One word would solve this whole dilemma:
Buffet.
Buffet.
Who Should Be Served First?
- Thread starter Miss Chicken
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Even up to a couple of weeks before she died, my mother always feed my brother before me when I was visiting her (he lived with her). She would ask him what he wanted but never asked me. She would even get up while she was still eating to give him some ice cream. I never was offered any ice cream because I gather he was the one who bought it.
I've never heard of this tradition. Only one I think I know is the man is supose to carve the turkey on Thanksgiving.
Jason
My family has no formality, there is no "serving" we just eat our food. Small children are given food first by whatever adult decides to do that and that's it. That's my immediate fairly big family in my city though. I have american christian relatives who expect there to be some kind of deference and respect connected to being served (and get miffed if they don't get that personally) and I have korean relatives that will fall over themselves to serve guests first. In my immediate family the only time these things have ever entered anyone's head is when the overseas relatives are here and suddenly you have to remember this stuff.
I have a question somewhat connected. How many people still even eat at a dining table or any kind of table? My family mostly just eats in front of the tv and we don't always even eat in the same room. I mean when I was younger we might eat at the table for Thanksgiving or Christmas but that was about it.
Jason
Jason
We cannot eat at our table as it is always covered in my craft shit. My sons tend to eat in their rooms while I eat either at the table (after clearing a small space) or else I eat while sitting on the sofa.
If it's a more formal holiday meal, then we're likely to eat at the table. For regular meals it varies.
I think when it is a shared table most often the food is in the middle of the table or whoever cooked it has a spread of plates in the kitchen and loads them up with food and then call the family in to take theirs. Regards kids, often they eat first, mainly because the need to go to bed earlier. IF there is a serving scenario, I've seen the guests (if any) being offered food first. Sometimes Grandma or Granddad. So respect for older family can come into it. It's not sexist I don't think, though more likely in favour of Grandma. Admittedly we really did eat in front of the TV most of the time.
Now for the embarrassing part. My mother-in-law DID make a point of serving her husband. It was a bit of shock when I first became part of their family. Dad-in-law at the head of the table and she would prepare his plate for him and we would watch (bla) and then go from there. They would sit at the table all the time, not like my lot. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Father-in-law ruling the roost.
Now for the embarrassing part. My mother-in-law DID make a point of serving her husband. It was a bit of shock when I first became part of their family. Dad-in-law at the head of the table and she would prepare his plate for him and we would watch (bla) and then go from there. They would sit at the table all the time, not like my lot. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Father-in-law ruling the roost.
In my own house no one has eaten at the dining table in like 20 years.
At other people's houses in family.. thinking about it we only eat at a table if we're outside. I find the whole formal, at the table, head of the house at the end thing when I do experience it to be incredibly uncomfortable.
At other people's houses in family.. thinking about it we only eat at a table if we're outside. I find the whole formal, at the table, head of the house at the end thing when I do experience it to be incredibly uncomfortable.
The way I was taught is this:
at a restaurant, the waiter always takes the order and serves the oldest female at the table first.
at a dinner party, the host serves the guests first and then the hosts serve themselves
in a private, ordinary family dinner, you do whatever the hell you please.
at a restaurant, the waiter always takes the order and serves the oldest female at the table first.
at a dinner party, the host serves the guests first and then the hosts serve themselves
in a private, ordinary family dinner, you do whatever the hell you please.
You mean their really is serving edique? I always though the waiter or waitress just brought out the food and he/she would list the food in her hand and ask who ordered it and whoever ordered gets the the plate then they just repeat it until everyone has their order.
Jason
When I was at boarding school, seventh form, we got the head of several tables. There weren't enough of us to head all the tables so sixths took turns. There was also a top table on a little platform and was set like the last supper with the Matron or Head Master in the middle. As a seventh you dished up all the meals at your table to be handed around. There was an order for anything left over. I used to offer it to whomever wanted it. However a snotty sixth told me that it needed to be offered to the sixth first, then any fifths right down to firsts. Firsts were like sad little children - pathetic. I used to feel so sorry for them. I told the sixth she was wrong it goes to me first not her, lol. Thing is you follow these rules because it gives meaning to those coming up through the 'ranks'. None us would eat until Matron nodded. 
In the Army we were taught not to eat until our men eat first so I have no problem being served last if children are present.
Well you know what they say Dogs have Masters, Cats have slaves.
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