STV Caption Contest #232: Once Upon a Time in the Delta Quadrant

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: Once Upon a Time

But first, here are the winners of the last contest:

@A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees win the Best Fart Joke with:

It was at this moment Tuvok discovered the Vulcan neck pinch causes extreme flatulence in Species 8472


@tharpdevenport wins third prize with:

Janeway: "What's he suffering from, doctor?"

Doctor: "CGI. It looks remarkably painful."


Second Prize goes to @Oddish with:

SEVEN: "Does Captain Janeway know that you're cosplaying as her?"


And the winner is @TommyR01D with:

"She's faking it!"



Congratulations!


Here're th' new pictures:

Bonus Picture:

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Doctor: "For someone who recently passed your annual physical, your response time is unusually poor, Captain. You'll never land a spot on Jeopardy that way."

To Kathryn's embarrassment, there was no nightclub or dancers or DJ board; just a handful of confused and concerned senior staff members sitting around the conference table watching her remix in her sleep.

 

[Oddish]

Yay! Second place! And congrats to the other winners.

NAOMI (sings): "One morning when I was out shopping,
Though you'll find it hard to believe:
A little blue man came out of the crowd,
And timidly tugged at my sleeve.
'I wuv you! I wuv you!' said the little blue man.
'I wuv you! I wuv you to bits!'
'I wuv you!' He loved me, said the little blue man,
And scared me right out of my wits!"

Seven and Neelix realized almost immediately that watching Tom's secret collection of Klingon BDSM porn had probably been a mistake...

 

[tharpdevenport]

"I have blue balls."

"Don't cross the streams."

Where will you be when your epic space diarrhea comes raging back suddenly and without warning?

That moment when in Astrometrics when you realize you not only left your Borg ocular implant "ON" and connected to the display screen, but that it has accidentally fallen on the Captain's chair in the Conference Room...

 

[Timewalker]

TUVOK (off-camera): Captain, if you are serious about learning to play the bongo drums, would it not be more logical to replicate a set, rather than using the table?

 

[Finn]

Chakotay: (OS) I just got a letter from an old buddy who lives in Columbia. He says there's a fungus going around that destroying most of Earth's coffee crops.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tuvok (off screen): "Captain, Tom's attorney has transmissioned and you are being sued for alimony over the salamander babies. There are also allegations that the resuced Borg children, Mezoti, twins Azan and Rebi, and the unnamed baby, were blown out an airlock to save on replicator energy. I have checked the ships log and noted use of the airlock on said day..."

 

[Oddish]

B'ELANNA: "The motion-activated phaser turrets are functioning within normal parameters. Anything attempting to gain access to this area should be vaporized."
SEVEN: "Very well. We should have ample privacy for our... picnic."

JANEWAY: "Forty-seven male crew members? Vaporized?!"
TUVOK: "Including Lieutenant Paris and Commander Chakotay. I'm sorry, captain."

CAPTAIN: "Is it true? You and the chief engineer vaporized a third of Voyager's crew?!"
SEVEN: "I don't want to talk about it."

 

[tharpdevenport]

JANEWAY: "Forty-seven male crew members? Vaporized?!"
TUVOK: "Including Lieutenant Paris and Commander Chakotay. I'm sorry, captain."

Janeway: "And my quantum vibrator...?"
Tuvok: "...was in Commander Chakotay when he was vaporized."

 

[Delta Vega]

Seven (thinks)..........."Did he just touch my ass?"

 

[Orac]

Janeway: There's chocolate chips in that planetoid.

Later..

Janeway (OC): You found any chocolate chips down there?
Chakotay: No ma'am.
Janeway (OC): Drill deeper!

 

[tharpdevenport]

7 of 9: "Hey! What about my blue balls???"

 

[Qonundrum]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

And the winner is @TommyR01D with:

"She's faking it!"

And he's not?!

"Hey Naomi, don't you like 'Avatar' 20 years too early? We also use more colors than blue and teal, and they're vibrant and not danky toilet too!"

Seven: "It's so big!"
Neelix: "I've not felt this sensation before, but how do you like this outfit I stole from Quark?"

Seven: "Your neural implants are letting me hear what you're thinking. Stop making juvenile jokes about these cheap props looking like robot eyes."
Chakotay: "That's nothing. I ate beans a couple hours ago and have the perfect retort just waiting for you."

Seven: "Why do I always hang around people who eat beans? Peyew. Also, get somebody to turn up the damn lights before OSHA comes in."

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Captain, this is seems a little extreme just to open a jar of pickles."

Janeway (off screen): "Well, it's on there really really tight. And we haven't done a crossover with 'The Orville' yet. Anybody who's got any better ideas, speak now and get a promotion."

Harry: "Damn -- I'm drawing a blank!"

 

[Orac]

Flotter: NIce beaver!
Treevis: Thanks. I just had it stuffed.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Neelux: Looking over the video images we captured from 20th century Los Angeles, I see. I particularly liked the "soap opera." What ... what is this?
Seven: They called it an adult film.
Neelix: There's certainly nothing mature about the writing.

 

[Orac]

Shaw: Where'd th' cheese go?
7: I don't know.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Neelix: "Now, I know Mr. Tuvok CLAIMED I was the one who farted in the turbolift, but here on the screen is surveillance video of us in there. Now … if I apply this spectral filter, you can see the expelled flatulence…"

7 of 9: "Sweet merciful crap!"

"7, did you see anything after adjusting your ocular implant? 7?"

7 of 9: "Oh, sorry, I accidentally set it to vibrate..."

 

[Oddish]

NAOMI: "Captain's Assistant's Log... upon our unexpected discovery of the mythical world of Magregatha, I secretly placed an order for a planet made up entirely of chocolate chip cookies."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Borg Children (in unison): "The ship in orbit goes 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the ship in orbit goes 'round--"

Mistress Janeway: "BLOW THEM OUT AN AIRLOCK NOW!"