Hmmm. I don't want to be one of those dudes saying you're wrong but when you read the background information on "You Are Cordially Invited" at Memory Alpha it has Ron Moore saying he intended that Shelby to be the same one from BOBW. I just remember it because there was some minor issue with New Frontier and how Shelby was supposed to be left alone in that series. Even in the episode they don't specify gender. It also could just be a different Shelby like he mentions.The Shelby in that ep was a male.
So my point is that if Shelby in YACI was supposed to be the same Shelby from BOBW then she's already there and there's one TNG crossover that happened offscreen.How could she be? The wedding was held on short notice. I'd be surprised if anyone from outside the Bajor system was able to attend unless they had their own starship. Martok got himself and Sirella there because he was a Fleet Commander and RHIP, but why would Shelby want to even if someone owed her that big a favor?

