Why are women always so busy?

[Hermiod]

^All we have ever gotten in these relationship problem threads is one side. That's why they are fundamentally flawed. A very wise man once said that understanding is a three edged sword - your side, their side and the truth.

I advised Brent to not call her anymore and that advice stands. I don't need to see the other side of this situation to give that advice, it works both ways. If she's busy she'll call. If she wants him to go away, she won't. Either way, he'll have his answer.

 

[Brent]

^All we have ever gotten in these relationship problem threads is one side. That's why they are fundamentally flawed. A very wise man once said that understanding is a three edged sword - your side, their side and the truth.

I advised Brent to not call her anymore and that advice stands. I don't need to see the other side of this situation to give that advice, it works both ways. If she's busy she'll call. If she wants him to go away, she won't. Either way, he'll have his answer.

I hear you, and it makes sense. Emotionally it hurts though cause it isn't what I desire.


Sorry to those that sounded like I was making a negative generalization, no intention to offend. This female friend of mine seems to be becoming more and more selfish, personally, and it is a trend I don't think is good. She keeps saying she is busy, and probably really is, but she is busy doing for herself, and not necessarily including others. I wish she would make time.

 

[Jetfire]

^

That is sad, I work with females like this and it so sad.


JF

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I'm with pookha on this one. Sounds like the lady in question really is busy with things and hasn't got time at the moment for something else on her plate. Give her time and maybe she'll get round to you. Give her more time and then you can nudge her a bit.

If she's not interested in you, she'll not make excuses for postponing you - she'll tell you herself.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'd comment, but I'm a little busy right now.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Sorry to those that sounded like I was making a negative generalization, no intention to offend. This female friend of mine seems to be becoming more and more selfish, personally, and it is a trend I don't think is good. She keeps saying she is busy, and probably really is, but she is busy doing for herself, and not necessarily including others. I wish she would make time.

I want to believe you, but then why are you linking this to her gender? This thread isn't called "Why is my friend always so busy?", but "Why are women alway so busy?" And while I may understand that your feelings are being hurt, I can't help but get the impression that underneath, you think that women should not do things for themselves, but for their loved ones. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what your posts look like.

 

[Snow]

... This female friend of mine seems to be becoming more and more selfish, personally, and it is a trend I don't think is good. She keeps saying she is busy, and probably really is, but she is busy doing for herself, and not necessarily including others...

What exactly are the things that she is doing for herself and why is that selfish? Ignoring the fact that she seems to not have time for you (in your opinion), why do you deem this a bad thing? Perhaps if we break down this argument (as we have now successfully gone past generalizations to getting closer to how you feel) we can get some understanding for you and maybe closure if needed.

 

[SPOCKED]

I'd comment, but I'm a little busy right now.

In his bunk.


Thread. Ok whatever

 

[Kestra]

Call up a friend today, let's go on a little trip out of town one weekend this month, you pick it, whatever weekend works out best for ya.

"I've got plans every weekend this month, I'm really busy this weekend, and next weekend"

me - So how about the 21st weekend, would that work?

"I'm busy every weekend this month"

me - Ooook, your call, you sound like you got a lot goin on

"Yeah, I'm a busy bee "

errrrrrrrr

And it's been a few weeks since she's invited me over, just, for anything, me asking why, the reason was "I've just been really busy lately"

errrrrrr

This sounds a bit like me recently. Except for the bee part; I'd never call myself a busy bee. All my weekends are pretty much filled up from now until ... at least halfway through June. I don't consider myself selfish.

 

[SiorX]

Okay. I give in. I have to ask.

What is it with the boards this week? I'm not usually much of a conspiracy theorist, but there's a hooded cadre behind the sudden wildfire of prehistoric gender-fail, right?

Maybe some kind of highly organised gang of sphygmomanometer salesmen or something?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Okay. I give in. I have to ask.

What is it with the boards this week? I'm not usually much of a conspiracy theorist, but there's a hooded cadre behind the sudden wildfire of prehistoric gender-fail, right?

Maybe some kind of highly organised gang of sphygmomanometer salesmen or something?

I've been asking myself and others the same thing. Something's definitely in the water. It's giving me the creeps.

 

[Lindley]

I think women are more social creatures than men in general, so naturally they're going to be busy with their friends more often. Especially the fun ones, since they'll have lots of friends.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Okay. I give in. I have to ask.

