Your Favorite One-Liner From Any TOS Character

[FormerLurker]

True. But Star Trek humor is unique. No other show could have produced a sequel film where two different characters say the exact same thing, with no other dialog in between, and have both utterances be funny. Example:

"Have you noticed your boobs firming up? Not that we pay attention to such things."

 

[Silvercrest]

Which utterance of that was the funny one?

 

[FormerLurker]

If the audience laughs, it's funny. You may not think so, but many more than you do. And that's why they laughed.

 

[Silvercrest]

And many more than I did not. No opinion on who outnumbers whom. Someone can start a poll. But it isn't just me.

Don't get me wrong -- I don't think the movie was as terrible as a lot of others seem to. But some of that humor ... ugh.

 

[Marsden]

I don't know if it's a one-liner but one of the funniest lines I like is Mr. Spock at the end of this exchange:

JONES: Captain, you're a hard man. All right! All right!
KIRK: You'll do it?
JONES: I'll do it.
SPOCK: He'll do it.

 

[Corylea]

I don't know if it's a one-liner but one of the funniest lines I like is Mr. Spock at the end of this exchange:

JONES: Captain, you're a hard man. All right! All right!
KIRK: You'll do it?
JONES: I'll do it.
SPOCK: He'll do it.

Wow, thanks for posting that. All these years, I've missed Spock's quietly saying that in the background -- and Chrissie's transcripts don't include that line, either -- but I just rewatched that segment, and you're right, he does say that. So thanks for showing me something new, after decades!

 

[Zaminhon]

Anything associated with "Herbert".

That and its meaning became part of my vocabulary growing up.

 

[Metryq]

"I say he must prove he is a god!"
—Salish, "The Paradise Syndrome"

 

[2takesfrakes]

Star Trek: "Requiem for Methuselah"
Captain James T. Kirk:
"Stay out of this. We're fighting over a woman."

 

[Green Shirt]

"I won't hurt you." Kirk says this to Akuta in The Apple just after he breaks his nose.

He even made the guy cry.

 

[ihno]

My fave quote is from "The dealy years" when Kirk takes a nap on the bridge.

(Later, everyone is tip-toeing around an obviously sleeping Captain in his comfy chair. Spock enters, unaware.)
SPOCK: Captain, I believe (notices, and wakes him gently) Captain. Captain.
KIRK: Mister Spock. I was just thinking.
SPOCK: Yes, sir. Quite understandable.

 

[Duncan MacLeod]

KIRK: I have never questioned the orders or the intelligence of any representative of the Federation ... until now.

 

[MarsWeeps]

From Bread and Circuses:

FLAVIUS: (to Spock) Where are you from? What do you call those?
SPOCK: I call them ears.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Also from that episode:

"You bring the network's ratings down, Flavius, and we'll do a SPECIAL on you!"

 

[EnsignHarper]

I don't know if it's a one-liner but one of the funniest lines I like is Mr. Spock at the end of this exchange:

JONES: Captain, you're a hard man. All right! All right!
KIRK: You'll do it?
JONES: I'll do it.
SPOCK: He'll do it.

He just can't believe his ears...

 

[Marsden]

Spock has some of the best lines.

Spock: I fail to comprehend your indignation, sir. I've simply made the logical deduction that you are a liar.

 

[JonnyQuest037]

The first one that occurs is, "Shut up, Spock! We're rescuing you!"

 

[Duncan MacLeod]

Spock's retort is classic too.

"Thank you, Captain McCoy."

 

[Brutal Strudel]

"On Vulcan, the teddy bears are alive and have six inch fangs."

 

[Green Shirt]

Kirk, to McCoy (about Spock): "I thought you said you'd like him better if he mellowed a little bit."