Funniest quotes

[Timewalker]

"Captain, You are excellent starship commander but your driving is very bad."

Actually, the line was "Captain, you are an excellent starship commander, but as a taxi driver you leave much to be desired."

Spock said this to Kirk after Kirk mused that he "might get one of these" (referring to the car).

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

"Captain, You are excellent starship commander but your driving is very bad."

I am not familiar with this quote, which series is it from?

TOS - "A Piece of the Action", if I'm not mistaken.

http://tos.trekcore.com/gallery/albums/2x17/pieceoftheaction_342.jpg

Check!

 

[JuanBolio]

Spock: "Ah, Captain - I do not think you realize the gravity of your situation."
Kirk: "One the contrary, gravity is foremost on my mind."

 

[TheLonelySquire]

"...it....it....it's green!" Scotty

"it...it....(sniff)....it is green" Data

 

[M'Sharak]

McCoy: Sssh!

 

[MarianLH]

Oh man, how could I have forgotten that one? Or Quark and Garak's root beer conversation from the same episode.

"It's so cloying, and bubbly, and happy."
"Just like the Federation."
Marian

I don't think I'd count that as funny, but more of an interesting outside insight into the Federation. We're natural disposed to thinking of them as the good guys and that all they do is great because humanity seems to be the driving force, but that little conversation just opens your eyes into thinking about whether the Federation really is all that great.

I don't disagree with that, but that doesn't mean it isn't also funny.

I get a kick out of it every time, which is why I was laughing at myself for forgetting it.


Marian

 

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

"You mean your people are going to invade... Cleveland?"

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Best Trek line of all time:

"Nice hat."

Best Trek line, taking into account the delivery and context (doesn't really translate in text):

"I'd give real money if he'd shut up!"

Plus anything Garak ever said.

 

[Lindley]

"What are you doing here, this is a private vision!"

 

[indranee]

for whatever it's worth, TFF had a ton of good ones. one of them...

Kirk: Spock...
Spock: Not in front of the Klingons, Captain.

 

[drasche]

McCoy: Sssh!

If I remember correctly, that was right before he said: Well, what do you know? I finally got the last word. Wasn't it? (from Journey to Babel)

 

[John Picard]

Oh man, how could I have forgotten that one? Or Quark and Garak's root beer conversation from the same episode.

"It's so cloying, and bubbly, and happy."
"Just like the Federation."
Marian

I don't think I'd count that as funny, but more of an interesting outside insight into the Federation. We're natural disposed to thinking of them as the good guys and that all they do is great because humanity seems to be the driving force, but that little conversation just opens your eyes into thinking about whether the Federation really is all that great.

I don't disagree with that, but that doesn't mean it isn't also funny.

I get a kick out of it every time, which is why I was laughing at myself for forgetting it.


Marian

The entire context of that conversation, "Just like the Federation" was hysterical. The DS9 cast had the best deadpan humor on television.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Nice house. Good tea."

"Sir, I must protest! I am NOT a merry man!"

 

[M'Sharak]

McCoy: Sssh!

If I remember correctly, that was right before he said: Well, what do you know? I finally got the last word. Wasn't it? (from Journey to Babel)

It was.

 

[Mistral]

I forget who fed the straight line but someone says "Mrs. O'Brien is having another baby." to which Worf fearfullys says, "Now?!?"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Odo, to Quark, about Sisko, in "Emissary" (with typical smarminess Odo always used when talking to Quark):

"You know, at first, I didn't think I was going to like him."

 

[B.J.]

I don't know how you people went 3 pages without any Q quotes!

Q: "What must I do to convince you people?!?"
Worf: "Die."
Q: "Oh, very clever Worf. Eat any good books lately?"

"I'm not good in groups. It's hard to work in groups when you're omnipotent."

"Micro-brain! Give me a growl! Let me know you still care!"

 

[Red Ranger]

All the series had funny lines. My faves include:

From TOS, The Deadly Years, Spock asks McCoy to give him a remedy for his increasing intolerance to cold.

MCCOY: I'm not a magician, Spock, just an old country doctor.
SPOCK: Yes. As I've always suspected.

From TNG, All Good Things, when Picard solves the paradox Q puts him in:

Q: My ship, my crew, I'll bet you're worried about your fish, too!

When Picard insists on an answer, Q quips:

Q: Well, you're here aren't you? You're talking to me, aren't you?

From TNG, Haven, when Data is watching all the squabbling:

Data: Would you please continue the petty bickering? I find it intriguing.

From DSN, The Emissary, when Sisko maneuvers Quark into becoming community leader:

Quark: Hahahahaha! Community leader!
Odo: Seems reasonable. You have all the character references of a politician!

Those are some that haven't been mentioned that stand out in my mind.

Red Ranger

 

[drasche]

From Bread and circuses:

McCoy: Medical men are trained in logic, Mr Spock.
Spock: Really doctor? I didn't know they were trained. Watching you, I assumed it was trial and error.

 

[Red Ranger]

From ST: TSFS: McCoy is trying to book passage on a ship to get back to Genesis. He mentions the name of the planet, the alien recoils in horror, and McCoy replies, "Yes, Genesis! How can you be deaf with ears like that?" -- RR