TOS Caption Contest #126 - Propped Up
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McCoy: "You sure you want the tattoo to say 'Father'?"
Spock: "You sure you want the tuna salad? I'll buy."
Uhura: "Then I'll have the lobster. <turns, ignores him>"
Spock, to himself: "Figures."
McCoy: "... are some restrictions. Have you given blood within sixty days? Gotten a tattoo within a year? Been on shore leave with Sulu?"
Darnell: "In what time frame?"
McCoy: "Ever."
McCoy: "Now if you'll excuse us, Crewman, Captain Kirk has a little appointment with several hundred nude jumping jacks ..."
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McCoy: No, son. I don't really want to play rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.
McCoy: "Good. Sleeping like a baby. Now nurse, dip his hand in the warm water. Call me illogical, you green blooded son of a bitch. This'll teach ya."
Spock: "Lieutenant, might I point out that, should you choose to continue sitting in that position, you will have two more cheeks to powder and twice as much hair to comb."
Crewman: "....then I sucker punched him in the gut, took his lunch money, and ran."
McCoy: "Son, I'm not sure how to put this, so lets just say you don't have issues, you've got a freakin subsciption."
Chapel: "Doctor, isn't that..."
McCoy: "Your pet gerbil? Yes. I believe you owe Mr. Sulu an apology."
"Carpal tunnel never completely clears up, Crewman.
My suggestion? Try smacking it against a pillow for a while. Same result. Different sensation."
SPOCK:"This time, try not to leave a wet spot, Lieutenant.
If Mister Chekov slips and falls again, we'll have a lawsuit on our hands."
McCOY:"Dammit, Spock!!
Holographic recreations of the life of Richard Gere are going to get you KILLED sooner or later, you green-blooded idiot!!!"
"Run along, son.
And next time...TRY not to endure an entire Traci Lords film festival. I can only fix SO much."
Vulcan ears are hypersensitive.
Especially to women singing hip-hop in a shrill pitch.
Uhura: I've got an inch so far up... Ooooo!
Spock: As the Earth saying goes, Miss Uhura, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
McCoy: "Just put on that shirt that's hanging over there, son."
Crewman: "But, Doc, may arm is killing me! How's a shirt going to help?"
McCoy: "Trust me, son, you put on that red shirt and pretty soon you won't be feeling any more pain..."
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McCoy: Yes, that's right, crewman--just like that. Take that little blue
pill I gave you and you'll be as hard as Rigellian tritanium during an ion storm. And tell the missus I said "hi".
Spock: Would you mind closing your legs, Miss Uhura? The Denebian stink
weasels in the science lab on C deck are complaining that you're upsetting the balance of nature.
McCoy: Well, I'll be damned if I can find anything stuck "way up there", Spock.
Spock: And you would be correct, Doctor. My apologies. Could you check
again? Please......?
Chapel: *Giggles* Uranus is a planet--and it's real big.
Spock: "So I assume preparations A thru G were unsuccessful Lieutenant?"
Bones: "No son, I don't have carpal tunnel syndrome like you. I'm what they call a switch hitter."
Sorry son, you were supposed to snatch a pebble from the Captain's hand. Not his left testicle.
The classic "Transmitting Through a Gaseous Nebula" bit never failed to satisfy.
I agreed to shave a bramblepatch, Spock; not the whole jungle.
Spock: Miss Uhura, if you would please cross your legs. Vulcan noses are quite sensitive to smell and, right now, it smells like a fish sauce factory in here.
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