I don't know you very much and you probably don't know me very well and to be honest, I quit coming to misc. a long time ago. Unfortunately, I have been banned from TNZ
, so I have come back here until my ban is up. Anyway, I have noticed these threads pop up about once a year and generally it's in the winter time. I suspect you may have seasonal depression.
I don't want you to think that what I'm about to say is sarcastic, it's not.
First off, I don't know what makes you happy,so I have to just generalize. I realized a long time ago that our lives aren't that important in the big scheme of things. There's probably millions of civilizations out there and our existence is barely even a footnote in the history book of the universe. Society has built this crappy existence that we were born into. We are all lemmings working every day just to give it all away to our overlords who keep us under their thumbs with bills, debt and taxes. So, what do we live for? We live our whole lives hoping that when we are old we can travel and be worry free with the money we saved for retirement. It is a pretty pointless existence, some of us may never even live that long and will never get to enjoy that retirement plan. It's depressing when you sit and think about it.
Having said that, that is life, but it's not what life is all about. It's like Dolly Parton said, "it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it." Life is about all of the stuff that happens in between going to work, going to school, sleeping, paying bills, sitting at the red light ect.. None of that shit matters man, it's just something we have to do to get through the day. I believe in happiness and I believe it can be achieved, but you're not going to be happy every single day of your life. You know those people who come in to work in the morning and say, "good morning everyone" and they are so happy and bouncy early in the morning? I'm not like that and I hate those people. As a matter of fact, I hate most people.
What makes me happy is coming home from work and taking a shower. It's after taking a shower, I come and plop down on the couch. It's after I plop down on the couch, my wife is there sitting with me. It's after my wife sits with me, my cats come to my lap and I pet them and they purr. All of those things make me happy. Individually, they may not make me happy, sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Put them all together and I'm a happy guy. My wife drives me crazy, but I love her. Sometimes I don't want her around at all, but hey that's just the way it is. You gotta just find those little things and stop searching for an abstract idea that may not even exist.
I used to think that I'd never find happiness. Sometimes I still think that, but I was always looking for something that doesn't exist or that may never happen. I'm never going to be a millionaire, I'm never going to be a rock star. It took a long time to figure that out, but it doesn't stop me from spending my extra money on stuff that I want and it doesn't stop me from playing guitar and writing new songs that may never be heard by the public. I hate my job, but I love the guys I work with, so until something better comes along, I'm fine with that. I hate the town I live in, I've always wanted to move out west. I plan on moving to Colorado in a couple of years and that is my dream. I may get out there and hate it, but at least I finally followed that dream. I'm hoping I will get out there and love it, but it doesn't mean my problems will go away. In the end, it's about enjoying all of those little moments. Don't sit and think about insignificant our existence is, you'll just drive yourself nuts.
I know some of my advice may be a little harsh, but I just want you to know, I've been there and you may need some honesty.
It's the little things that kill, but it's also the little things that make it all worth while.
Good luck.
But nice job on the rest. 
