]

I have a feeling that's easier said than done. Single parents don't always have the option of not having their kids around.

 

[Jetfire]

I have a feeling that's easier said than done. Single parents don't always have the option of not having their kids around.

That is true. I dated a gal with a kid and she didn't want to introduce me until it was serious...that took all but 2 weeks!? I would have rather waited months.

 

[Listener4]

Of course being a single mom isn't as big as a turn off as say, being a meth addict, but it is a turn off to me.

My behavior with regard to dating can definitely be described as waiting, hoping that something will somehow happen. I've never believed that it would actually work. For years I've existed in a sort of limbo where I'm used to being alone, but at the same time am unhappy because of it, yet I do nothing.

 

[Jetfire]

I don't know what your interests are or what makes you happy...but you have to follow your passion and do things you love & keep in mind what you want...eventually it will lead somewhere...but sitting around alone and doing nothing...won't.

 

[Amaris]

I don't know what your interests are or what makes you happy...but you have to follow your passion and do things you love & keep in mind what you want...eventually it will lead somewhere...but sitting around alone and doing nothing...won't.

I think that's the best point right there. It doesn't matter what you want to do in life, but you have to do it if you want to move forward.

 

[sidious618]

Of course being a single mom isn't as big as a turn off as say, being a meth addict, but it is a turn off to me.

Why you hatin' on the meth addicts? They need love, too!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Of course being a single mom isn't as big as a turn off as say, being a meth addict, but it is a turn off to me.

I always used to say it was a turn off to me as well. Especially since I have maintained I don't want kids.

But now I have met someone who is a single mom (call her 'C') and I really really really like her. So I don't know if I can keep up that philosophy.

Of course it also throws a wrinkle into the situation that C's sister is...my brother's wife. So what do you all think? Should I back off just because of that? Or is it not at all tacky for me to date the sister of my brother's wife?

 

[Kestra]

I almost have to limit myself to fairly young girls, as I don't want to raise another man's child. Indeed she basically has to be a virgin. Part of this is a holdover from my religious upbringing, and part is just my jealous personality.

Everyone has their standards, but you might want to re-examine this a bit and make sure it's coming from a healthy place.

 

[Amaris]

I almost have to limit myself to fairly young girls, as I don't want to raise another man's child. Indeed she basically has to be a virgin. Part of this is a holdover from my religious upbringing, and part is just my jealous personality.

Everyone has their standards, but you might want to re-examine this a bit and make sure it's coming from a healthy place.

Agreed. For a while I had similar standards in regards to potential lovers, that I wanted someone who was a virgin like me, but as I grew older I realized that would be not only unlikely, but also monumentally unfair toward her. Once I realized that, I let that unrealistic and judgmental standard go.

 

[Jetfire]

To quote my favorite show...

I was thinking about love, but what I realized is, there are no words for it, And when you have it you trust it, and you believe in it, Take a chance on it, And you're willing to sacrifice anything to keep it no matter what the cost.

 

[Amaris]

To quote my favorite show...

I was thinking about love, but what I realized is, there are no words for it, And when you have it you trust it, and you believe in it, Take a chance on it, And you're willing to sacrifice anything to keep it no matter what the cost.

Exactly.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ What show is that from?

 

[Amaris]

^ What show is that from?

Smallville.

 

[Jetfire]

^ What show is that from?

Smallville.

Very good.

 

[Amaris]

^ What show is that from?

Smallville.

Very good.

Well, I cheated. Although I really should watch it sometime, as Superman is my favorite comic book character, and I think a show about his life growing up would be good.

 

[Pingfah]

Of course it also throws a wrinkle into the situation that C's sister is...my brother's wife. So what do you all think? Should I back off just because of that? Or is it not at all tacky for me to date the sister of my brother's wife?

That's not tacky at all. Happiness is hard enough for people to find without creating meaningless obstacles to it based on ridiculous social mores. If you were to have a relationship with this woman it should not threaten your brother or his wife, and if it did it would be they who have the problem not you.

I don't know your brother obviously, but if he cares about you I imagine he won't care about this.