What is it with the boards this week? I'm not usually much of a conspiracy theorist, but there's a hooded cadre behind the sudden wildfire of prehistoric gender-fail, right?

Maybe some kind of highly organised gang of sphygmomanometer salesmen or something?

I've been asking myself and others the same thing. Something's definitely in the water. It's giving me the creeps.

Recessions bring out the primative instincts in humanity. We are all steps away from clubbing each other over the head and feasting on the gooing side.

 

[QCzar]

I'm still waiting for the "Why are blacks always so loud?" thread. You know it's coming.

Starting any thread with "Why are [random, congenital identifying characteristic] always so [generalization]?", no matter the intent, is asinine.
It shouldn't be said that people are overreacting. It should be said that, as members of a diverse community, well-intentioned individuals have a responsibility to keep the peace. If all that means is re-reading your thread title and opening post, not to make it un-offensive, but to make it make sense, then that's very little to ask.

Unless the thread is made out of a genuine (not comical or satirical) belief that "all women are always busier than men", then it is inane and/or divisive.

If Brent had simply added a "some" between "are" and "women", this thread would have an entirely different meaning. It takes so little effort, which tells me one of either of two things. That they either 1) don't care or, 2) are purposely using incendiary titles to be attention whores (unheard of in Misc, I know).

It's high time for the community to stop making excuses for this horseshit. It's really getting old. I think it's becoming apparent that both sides of this debate lack the maturity necessary to keep conversations on gender going peacefully. That hammer needs to fall, IMO. I hate that it seems to be coming to this, but come the fuck on already! How much more evidence is needed? We've had almost half a dozen such threads closed over this crap, in one month. Sadly, gender now needs to go with race, religion, politics and sexual orientation in the category of "sensitive subjects", along with all the other TNZ failology.

TrekBBS members are proving they can't handle it in a civil manner, so off to TNZ I say. The quicker and more quietly you do it, the less it hurts.

2¢.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'd comment, but I'm a little busy right now.

In his bunk.


Thread. Ok whatever

Every day I wake up thinking it's the 21st Century, every day TrekBBS reminds me that it's still the 1950s, and every day I go back to my bunk.

 

[Trippy]

do you know her personally...

Wasn't me who said it to begin with. You can ask Trippy or T'Bonz about that.

uh yeah tbonz said that but what trippy said was more complicated..

Oh yay! Another 'let's over-generalize' women thread! Yippee!

Women work. Women usually have to work harder to get up the ladder. So therefore, women are busy.

Or maybe she's "just not into you" (read the book, not the movie)

that she may really be busy or just not interested.
the point is we dont have enough to go on to really know.

Thank you for posting my whole post and for others who knew exactly what I meant

 

[kimc]

Sorry to those that sounded like I was making a negative generalization, no intention to offend. This female friend of mine seems to be becoming more and more selfish, personally, and it is a trend I don't think is good. She keeps saying she is busy, and probably really is, but she is busy doing for herself, and not necessarily including others. I wish she would make time.

Did you ask her if she was okay and if there was anything you could do to help?

 

[Brent]

Sorry to those that sounded like I was making a negative generalization, no intention to offend. This female friend of mine seems to be becoming more and more selfish, personally, and it is a trend I don't think is good. She keeps saying she is busy, and probably really is, but she is busy doing for herself, and not necessarily including others. I wish she would make time.

Did you ask her if she was okay and if there was anything you could do to help?

It didn't sound like she was having problems, just real busy, and no time for anyone. I've made it known in the past that I'm here if she ever needs help with anything. I suppose I can ask again, but i don't want to sound pushy either, it is a fine balance to walk.

 

[T'Bonz]

Brent. Translation: She has lost interest. Move on.

that's not what i want to hear

Sorry, but that is what it seems like to me. Seems like she isn't interested and doesn't know how to just come out and say it, so is doing the avoidance bit.

I could be wrong, but if I were the guy, I'd ask her outright about it. Better to have the bad news and start getting over it, than to die a slow death.

And I could be wrong, Maybe she IS busy. But if she was into you, she'd FIND time to get together.

 

[Brent]

It is good advice, it is just hard to hear. Life stinks sometimes, it doesn't go the way I want it