TOS Caption Contest #175: Sakes Alive, It's 175!

[Rat Boy]

Enough with the emotional stuff, because it's time for another caption contest. First, as always, let's sit in judgment over...

For what every high schooler fears at this time of the year, our winner is...

ANAN 7: And just why do you think you deserve to be admitted to this community college, young man?

And for friendly cast rivalries in the pre-Twitter days, our winner is...

Shatner: "Fan mail arrived, didn't it."

Nimoy: "You betcha, Mr. Overrated."

For too much information, our winner is...

Uhura: I am receiving whale songs.
McCoy: Lieutenant, do you have to tell everybody about your sex life.

And for being unable to hear him over the sound of how awesome he is, our Photoshop winner is...

"Mirror, Mirror" I'm the awesomeist one of all!

(Who needs Spock!)

Congratulations to the winners! First up this week, we have Sulu, Bailey, and Uhura getting a little sick of the captain continuing to use staff meetings for his Priceline.com sales pitch. Next, we have Kirk politely reminding Chekov not to call him when he's alone with the new issue of Playboy. Third, we have Scotty struggling to keep his bairns in order. Finally, to commemorate the TOS Caption Contest's latest milestone, we have the triumphant return of...Running Spock! Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "And to promote balance on the ship, some of you will now be forced to wear red."

Uhura: "Crap."

Kirk: "One of these days I'll last longer than ten seconds on Chat Roulette before getting nexted."

Scotty: "It'd be easier to find the bloody problem if this damn thing had labels on it."

Nimoy: "Crap, Fringe fanatics."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Sushi chef (OS): "The specialty for today is whale anus! Who's hungry?"

Kirk: "Alright, I'll activate the video pickup. Just give me a second first to assume a more manly sitting position."

Scotty: "Engineering to Bridge! According to my display, there are still plenty of parking spots available on Level Two!"

Crewman (OS): "Your mother? Last I saw her, she was showing Dr. McCoy some of your old baby pictures. Mr. Spock...Mr. Spock?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "If we can hit that bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards, checkmate!"

Kirk: "Chekov, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men."

Scotty: "Use a brush, you dunderhead! And mix these mixed nuts. I see two almonds touching!"

Spock: "WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

You recycle the image, I'll recycle my caption

Spock: "Meep Meep!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Friends, help! A guinea pig tricked me!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Scott: "Wait ta minute ... this in't ah bloody Etch A Sketch after all..."

Kirk (off screen): "What do you all have against red shirts anyway?"

TV: "... and stay tuned for another riviting episode of: "All My Circuits"..."

Shatner: "Needs more ... Shatner."

 

[jep]

Scott: "Scott to bridge, Scott to bridge, emergency!!!"

Kirk: "Kirk here, what's wrong Scottie?"

Scott: "I've got a Red Shirt on Captain!!! Please, you've gotta help me!!! PLEASE!!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!!!!"



.

 

[jep]

Attention K-Mart shoppers. For the next five minutes we're having a half-price sale on ALL of our men's underwear with bifurcated crotches."



.

 

[M'Sharak]

As the captain's briefing drones on...

Sulu (thinking): Seen it.
Bailey (thinking): Heard it.
Uhura (thinking): Hated it.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Arrrrrr!!!!"



(Yeah... that's it. I had a good caption, but by the time I finished the 'shopping, I forgot what it was.

I blame it on the alcohol.)



.

 

[Rat Boy]

All right, time to dust off the old non-Photoshop entries:

Upon hearing the latest free agency moves, Spock rushed to update his fantasy football draft order.

Vulcans take leaving their irons on very seriously.


Wow, those were the only non Photoshopped entries I did in that contest.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Uhura: Right nut.
Sulu: Left nut.
Bailey: Why I'm I always the penis in-between?!

Kirk: Fuck Sulu — he still hasn't added me to his Facebook.

Scotty: What the hell do these blinking lights mean?!

Spock: Doctor Who is on!

 

[T'Girl]

As the captain's briefing drones on...

Sulu (thinking): Seen it.
Bailey (thinking): Heard it.
Uhura (thinking): Hated it.

Next Commander Spock continues the briefing.

Sulu (thinking): Done him.
Bailey (thinking): Won't do him.
Uhura (thinking): Two huh.

Kirk: "Thank you for the update ... so Yeoman Rand, what color panties are you wearing ."

Scotty: "Be easier to stop this explosion if the bloody console had more that twelve switches."

Engineer: "My new communicator has a full qwerty keyboard, would you like to borrow ... "

Scotty: "Would you like to take a ride on me chanter, you bloody twit."

After his tragic landing party accident, Mr Spock was last seen
hopping down the corridor towards the ship's annual Ass Kicking Contest.

 

[jep]

McCoy, off screen: "Run, you green blooded hob-goblin, I've got $500 credits riding on you!!! RUNNNN!!!!!"




.

 

[jep]

(Over the PA):

See chameleon,

Lying there in the sun,

All things to everyone,

Run, runaway.




.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Okay, who farted?

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Yeah, it took me a long time to get here. Say, this is a nice computer. Is it yours or your parents?"

Hansen: "Ahem. "



.

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[jep]

Kirk (Off screen): "The Klingons are getting away!! I need more speed Scottie!!"

Scott: "I'm sorry Captain, Mister Nibbles just can't run any faster!"



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