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TOS Caption Contest #174: Impaired Judgment

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Gay marriage and polygamy were the rule on Eminiar Seven.



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KIRK: Bones?
BONES: (O.C.): It's the Happy Helmet Hair! And this is the remote control.
KIRK: Why, you sick little monkey. I oughta--
<BZZZZT>
SPOCK: Soooo......Happy.....ironing....for....Mc...Coy!!!


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UHURA: Spock! Mister... Oh, Doctor, I've just seen him!
MCCOY: Of course you have, Uhura. We would all like to.
UHURA: Believe me, I did see him. I did. Spock! Mister Spock!
MCCOY:
We're going to Sickbay. 

UHURA: Doctor. Doctor, I'm not going mad. I did...I did talk to Dr. King! 

(she faints)
 
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Spock why so happy?

The fine print states if an erection lasts for more than 4 hours please
seek medical attention, in my case I can double that time!
 
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Spock: "He killed that bitch Dana!!! He's gone rogue!!! Jack is BACK baby!!!!



.
 
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Spock: "Uhura made the top five of Maxim's Sexiest Women! I'm the luckiest Vulcan in the universe!"

Kirk: *sigh* "Wrong universe, you idiot!"
 
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Anan 7: " Ignore the man doing Coke in the background, this is a serious planet dude!..................( All) .Bwah hah hah!

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KIRK: "S'matter Spock?"
Spock:" Finally Jim...a caption with no reference to my double ended dip-stick!"
KIRK: "we-ell....."
Spock: "Oh Crap!"


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UHURA: Kiss me Doctor, like I've never been kissed before...
MCCOY: Well...you'll have to give me a week on the ships computer to figure something out but I'll get back to you on that!
 
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McCoy: "Woman, are you mad? You've got to stop ripping the artwork off our walls and making caftans out of it!"
 
Wait a minute. I thought it was from The Caine Mutiny.
Dunno what happened to my link, but it's from Mister Roberts. Here's a video of the final scene with the second quote. *DON'T WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE!!!* Great movie, BTW!
Actually, it's Jack Lemmon's character Ens Pulver that has the line.
I was referring to the first quote, the one that the Captain (Cagney) delivers. I couldn't find a video of that one, though.
 
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Uhura: I've seen it...I've seen it...
McCoy: What in blazes are you going on about?!
Uhura: Spock's dick—in all it's split, pointy glory.
 
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DAMMIT, Doctor...listen to me!!!

THE BIRD...

THE...THE BIRD...

The Captain appeared to me and told me it's THE WORD!!!


(*Faints*)
 
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WORST comet and UFO cult in the history of southern California.


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SPOCK: The library computer records WERE right, Jim...

I couldn't believe it wasn't butter!!!
 
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Kirk: "That's amazing, what did you say you used?"

Spock: "Crest Whitestrips. Advanced."
 
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ANAN 7: And just why do you think you deserve to be admitted to this community college, young man?
 
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Anan 7: "Mr. Abrams, we called you in here to explain to us what the hell happened on LOST last night."

JJ Abrams: "Didn't you watch it?"

Anan 7: "Of course we watched it! We still want to know what happened!"
 
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Anan 7: "Christ, Vendikar sunk our battleship. All right, send another couple thousand into the booth."
 
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Spock: "Jim, we did it!!!!"

Kirk: "Uh... did what?"

Spock: "We slipped the defectors out of the country, AND we framed General Toscovich to look as if he helped them escape!!!"

Kirk: "Ummm...I believe you have the wrong Jim, Mr. Spock."



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