TOS Caption Contest #107: The Inmate Runs The Asylum

[Gertch]

"Good thing we had the Nausican chili and Plomek soup last night to help produce some cover."

 

[Outpost4]

Chekov: There, as she uncrosses her legs, you can see Sharon Stone's beaver!

 

[Rat Boy]

Sounds like you enjoy being a contestant again, O'4.

Typical reaction by Patriots fans this afternoon.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: The Black Gates! Mordor!

Spock: Ok, season 4 is seriously getting ridiculous.

Theremein Hero proved to be popular with the Enterprise's crew.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Next time I get to be Batman.

SCOTTY: Aye just a few more tweaks and my Scot-bot 3000 will be ready. I'll never have bridge duty again!

SULU: Is that Cyrillic?

CHEKOV: Hee heh heh.

 

[Rat Boy]

Redshirt (singing): "Eeeeevery rose has it's thorn...

Scotty: "Damn bloody karaoke night."

 

[Outpost4]

The transporter beam didn't split Mr. Scott into Good and Evil, but instead, into Hall and Oates.

 

[scottydog]

Trouble ensued every time Otis let himself out of Andy's jail cell.

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Man, that Josh Groban. Is there any style he can't do?"

 

[scottydog]

Spock helps Kirk read a putt at the 2275 Ryder Cup matches.

Spock (off camera): Bridge to Sickbay. Honestly, Doctor, do we really need to see live footage of the Captain's colonoscopy?

 

[scottydog]

Starfleet's new affirmative action program allowed the retarded a place on every starship.

 

[26138]

Kirk and Spock watch eagerly after Yeoman Rand drops her tricorder and has to bend over to pick it up.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Red Shirt;[thinking] Ohhh that ones gonna leave a mark

Scotty: "Laddy I think ye better lay off the haggis"

KIRK:[thinking] damm its drafty all of a sudden?

SPOCK:[thinking] I heard a rip.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: Captain, the next time you feel the need to dress up in Medieval clothing and attend a renaissance fair, please cohearce Dr. McCoy instead.
Kirk: Shut up, Spock, and go fetch me that wench.

Excerpt from the Starfleet Pamphlet on Drug Use:

Teeth grinding is a sign of heavy "Jewels of Sound" use.

Ensign Richards was never the same after that landing party on Pollux VI.

-or-

Pavel: Fuck, the shit Scotty just sold us is pretty strong.
Hikaru: Are you doing alright? Because I think I'm having a freak out.

Another satisfied customer of Scotty's drug pushing activities. Scotty's number one seller-- Jewels of Sound. It's a brand name like Pepsi.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Sulu just didn't get the appeal of Orion Slave Girls. Chekov on the other hand...

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "Alright Spock on 3. Last one to the shuttle gives Sulu a prostate exam."

 

[highlander]

Red Shirt: "Freebird!!!"

Or......

Red shirt: "I'm an excellent driver."
Scotty: "Aye lad, you are...you are."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Then you jump first.

SPOCK: No, I said.

KIRK: What's the matter with you?

SPOCK: I can't swim.

KIRK: Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.

 

[highlander]

Sulu: "Isn't that your girlfriend the Captain is putting it to?"
Checkov: "She knows I like to vatch!"

 

[M'Sharak]

"Who are those guys?"