Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Never fear! The volunteer fire department is here!

MLB heads immediately to the scene of the disaster. (He hopes that anybody who happens to be watching this, notices that his fire truck is festooned with pinstripes.) Fire hoses are deployed immediately, with strategically lobbed water balloons to follow; there is no damage to anyone's home, but strangely enough, the burned trees - when viewed from a helicopter, if my department had one - seem to resemble crop circles...

 

[Captain Ice]

*Grabs his helmet and walkie-talkie and heads for the fire station where he notes that there's still a truck there with no driver.*

Cool, I get to drive the fire truck

*Jumps in, starts the truck, and heads toward the fire.*

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Looks like I've forgotten to lock the fire station garage door again. This is the third time this month that Freddy here has stolen one of my trucks! I simply MUST hire better security...

Oh, never mind. Hey, Freddy, you want a job? I could use the help around here. The only condition is that you must wear a Yankees cap for one year. All probies in my department must do so.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Still, if you ever catch rumours of valuable artworks rusting in that old dusty basement, while they could be admired by well-paying art lovers, I will be quite pleased to hear it. You will discover that I can be very generous with my friends...

There's no artwork stored in the basement, only books; well, except for that one portrait of me as an old man.

Excellent. Please put my name down on the preorder books.

Done.

I'd also like to place an order for new copies of: Fanny Hill, The Grapes of Wrath, Uncle Tom's Cabin, and The Diary of Anne Frank to replace worn copies. First editions if available too.

First editions, coming up.

OH NO.

THE WILDERNESS IS ON FIRE. OUR HOMES ARE THREATENED.

Uh oh.

* Runs to the basement and returns a minute later with an old book that's been repaired with tape many times. *

* Reads a paragraph from page 867. *

* Watches as a small, dark cloud races in from the West and then seems to hover over the section of burning forest. A sudden torrential rain begins to fall on the fire, while high winds push the fire away from the houses. *

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Never fear! The volunteer fire department is here!

Kreacher starts preparing snacks in case the firefighters are out there a long time.

There's no artwork stored in the basement, only books; well, except for that one portrait of me as an old man.

Sorry, messed up the multi-quote. The second line is from RJ, whose initials, I gather, should really be DG.

 

[Mary Ann]

Sunshine starts weeping with joy

STARshine. Sunshine is the larger of the two nanny goats. I cannot understand why people are continually getting my children's names wrong. They're probably angry with their own parents for giving them common, non-magical names.

"You would not believe what I went through to get this!"

I could, because I saw you. Hmmm...

 

[Cali]

I've got a free slice of pie and cup of coffee at the diner for all the firemen when you're done!

 

[F. King Daniel]

Sunshine starts weeping with joy

STARshine. Sunshine is the larger of the two nanny goats. I cannot understand why people are continually getting my children's names wrong. They're probably angry with their own parents for giving them common, non-magical names.

"You would not believe what I went through to get this!"

I could, because I saw you. Hmmm...

Shhh! Tell no one! What happened about an hour after I got the black eye, and what I had to do to get the ball gag, is our dirty secret!


BTW, how'd everyone enjoy their first quiet night on Misc Street? (well, quieter - there's still the hours of rythmic thumping)

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I've got a free slice of pie and cup of coffee at the diner for all the firemen when you're done!

Yum yum! Always have time for pie...

 

[Jenee]

Oh Daniel ..., I don't want to be a nag or anything ..., but did you get some pasteries baked this morning?

 

[Mary Ann]

I've got a free slice of pie and cup of coffee at the diner for all the firemen when you're done!

Wanton woman.

(Says she who has 6 kids from 6 different fathers, some of whose names she can't quite remember)

 

[Miss Chicken]

^^^ Did you even bother to ask them what their names were in the first place?

 

[Jenee]

I've got a free slice of pie and cup of coffee at the diner for all the firemen when you're done!

Wanton woman.

(Says she who has 6 kids from 6 different fathers, some of whose names she can't quite remember)

How many sex goddesses does this block have?

 

[Mary Ann]

^^^ Did you even bother to ask them what their names were in the first place?

Picky, picky. We were At One with Mother Nature during the Coupling. In such instances names are unimportant.

That, and I was stoned out of my mind all six times.

I've got a free slice of pie and cup of coffee at the diner for all the firemen when you're done!

Wanton woman.

(Says she who has 6 kids from 6 different fathers, some of whose names she can't quite remember)

How many sex goddesses does this block have?

Not enough. Where is everyone else? Are we going to have to kidnap some folk in order to populate the rest of the street?

 

[Jenee]

I know Yeoman Randi and AstroSmurf have a baby on the way. I tried to talk them into moving into the neighborhood - it's a great place to raise a kid - but, haven't seen hide nor hair of either ...

 

[iguana_tonante]

I shall open a delicatessen and Italian grocery store then. We have all the best deli foods there are as well as Italian delicacies. Delivery is available, though we are currently looking for a delivery person.

Just pay no mind to the extra delivery truck arriving once or twice a week and the gentlemen in suits using the back door...

Given that I get some of those Italian deli (and they are good), we need to work together, compare.

There's no artwork stored in the basement, only books; well, except for that one portrait of me as an old man.

I don't think I'm interested. Who would want that on their bedroom's wall?

 

[RJDiogenes]

There's no artwork stored in the basement, only books; well, except for that one portrait of me as an old man.

Sorry, messed up the multi-quote. The second line is from RJ, whose initials, I gather, should really be DG.

I've got a free slice of pie and cup of coffee at the diner for all the firemen when you're done!

Does that include me?

^^^ Did you even bother to ask them what their names were in the first place?

In my case, she did not.

There's no artwork stored in the basement, only books; well, except for that one portrait of me as an old man.

I don't think I'm interested. Who would want that on their bedroom's wall?

Several of Hugh Hefner's ex-wives.

 

[Mary Ann]

^Ah, that's why you look vaguely familiar! I wonder whose father you are? I'd better find out; I could do with some more child support. No one appreciates good Happy Cigarettes nowadays, so money's been tight.

 

[RJDiogenes]

It's probably the one with the squishy purple head. That's usually how they turn out.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Oh Daniel ..., I don't want to be a nag or anything ..., but did you get some pasteries baked this morning?

I did. They were really, really good. (burp)

Ooooh, you want me to bake for your customers? I see. I'll give that a go tommorow.