Trek XI Caption Contest #3 Then and Now

[Rat Boy]

Another week gone by and another contest done. First, let's of course take care of...

For our first picture of Eric Bana wondering if he'll be replaced by Ed Norton in Star Trek XII, our winner is...

Mrs. Nero (off screen): "You make sure you put that seat down when you're finished mister!"

Nero: "Yes dear"

For the picture of Kirk cheating on the Scaling of Mt. Everest Scenario:

Kirk: I've gotta talk with Scottie about the "down" button on that turbolift...

And a Photoshop award to commemorate the arrival of everyone's favorite fish-looking coffee asswipe:

GRIGNAK: No, Chekov is canon forbidden!

Congratulations, and here's the list of winners from both contests:

M'Sharak - 1
Herkimer Jitty - 1
seigezunt - 1
Amasov - 1
26138 - 1
jptrekker - 1
Kirby - 1
Alpha_Geek - 1
Nerys Myk - 1


Now, on to this week. Our first picture, albeit small, shows young Bones and Kirk going...somewhere. Judging by the look on McCoy's face, it obviously isn't Risa. Second is the now-famous picture of Chris Pine in the revised captain's chair, with Karl Urban wondering what the fuss was about the floor. Happy captioning:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Our first assignment in space. Hot diggity damn!"

Kirk: "Don't get too excited, Bones. Look at the shirts we're wearing."

McCoy wondered if he should warn Kirk that his fly was open.

 

[T'Aerwynd]

McCoy: Hot damn! They're sending us out in THAT?? Sweet!
Kirk leans over: Mmm ... don't think so, Bones. Looks like we're getting the little dinghy there in the background.

 

[Samurai8472]

McCoy-MYGOD..........its full of stars!

or

Kirk- They say that on the real Archer it wasn't that big. He just wanted it enlarged on the statue.

 

[Rat Boy]

Assistant: "Star Trek Captain Kirk auditions, take one!"

J.J. Abrams: "Action!"

Chris Pine: "The line must be drawn hee-yah!"

J.J. Abrams: "Wrong captain."

Chris Pine: "Whoops, sorry. Let me try that again...'You betrayed your uniform!'"

J.J. Abrams: "Wrong one again, Chris."

Chris Pine: "All right, how about, 'There's coffee in that nebula?' How about I go on a rant about a gazelle?"

J.J. Abrams (thinking): Well, he's still better than Shatner.

 

[Sector 7]

McCoy: She's beautiful!

Kirk: It's just the Statue of Liberty. You're acting like a tourist.

KIRK: Hostess! Where's my mocha latte?!

 

[Zachary Smith]

Woman at the Hostess Podium: "Captain, there's a call for you on line two. It sounds important. The gentleman says his name is "Denny Crane".

"Kirk": *thinking* Oh . . . crap . . . I've been expecting this . . .

 

[E-Blonde]

Kirk: Honorable Horse to the Silver General.
McCoy <to himself>: Dammit Jim!

Kirk and McCoy take on professor Kobayashi in a game of Shogi while the professor's Maru scenario is loaded into the simulator.​

 

[Brikar99]

Pine: No, Karl, no... you've got to purse your lips more. Like this. Moooooooooooooo

 

[E-Blonde]

Kirk: I'll have bangers and mash and a black and tan.
McCoy <to himself>: Dammit Jim!

McCoy hates being cooped up with Kirk on the bridge when he eats like that.​

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Yeoman: Captain, there's an incoming text message from some lunatic on the Trekbbs.
Kirk:What's it say?
Yeoman: "...you are in violation of canon."
Kirk: Mr. Sulu, fire all phasers!

 

[Sector 7]

Yeoman: Captain, there's an incoming text message from some lunatic on the Trekbbs.
Kirk:What's it say?
Yeoman: "...you are in violation of canon."
Kirk: Mr. Sulu, fire all phasers!

 

[ManOnTheWave]

Do you smell pot?

McCoy: It's so cute the way David acts like his Dad when he's in his chair.

Sulu: I hate kids.

 

[E-Blonde]

Kirk: Haven't you seen a teat before?
McCoy: Not one this big.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Bones, there's no need for you to look that serious... this is the original Trek not Next Generation.

 

[Samurai8472]

INT—BRIDGE (OF Enterprise)
Kirk enters.

UHURA
I'm picking up a strange energy anomaly, Captain. It appears the singularity is about to explode.
[Kirk takes the captain's chair with overly dramatic confidence and poses with one arm back on the armrest and the other leaning forward, elbow on his knee. The chair swivels.]
SPOCK
Weapons are at maximum.

McCoy
Damn it, Kirk Solar flare. We've got a shock wave headed straight for us.
[McCoy turns back to his viewer.]
KIRK
Can you reverse the…polarity?

UHURA
(breathlessly)
I'll do my best.

KIRK MITCHELL
Engine room. Take us out of here…now.

SCOTTY
I'm giving it all I've got, Captain, but you're expecting a bloody miracle!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor not some space cadet.
Kirk: Actually, Bones...

 

[Timelord79 (he/him)]

INT—BRIDGE (OF Enterprise)
Kirk enters.

UHURA
I'm picking up a strange energy anomaly, Captain. It appears the singularity is about to explode.
[Kirk takes the captain's chair with overly dramatic confidence and poses with one arm back on the armrest and the other leaning forward, elbow on his knee. The chair swivels.]
SPOCK
Weapons are at maximum.

McCoy
Damn it, Kirk Solar flare. We've got a shock wave headed straight for us.
[McCoy turns back to his viewer.]
KIRK
Can you reverse the…polarity?

UHURA
(breathlessly)
I'll do my best.

KIRK MITCHELL
Engine room. Take us out of here…now.

SCOTTY
I'm giving it all I've got, Captain, but you're expecting a bloody miracle!

Well, in the Stargate Forum this would be an instant winner!

 

[Woulfe]

S T A R T R I P : The XI's have it.

Urban : What am I supposed to be looking at here ?

Pine : An ILM FX shot of the ship would be my guess.

Urban : Which ship ?

Pine : The Enterprise.

Urban : Which Enterprise ?

Pine : Your playing McCoy, you figure it out....

Urban : Oh, THAT Enterprise, okay....

Pine : That look on your face is just what J.J. wants for this scene, hold it for awhile longer.

Pine : Captain's Log.... We're being perused by a transport some 2 centuries old.... We think it is own by a company that makes cookies.... We can't seem to shake them.... I have a feeling we've been through this before.... I can't seen to shake this feeling as well.... I just hope they're friendly.

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"It's true...isn't it?

I do look like Gary Sinise."

(*Starts crying*)

KIRK:"Mind stepping out from in front of the viewscreen, Spock? I'm trying to show the enemy my impressive action batch."