It can be done well. I was re-reading parts of David R. George III's Provenance of Shadows last night. That told a wonderful story that largely turned around Leonard McCoy's love life, but I wouldn't describe it as "soapy" by any stretch of the imagination. By the end of it, I felt like I'd seen McCoy in a whole new way, which is a pretty damned impressive accomplishment with a character who had existed for 40 years by that point.Both have been done to death, which is one reason I want dwelling on affairs and marital troubles to be left to soap operas and left out of Trek. Sure, we want to know more about the characters we love. We are also very often far better off not getting what we're so convinced we want.