Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera
- Thread starter Miss Chicken
- Start date
Jenee looks around at the frightening scene of mass hysteria, whirling volcanic ash and the blazing heat. Thinking she's just in an alternate universe Miscellaneous Street, she heads for the notable building at the end of the street that looks like it might be this reality's version of RJ's bookstore.
... Well, this doesn't exactly look like a bookstore - lots of "potions" and odd knick knacks, tho. And, dude behind "the counter" (which isn't really a counter at all, but a table where it looks like business transactions would take place) doesn't exactly look like RJ - maybe his uncle works for him in this reality.
Anyway, Jenee marches up to him and demands he send her back. Dude looks perplexed - but only for a second as he seems to feel his life is in immediate danger - then continues shoving scrolls and knick knacks into a suspicious looking box.
Suddenly, the door busts open and some dude who might as well be Captain Ice's long lost brother runs/stumbles in like Kramer and drops a bunch of stuff into the same box.
"That's all I risked, we've got to go now!"
They both jump into the box and try to close the lid, but Jenee has seen this trick before and jumps in "before the lock".
Anyway, Jenee marches up to him and demands he send her back. Dude looks perplexed - but only for a second as he seems to feel his life is in immediate danger - then continues shoving scrolls and knick knacks into a suspicious looking box.
Suddenly, the door busts open and some dude who might as well be Captain Ice's long lost brother runs/stumbles in like Kramer and drops a bunch of stuff into the same box.
"That's all I risked, we've got to go now!"
They both jump into the box and try to close the lid, but Jenee has seen this trick before and jumps in "before the lock".
* As Ice slowly reads through the manual-- it is in Japanese, after all-- RJD thinks things over. *
"If Jenee is in Pompeii at the time of the eruption, we may be in luck. My ancestor, Diogenes Libris of Herculaneum, had just opened a branch of his Emporium of Forbidden Scrolls there in 78 AD. I'll have to dig out my crystal ball and see if I can make contact with him."
* He thinks some more. *
"As far as Daniel goes, we may be able to trace his whereabouts by divining the origin point of that guy in the tree and then using those coordinates plus the coordinates of the tree to calculate the hypoteneuse of the triangle formed by the three locations. For that, I'll need an eye of newt and a slide rule. Help me get this guy down, will you?"
"If Jenee is in Pompeii at the time of the eruption, we may be in luck. My ancestor, Diogenes Libris of Herculaneum, had just opened a branch of his Emporium of Forbidden Scrolls there in 78 AD. I'll have to dig out my crystal ball and see if I can make contact with him."
* He thinks some more. *
"As far as Daniel goes, we may be able to trace his whereabouts by divining the origin point of that guy in the tree and then using those coordinates plus the coordinates of the tree to calculate the hypoteneuse of the triangle formed by the three locations. For that, I'll need an eye of newt and a slide rule. Help me get this guy down, will you?"
While aimlessly walking through the icy nothingness, Daniel hears a dull roar. What's that in the distance, getting closer?
A monster!
Daniel runs, but his top speed is no match for the giant hairy quadruped. But just as he's about to be eaten, another, far bigger and more fearsome monster bursts from under the ice and effortlessly kills the first monster. Then it turns toward Daniel
.
After an even more hectic chase, involving a fall down an icy cliff, an old man appears and directs Daniel to a nearby cave
Inside the cave, and safe from the monster, the grey-haired old man introduces himself to Daniel...
"I... am Soda."
A monster!
Daniel runs, but his top speed is no match for the giant hairy quadruped. But just as he's about to be eaten, another, far bigger and more fearsome monster bursts from under the ice and effortlessly kills the first monster. Then it turns toward Daniel
.After an even more hectic chase, involving a fall down an icy cliff, an old man appears and directs Daniel to a nearby cave
Inside the cave, and safe from the monster, the grey-haired old man introduces himself to Daniel...
"I... am Soda."
Daniel and adult Soda run into the cave just in time to see Diogenes Libris, Dux Glacies and Jenee climb out of a familiar looking box. Daniel groans, then sees Jenee and runs to her.
Daniel: "I knew you'd come."
Jenee: "Of course I did."
Dux Glacies "How did she get control of the box?"
Diogenes Libris: "I'm guessing something to do with love and desire and ... let me check my scrolls."
Diogenes Libris and Dux Glacies climb back in the box, give each other a look, then quietly begin to close the lid, but Soda is smarter than they think. He grabs Daniel and Jenee and pushes them into the box before it disapears again.
Daniel: "I knew you'd come."
Jenee: "Of course I did."
