Facts About Captain Robau

[Plecostomus]

The Captain can't be bothered with Potty-Mouthed, Bottom-Feeders who have Janeway Fetishes.
(He does suggest you chew on some ORBIT though)

'Sides, eating brain-pained, TBB'S-'ers just gives the Captain Indigestion!
You Don't Wanna Meet The Captain when He's got Indigestion!

The Captain also cares not a wit if you go worship with the Mormon's.

You MF-Ass is safe for the time being.

If he's so bad-ass why does he send YOU to deliver the message, why doesn't he deliver it in person?

It's because HE OWES ME MONEY, that's why. I am the only thing Robau fears: A DEBT COLLECTOR. *loads shotgun*

I am The Captains' Official Cabana-boy/Yeoman, it therefore falls upon me to do all of the menial labors that are beneath The Captains' station.

If He were to even care to deliver the message to you personally, a migraine would be the least of your troubles!

And recently I became the only thing a Debt Collector fears... An IRS AGENT.

Actually Debt Collector is just my cover *unzip's costume* I am really a telepathic time-traveling Jewish lawyer. (sinister music)

 

[ITL]

Oy!

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau shaves his head so he can use the rays of the sun to blind his enemies.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

If he's so bad-ass why does he send YOU to deliver the message, why doesn't he deliver it in person?

It's because HE OWES ME MONEY, that's why. I am the only thing Robau fears: A DEBT COLLECTOR. *loads shotgun*

I am The Captains' Official Cabana-boy/Yeoman, it therefore falls upon me to do all of the menial labors that are beneath The Captains' station.

If He were to even care to deliver the message to you personally, a migraine would be the least of your troubles!

And recently I became the only thing a Debt Collector fears... An IRS AGENT.

Actually Debt Collector is just my cover *unzip's costume* I am really a telepathic time-traveling Jewish lawyer. (sinister music)

Unfortunately for you Captain Robau is the mortal weakness of telepathic time-traveling Jewish lawyers

 

[Plecostomus]

I am The Captains' Official Cabana-boy/Yeoman, it therefore falls upon me to do all of the menial labors that are beneath The Captains' station.

If He were to even care to deliver the message to you personally, a migraine would be the least of your troubles!

And recently I became the only thing a Debt Collector fears... An IRS AGENT.

Actually Debt Collector is just my cover *unzip's costume* I am really a telepathic time-traveling Jewish lawyer. (sinister music)

Unfortunately for you Captain Robau is the mortal weakness of telepathic time-traveling Jewish lawyers

Incorrect, for us to have a mortal weakness we'd have to actually be... well you know... alive.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Actually Debt Collector is just my cover *unzip's costume* I am really a telepathic time-traveling Jewish lawyer. (sinister music)

Unfortunately for you Captain Robau is the mortal weakness of telepathic time-traveling Jewish lawyers

Incorrect, for us to have a mortal weakness we'd have to actually be... well you know... alive.

Captain Robau can destroy every atom of your body causing you to spontaniously nuclearly explode taking 100 miles with you. I'm pretty sure your screwed.

 

[Plecostomus]

Unfortunately for you Captain Robau is the mortal weakness of telepathic time-traveling Jewish lawyers

Incorrect, for us to have a mortal weakness we'd have to actually be... well you know... alive.

Captain Robau can destroy every atom of your body causing you to spontaniously nuclearly explode taking 100 miles with you. I'm pretty sure your screwed.

Disagree with you because I'm still here posting, and Captain Robau hasn't shown himself yet. If he was such a bad-ass he'd appear, vanquish me, and fly home on a Fender Stratocaster power-chord.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau is the captain of the Kelvin because RULER OF THE COSMOS was temporarily unavailable.

 

[Plecostomus]

Captain Robau is the Captain of the Kelvin because his candy-ass didn't rate a proper canon ship, ya know without the 0 in front of the registry and with two nacelles

 

[cooleddie74]

^
Captain Robau is angry with your assertion. Prepare for a visit from him tonight. In your sleep.

 

[Plecostomus]

^
Captain Robau is angry with your assertion. Prepare for a visit from him tonight. In your sleep.

Sleep is for the weak, I thrive on a diet of neutrinos, sushi and burnt water.

Unlike that candy-ass girly-girl Robau, who eats "souls." Pff. That's like bragging about eating Subway every day for a year. The sandwich shop not the Underground.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau INVENTED the neutrino.


As well as jazz hands.

 

[Plecostomus]

Is that what you kids call it now? In my day we called it "wanking" but anyway.

Captain Robau isn't bad-ass enough to create sub-atomic particles, maybe dust particles but that's about it.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Captain Robau is so badass that he doesn't need to flap his gums about how badass he is.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau will be giving Plecostomus a lump of radioactive neutrinos in his stocking next Christmas.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau is so badass he will live long after the universe ends.

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Robau deniers are on par with Flat Earthers.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau deniers are on par with Flat Earthers.

But will die more horribly and painfully as they are torn apart by rabid ducks.

 

[cooleddie74]

When the universe ends, only two things will remain: dark matter. And Captain Robau.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

When the universe ends, only two things will remain: dark matter. And Captain Robau.

And Captain Robau will probably make the dark matter to dissapate.