I think the disagreement lies elsewhere.
Yes it's about control.
IIRC, they feel it stronger than we do. That's why they feel they must control and suppress their emotions. The nuclear war that nearly destroyed Vulcan was the result of out of control emotions.
It's both.
No, emotion is feeling. A sign of something, like indication of emotion that registers in the face, is not the thing itself.
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Vulcans were a comment on the violence of the human race. We are cheated of the message being sent, if we remove the meaning of the idea of a Vulcan, and make it just a matter of their needing emotional control more than us. Vulcans certainly never say they have more violent emotions to suppress than human beings do. (Again, bad revisionist movies that miss the point of Trek and what it is don't count.) They believe humans are too violent and impulsive, and would do well to adopt the same solution they did... pushing down and distancing themselves from feeling/emotion as much as possible.