Dux Glacies "How did she get control of the box?"
Diogenes Libris: "I'm guessing something to do with love and desire and ... let me check my scrolls."
Diogenes Libris and Dux Glacies climb back in the box, give each other a look, then quietly begin to close the lid, but Soda is smarter than they think. He grabs Daniel and Jenee and pushes them into the box before it disapears again.
Jenee and Daniel pop out the box in the middle of a tornado and are immediately sent flying. The box flips over in the wind, preventing anyone else from coming through.
Holding on to each other, and what's left of Hippy Lady's front gate, for their lives, Daniel and Jenee wait until the eye of the hurricane passes over. When it does, they sprint to the coffee shop and take shelter in the basement.
"Hi" says Soda, barely looking up from his lego and totally oblivious to all that's transpired.
Daniel waits out the storm trying to decide if the Old Soda he saw was the Soda or one from an alternative future.
Holding on to each other, and what's left of Hippy Lady's front gate, for their lives, Daniel and Jenee wait until the eye of the hurricane passes over. When it does, they sprint to the coffee shop and take shelter in the basement.
"Hi" says Soda, barely looking up from his lego and totally oblivious to all that's transpired.
Daniel waits out the storm trying to decide if the Old Soda he saw was the Soda or one from an alternative future.
*As Ice attempts to decipher the manual, two vaguely middle eastern looking men walk up to Ice and RJD*
Diogenes Libris speaks to Ice and RJD, but neither of them can understand him. RJD introduces himself and Ice, yet the two newcomers cannot understand him.
All four men look at each other and all ask "Why does he look like me, yet he cannot understand what I say?"
Diogenes Libris speaks to Ice and RJD, but neither of them can understand him. RJD introduces himself and Ice, yet the two newcomers cannot understand him.
All four men look at each other and all ask "Why does he look like me, yet he cannot understand what I say?"
"Well, I have a school of Babelfish in the tropical aquarium back at the Bookstore. But we should do something about the guy in the tree, whoever he is."
The storm passes, and Daniel heads outside to survey the damage. Misc Street has been trashed. Fences are down, trees are down, power lines are down and an unoccupied house has been bisected by someone's car.
The upstairs window didn't hold, and the bedroom's been ruined. There are also two corpses inside.
"These guys clearly died in the hurricane. No need for an autopsy."
Soda charges into the street and immediately starts climbing through the branches of a horizontal tree.
The upstairs window didn't hold, and the bedroom's been ruined. There are also two corpses inside.
"These guys clearly died in the hurricane. No need for an autopsy."
Soda charges into the street and immediately starts climbing through the branches of a horizontal tree.
Surveying the destruction around the coffee shop, Daniel suddenly remembers that he won the lotto many pages back and begins laughing maniacally.
"Everything's gonna be okay! I'll even pay for Hippy Lady's new fence!"
"Everything's gonna be okay! I'll even pay for Hippy Lady's new fence!"
"Misbewhatten? Nu-uh. That lotto ticket that me and Soda... found... is the best thing that ever happened to us!" says Daniel, a manic glint in his eye. "We'll rebuild! Stronger than ever! I defeated time itself and I'll defeat this! I'll defeat this and everything else that comes up! Nothing can stop me!!"
Jenee gives Daniel The Look. And holds it. 30 seconds later, Daniel breaks.
"Actually... maybe we should give MLB his money. Peace and quiet would be really nice."
Jenee gives Daniel The Look. And holds it. 30 seconds later, Daniel breaks.
"Actually... maybe we should give MLB his money. Peace and quiet would be really nice."
MLB is very happy that his money was returned to him. He decides to use part of it to help rebuild the coffee shop, though. Because he is even happier to learn that he actually has friends here. Besides, O-Dog loves the biscuits. 
[Special guest narrator, Morgan Freeman:]
And with that, peace finally descended upon Misc Street. Reconstruction after the hurricane went swiftly, and the various Misc Street buisnesses prospered like never before.
Everyone (Daniel) learned the valuable lesson that stealing will only cause an unending downfall of karmic shit upon your entire street until you're made to 'fess up by your significant other.
They all lived happily ever after...
(*cue cheesy music and credits*)
And with that, peace finally descended upon Misc Street. Reconstruction after the hurricane went swiftly, and the various Misc Street buisnesses prospered like never before.
Everyone (Daniel) learned the valuable lesson that stealing will only cause an unending downfall of karmic shit upon your entire street until you're made to 'fess up by your significant other.
They all lived happily ever after...
(*cue cheesy music and credits*)
^^ I'm so glad I pulled him out of that tree and nursed him back to health.
