Picard (over the comm): "Report, Mr. Data."
Data: "Curious -- it appears the aliens have re-created Commander Riker and Lieutenant Yar as wax figures."
Picard: "Then nothing new of interest. Away team, beam back up."
Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #524: Beaming
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Picard (over the comm): "Report, Mr. Data."
Data: "Curious -- it appears the aliens have re-created Commander Riker and Lieutenant Yar as wax figures."
Picard: "Then nothing new of interest. Away team, beam back up."
Picard: THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!
Troi: Do NOT look at me!
Tomalak: So you used a neutrino beacon that could be detected by the transmitter on that guy's face? Tell me, does it have 1080p?
Picard: YES
Riker: Data, must you do that here?
Data: On behalf of the United Federation of Planets, I claim this tree.
Data: FEDERATION STANDARD, MOTHER FEKLAR! DO YOU SPEAK IT??!!
Fajo: Oh NOW he uses the Pulp Fiction chip I gave him. Couldn't do it yesterday when Space Gimp was here.
Barclay: There's SOMETHING out on the WING!
Casting Director: NAILED IT!
Fajo: Gah! This is worse than being sniped on ebay!
Data: Precisely, as I bid you farewell… <shoots>
<Reads Sticky Note>
Paused TP buffer DO NOT TOUCH!
Back in 2 hours - Chief
&&
O Brien: <incoherant technobabble about defragging the Heizenberg compensators>
Data: I’m reading a 9.5 on the wood-o-meter... Beaming in additional co-stars to compensate.
I think we need a new warning category for "Late Contest".
Little boy (OS) *punches the transporter console button over and over, laughing completely innocently*
Barclay: "No! Stop! How do I make you understand?"
Transporters come in handy if you suddenly develop stage fright...
Geordi: "Wait, what was my line again?"
...or finally getting rid of that annoying relative who's managed to turn a weekend visit into a month-long stay.
Worf: "Just. Go. Home. Already."
Be glad the world of Star Trek is a ways off yet; If the aliens landed now, we'd all be far too busy posting selfies to notice.
Geordi: "Don't worry, Captain, I can get Dr. Crusher back."
Pulaski (under her breath): "Blast it, I thought I'd finally-"
Troi: "Finally what, Doctor?"
Pulaski: "Nothing! Ooooh, look, sparkles!"
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Picard: Mr. Worf, beam him out of here before he launches into his long-winded speech about honor! I'm the only one around here who's allowed to make long-winded speeches!
Pulaski: They can't sue you for malpractice if you beam them into space.
Pakled Captain: We told engineer'd be here between 1300 and 1500 hours. It now 1750! This ridiculous! We demand to speak with your supervisor!
Data: Commander, I'm picking up two teleportation beams.
Shelby: If I wanted someone to state the obvious, I would have brought Troi along!
Starscream: Oh, how it pains me to do this...
Picard: He sure milks that one role doesn't he?
Pulaski: Transporters, cheaper than malpractice insurance.
Starscream: Oh how it pains me to do this...
Riker: Dude really is milking that role.
Chief Engineer's Log: Boy, it's only when you see our two transporter beams side by side you realise what a midget I am next to Commander Riker.
DATA: <turms to Worf> You should get your latinum back for that Tuvok Security Course.
COMPUTER: Warning, intruder alert on the bridge...
PICARD: Damn it, Worf! You have one job!!!!!
KLINGON CAPTAIN: What? How dare you do this? My position is completely logically sound here! Our ally infected our ship for no reason and is offering to fix it for free as a trick! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN?!
PULASKI: We've finally found it Captain. A life form even more self righteous than us.
PICARD: Challenge accepted.
RIKER: By the way, I hope you don't mind we give all your information to the Ferengi? They'd be great trading partners for such smart people as yourselves.
PAK'LED CAPTAIN: That sounds great, please send them all our information.
SHELBY: So I should have Riker's job in a week, right? Oh, ssh, there he is.
Shelby: There, we almost have it!
Data: Yes, as long as nothing disturbs this soil for the next 30 seconds, our analysis will give us what we need to defeat the Borg.
(Riker and La Forge materialize.)
Wesley: I thought you might be pleased, Sir. If I had followed your orders, that bird of prey would have slammed right into our viewscreen. The bottle says guarantees to cloak your ship or your Latinum back.
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