Why Are Men So Insecure?
- Thread starter JonathonWally
- Start date
He's no virgin (and 38.. way past the teens)... if anything he gets his fair share of sex, his wife is very sexual and in the time they broke up he used to drag me out so we could pick up women. With them he's very confident... put his in a shared shower with men and that confidence is lost completely.
He's an odd one.
Because like James Brown said: it's a mans world.Serious question. Why are men so insecure? Especially in all things concerning "masculinity" and "being manly"
Why is stereotypical "manly behavior" so closely related to "being an asshole" Such examples would be; being all tough and mighty and threatening physical violence. Being rude and having shitty manners(cursing, yelling, farting, burping)
Liking sports and often drinking to excess when watching them and eating sloppily.
It's the whole, having to be a "mountain man, having a big beard, chopping wood and wearing a flannel shirt thing."
And half the time anything less gets labeled "gay" or "metrosexual"
Seriously, what the fuck does "metrosexual" mean, honestly it sounds like a group of people being "PC" while still calling a man a "faggot" or "gay" while not actually saying those words in an attempt to be more "politically correct" and not using those terms as "attack words in a derogatory manner"
Following me?
I like to dress nice, I match my clothing (as best I can as a colorblind person) I keep my nails trim and presentable, I get my eyebrows taken care of, I go to the gym and lift "manly weights" I keep my hair cut and stick with styles that suit me best. I have a wide collection of shoes that I'm proud of. Hell I even go tanning on a regular basis (though more for health reasons that vanity) but I also hate looking pale bordering on unhealthy looking. I even wear earrings (yes 2, one in each ear, because just 1 on the left ear looks unbalanced to me)
And while doing all of this, I love to watch football (American Football), baseball, drag racing, work on cars. I'm sensative, I listen, I enjoy flirting (a lot)
I'm a man. I'm proud of who I am. I'm not insecure in the definition of "manliness"
I feel no need to look like the Brawny Paper Towel/Lumberjack guy to feel like a man.
So, my question is, what's wrong with a lot of "men"?
You've got to be aggressive & an asshole to be dominate.
We maybe human but their are still "insticts" within out genetic make up that predetermine us to be this way. We thrive on competition.
Why do you think so many guys love sports?
Yeah, that's bullshit a good deal of the time. The Godfather of Soul wound up serving time for being an aggressive asshole. You want to go live in the desert and hunt lizards, work on being an aggressive and "dominant" asshole. You want to get what you want out of life in western culture, be smarter.
This is why so many men are so pissed off as well, BTW - they can't figure out why the "man's world" shit isn't working any more.
Younger men are often more insecure than they will be a few decades later when they've figured out what the fuck is important. Then, they just panic occasionally.
Well a lot are insecure and have to show it by going on the net and whining about other men.
I mean - come on...your first post is textbook "I need affirmation!! tell me how valid my choices are!" NOT the sign of a guy confident in his ways..
Ouch!
Most don't apply the term "Godfather" to someone that's usually an up standing citizen.
Many who make that mistake end up 6 feet under.
No, my first post is a biting commentary at all the threads guys have lately been going after women, stereotyping them and generaly posting borderline hate.
If you see a "I need affirmation" post, the honestly, you've read the wrong psychology textbooks, your psych degree is faulty, and you're most likely projecting your very own insecurities into it.
Like the whole trying to point out the flaws of other people and there comments in order to make themselves look/sound a lot smarter?
Allow me to end this debate: I rock and all of you suck.
WHAT?!?!
Alright, can someone please tell me what the FUCK is going on here? Jonathon, please don't tell me you started this thread as yet another rant in the on-going FAIL-war over gender. Your OP implied that yours was a serious question (to which I and a few others gave serious answers), not a snide attack.
What a waste.
I think you are all cowards for not having it out in the open, instead of making these "biting" commentaries from the back of the room. Fuck the inane thread-raids and hate-gasms. Just have at it. Do it like adults. Do it like dumb kids. Just do it. Who knows, it may be cleansing. You all know who you are, so I won't name names (though, I really should).
