Obviously I don't know the script but I'd have basically made this an episode of the imaginary 'Star Trek: Excelsior' show with a linking frame of Admiral/Captain Sulu telling a story of his life between Enterprises.
I found this forum whilst googling for this project, (emails to the Yorktown website don't get a response), and this is my first post.
Basically I was going to say the same thing as the above. It's certainly not a criticism on my part, but there is a flood of fans filming themselves in TOS fanfilms, whereas this had the unique highlight of George Takei being in the fanfilm. It may fulfil that fans wish to be their hero for a day, but what of this unique opportunity to add to the Star Trek canon ?
It seems to be that, instead of fans filming themselves being Captain Kirk/Other, that approaching George Takei to appear in another fanfilm, would have majored on the uniqueness of this fanfilm AND added to its further distinctiveness AND given us a rarely seen glimpse into the world of Excelsior?
That would have been worth a Kickstarter and really added something to Excelsior fans' meagre collection !
Maybe two versions can be made ?