Your Favorite One-Liner From Any TOS Character

This is one of the great underrated scenes in the whole series. Shatner and Doohan play it perfecty:

SCOTT: And then they compared you to a Denebian Slime Devil - can you believe that? And then -
KIRK: I get the idea Scotty. And thats when you threw the first punch (pleased with the assumed compliment)
SCOTT: No,sir!
KIRK: No?
SCOTT: We're big enough to handle a few insults, aren't we?
(Shatner's reactions here are PERFECT)
KIRK: So.....why did you throw the first punch?
SCOTT: They called the Enterprise a garbage scow.....SIR
(again Doohan here sounds and looks absolutely sincere about that - like he truly was personally insulted)
KIRK: So....you hit the Klingon because they insulted the ship, but not because...
SCOTT: Well...its a matter of pride! (looking absolutely pleased with himself)

It really is too bad they hardly ever gave Doohan more to do -it could have been real fun

 

Captain Sulu: "Target that explosion and fire."

 

Spock, at the end of 'Requiem for Methusaluh'

"Forget."

 

Kirk to Saavak, "You may ask..."

 

That's because Shatner took away all of his good lines either for himself or had them edited out

 

I didn't think about this one when I posted first but it is great - I assume Roddenberry wrote the opening?

And although I had heard that Shatner didn't like the way he originally read it, I think it is masterful.

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

 

+1. Great choice. I would have never thought of this one!

 

Spock: That unit is a WOMAN!
Nomad: a mass of conflicting impulses!
absorbing it unbalanced me!

Later Nomad asks Kirk if Spock is one of his units
Nomad explains-this unit is different it is well ordered!
Spocks look of pride is great!

so many lines in this episode is classic!

 

Lines I actually use when the situation arises (some from the TV show, some from the films) ...

- McCoy: "Dammit Jim!" any time I need a "dammit", I just tack the "Jim" to the end of it, and skip the "I'm a ..." part. Even got my wife doing it.

- Scotty: "Suits me fine, I just bought a boat" when something is delayed or cancelled. FYI, I do not own a boat.

- Sulu: "So much for the little training cruise" when something goes from simple or easy to difficult or complex

- Spock: "Fascinating" when I find something ... well, fascinating. I'll occasionally expand it to "fascinating, Captain"

- Sulu: "San Francisco, I was born there" which I was not, but I do utter it every time I drive over the Bay Bridge or Golden Gate Bridge.

- McCoy: "It's dead Jim" when something doesn't work or function

- Scotty: "Helloooo computer" when my computer isn't responding as quickly as I'd like. I'll even pick up the mouse and speak into it sometimes

 

McCoy: "I liked him better before he died"

 

"Laddie, don't you think you should... rephrase that?"

 

^"You're right. I should."


Oh crap. Wrong thread.

 

McCoy: Spock, you never cease to amaze me.
Spock: Nor I myself.

 

"How do I regain picture?"

Not exactly well spoken by a genetically engineered superior human.

 

T'Pau: Live long and prosper, Spock.

Spock: I shall do neither; I have killed my captain and my friend.

 

It's actually kind of amazing to see how few people in this thread realize a 'one-liner' is a joke; setup and punchline all in one.

 

Kang : "We have no Devil, Kirk, but we understand the habits of yours."

 

The king of the one-liners, Henny Youngman, defined it with this: "Take my wife. Please."

 

Spock: A joke is a story with a humorous climax.

 

Forum topics always have plenty of drift; I've seen people go from talking about overacting to talking about the theme song from "Love Boat."

So it's not that people don't know what a one-liner is; it's more that a list of favorite joke lines reminds people of other favorite lines, so they post those, too. That's a lot less drift than from overacting to theme songs from a completely different show.