Just please, get a damn room already and stop polluting Misc with this bullshit.
Same here. I joined the drama club and realized it's okay to be straight and into theater because there's tons of tail-chasing in drama club. That expanded into other things. I've always hated sports and was embarrassed by that fact because men are supposed to be able to know scores and stats and stuff. I'm now comfortable enough to say up front "I don't like basketball" when someone is all, "So, Kobe, right?"
The only insecurity I struggle with nowadays is that I'm very sensitive and love emotions. I love expressing them, talking to others about them and find strength in knowing them. The problem is that a lot of women I come across aren't too good at knowing expressing themselves so I've had experiences where a girl will try to shit on me for it. In the end, I tend to surround myself with people who can express themselves and have little patience for people with simple emotional vocabularies. Except for children. I find children easier to talk to than a lot of adults.
As for metrosexuality, I dress nice when going out. I like the feeling of wearing a nice suit. I appreciate when a man is good looking and admit it. But I'm also mature enough to know that those things don't make you gay.
Wanting to suck cock makes you gay. And I've never wanted to do anything like that.
WHAT?!?!
Alright, can someone please tell me what the FUCK is going on here? Jonathon, please don't tell me you started this thread as yet another rant in the on-going FAIL-war over gender. Your OP implied that yours was a serious question (to which I and a few others gave serious answers), not a snide attack.
What a waste.
I think you are all cowards for not having it out in the open, instead of making these "biting" commentaries from the back of the room. Fuck the inane thread-raids and hate-gasms. Just have at it. Do it like adults. Do it like dumb kids. Just do it. Who knows, it may be cleansing. You all know who you are, so I won't name names (though, I really should).
Just please, get a damn room already and stop polluting Misc with this bullshit.
It is a serious thread. The insecurity I'm addressing stems from the recent barrage of posts and threads that tend to degrade women. I won't call it outright "misogyny" because I don't think it's direct hate. I think it's a lot of men who are insecure and lashing out a bit, whether on purpose or if they even realize their doing it. So I posted this thread to address the topic of what is perceived insecurity of those who are doing it.
Also reading through the "What's the gayest thing you do and what's the most hetero thing you do" forced me to look at it from that angle too.
Why is such and such a "gay activity" and why is such and such a "hetero activity"
Why is it socially acceptable and frankly, not a big deal or even out of the norm for a woman to have certain "masculine traits" or to do "masculine things" but for a guy to cross that imaginary line of hetero/gay he's all of a sudden "less of a man" or "not as manly and masculine".
It's an honest question in my attempt to get to the bottom of things.
Sigh. Every day I wake up thinking it's the 21st Century and every day I come to TrekBBS and am reminded that it's still the 1950s.
And let's make this the last "gender" Thread for a while, folks.
Because they're people.
Let's not go down that road, please.
Nobody hates anybody. There's just a lot of people around here, male and female, who buy into the ancient stereotypes.
And let's make this the last "gender" Thread for a while, folks.
Seriously, in all the threads you've posted that comment in, you really think it belonged in this one too?
Did you read my OP in which I openly and proudly admitting to breaking stereotypes then asked why other men tend to fear it, but yet you think I'm spewing a 1950s mentality?
Note my answer to your question. You didn't ask why people are so insecure in their identities that they must conform to their gender (or other) stereotypes.
Besides, just the fact that these conversations are taking place in this age is depressing.
Besides, just the fact that these conversations are taking place in this age is depressing.
Yeah, let's.
Oh and I apologize for my earlier tone and to anyone who took it as a flame.
Same here.
Wait, David Duchovny's doesn't count, right?
Seriously, though, for some reason I am insanely attracted to that man. Not quite THAT attracted to him but quite a bit nonetheless. There's no other man I feel that way about. I guess he's the exception that proves the rule about my heterosexuality.
Thank you.Oh and I apologize for my earlier tone and to anyone who took it as a flame.
