Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #149: Welcome to the Holodeck

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Catarina asked if I could jump in and be the Substitute Contest Maker for this round. Don't worry, she'll be back soon. In the meantime...

First up to the plate, we have the "Outstanding Achievement in Direction" Award, going to Nebusj for:

``Um ... no, Neelix, get farther from the camera. Farther still. No, you're still a little big and loud. Get farther back. Yes, you can go on the other side of the wall if you like. And keep going.''



Next, we have the "Uncomfortable Accommodations" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Dalby: Airbnb screwed us again.


Next, we have the "Too bad his mind started to go..." Award, going to A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees for:

You know, it's true what they say. A man only gets more distinguished with age...
A few lines here...
A little gray there...
The ability to fall asleep during dinner...



Next, we have the "Unexpected Promotion" Award, going to hux for:

Tuvok: Despite the fact that you're Maquis with no Starfleet training, I'm making you a lieutenant and giving you this ceremonial rifle. Now please go and tell Kim the good news.

Jumping to Warp 9, we have T'Girl for:

Seska: "This is a special bowl, it contains your future, your destiny, your dreams and all your promise."
(pulls off cover)
Chakotay: "It's completely empty."
Seska: "I'm impressed Chakotay, you figured that out quite quickly."

Catapulting to a win, we have JirinPanthosa for:

CREWMAN: Actually there was a Vulcan I met in the Maquis. I suppose our cause is 'logical' after all.
TUVOK: You mean the woman who was captured for her role in kidnapping Gul Dukat?
CREWMAN: Yeah.
TUVOK: I met her. She confided in DS9's Ferengi bartender. She sucks at logic.


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to the winners!

And now, lets spend some time on the Holodeck, see how long the safety protocols work...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Janeway: With a group this large, we're going to need to leave a 20% tip. Who brought cash?

Paris: And now, appearing in person and signing autographs, Queen Arachnia!

EMH: Cordrazine? That's tricky stuff...

Janeway: 8 ball, corner pocket- oh no!

Janeway: Not my ebay sale item!

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS....LOVE YOOOOOOOOUUUU

 

[Hutchy01]

I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me.

(Optional Second joke) Salai, I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me.

 

[Nebusj]

First up to the plate, we have the "Outstanding Achievement in Direction" Award, going to Nebusj for:

``Um ... no, Neelix, get farther from the camera. Farther still. No, you're still a little big and loud. Get farther back. Yes, you can go on the other side of the wall if you like. And keep going.''

Thank you kindly and guestily!

Janeway: ``I don't know how we ended up in an episode of Allo, Allo, but I have worked out a plan to get back to our own show. Now listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.''

o/` Video killed the radio star! o/`

``Well, clear my cache and reload and maybe that'll fix the problem.''

``I'm not saying you can't make the shot, Captain, it's just I'm pretty sure we were stripes.''

Later that day, Janeway changed majors from Defence Against The Dark Arts to Science.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Thank you all for coming. I think you all know why we're here."

Paris: "Bad writing?"

Character actor: "It's the ashes of your career."

Mulgrew: "It's not true. Liar! Liar!"



I can't bellieve A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees had the same idea for Paris. :-)

 

[stardream]

Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of the twisted ring of doom.

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe, I can do anything.'

Don't worry. It's just the fans with their torches and pitchforks again.

 

[Hutchy01]

Janeway: I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Leadhead!

Janeway: What's the deal with these tables?
Kim: In order to optimize their collaborative functionalities we had to collate the surface area configuration to a more evenly-grouped modulation.
Kes: Sheesh this guy.

And to Seven of Nine, Harry Kim dedicated this next number especially for you.
Here's - "The Imperial March - The Darth Vader Theme." For clarinet.

Holo-EMH: Mind if I vape?
EMH: No. Mind if I walk around not vaping like a douchebag?

Janeway: Is the gigolo checking out my caboose?
Paris: No, just your boxcar.

Da Vinci: The flying wing is not a sexual contraption!
...The Arm of Hephaestus is.

 

[Hutchy01]

Da Vinci: Gordon's Alive!

 

[Leviathan]

Guy in crowd: Worst. Gandalf. Ever.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Maximilian Arturo: How did I wind up in THIS universe, you blistering idiots?!?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: Now that this is all over, you are all to indicate in the logs that the ship constantly reshaping itself and always resulting in doors leading to other doors makes perfect sense. That's an order.

PARIS: Damn it, it's a crossover episode. Commander Electron! Good to see you again! Always nice to have you in my orbit.

ZIMMERMAN: Wait a minute. This isn't my Emergency Medical Hologram. This is my Emergency Slapstick Hologram!
ESH: (Throws hypo) BOINGOINGOING!

JANEWAY: Where's the bridge?
PARIS: Umm, we don't have any. You'll just have to lean over the table and take the shot.
CHAKOTAY: Hey, there it is!
PARIS: Damn it Chakotay.

JANEWAY: What do we do?
DAVINCI: Well, being that this is the 15th century and you're a woman, I suggest you get me a coffee.
JANEWAY: Damn it, computer! I told you to run in historical revision mode!
*beep boop*
DAVINCI: I have this great idea for an invention, and you're the only one I trust to help me work out the kinks.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: Oh and another round of buffalo wings. Thanks toots.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"HoloViagra!"

Janeway: "And you said all these game thigns are yours, right?"

Paris: "Right."

Janeway: "So..... I'm playing with your balls?"

Paris: "Will you have my lizard babies?"

Janeway: "WILL I???"

 

[Hutchy01]

Janeway: "And you said all these game thigns are yours, right?"

Paris: "Right."

Janeway: "So..... I'm playing with your balls?"

Paris: "Will you have my lizard babies?"

Janeway: "WILL I???"

Have you seen how put-out Torres and Chakotay look?

 

[Leviathan]

Team Paris & Janeway easily defeat Team Torres & Wood plank.

 

[Nerys Myk]

EMH: Pez?

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Tom, that's not your cue stick. That's Commander Chakotay.
Chakotay: I get this all the time.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: Tom, that's not your cue stick. That's Commander Chakotay.
Chakotay: I get this all the time.

Janeway: "But Chacotay is standing over there."

Woodcotay: "Right."

Janeway: "Then what am I holding on to?"