What is it like getting older?

[Mr Awe]

Great, great responses to my question. I've read every single post, and while I'd love to answer all of them, there are so many! So I'm going to answer the posts where I was addressed directly.

J, so much of it is about attitude. Getting older makes most things harder, and some things impossible. But if you have the attitude that it's all hard work and dull moments ahead, you're not going to have energy and stamina. It's not just about hoping that your future will pick up, it's working to make that a reality.

A lot of people here have mentioned health. We see that there are limitations, but it's something that you can still work on. I'm going through a really difficult phase of life right now and I'm making it a priority to do cardio every day. It gives me a boost in ways that nothing else would, and that's just for an hour of mindless running.

I'm going to be 30 next year and part of me feels like I've wasted my life thus far and I want to wallow in my wasted youth. But the other part of me is like fuck it, I'm young, and I have a lot of good moments in front of me. I've just got to put in more effort to make them a reality.

You sound a lot like me! Like you, I have the moments where I'm despondent over the fact that life is just zipping by and so much of that seems wasted. I mean, my 20s might as well have never happened, and yet, on the flipside, I tell myself that it I am 32 not 92, and that I can still make a difference, and create a life worth living.

Also, I'm trying to exercise better. I've started aerobic exercises, along with stretches, and do them 20 minutes a day. It doesn't sound like much, but I'm so out of shape. I realized this fully the other day, when I did a short 30 second dance for a video, and by the time I was done, I was winded as hell. That bothered me. I love to dance. While I know some slow dances, I can't fast dance work a lick, so it always looks like I'm fighting off bees or something.

I guess the chronic pain I have makes things seem worse than they really are. That's why I start threads like these, to see if things can be better. It keeps the optimist in me alive and kicking.

Also, my best to you reaching your goals!

J., just wanted to pop in and say that it's great that you started exercising! Keep going even it's really difficult at the beginning. Once it becomes a habit, you'll actually miss the days that you don't exercise. Hard to believe when you're starting out but it's true.

Beyond the extra enjoy, excercise can also lift your spirits. It's not a cure all but it can make a pretty big difference.

Mr Awe

 

[marksound]

I'm 53. I know now that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was at half my age. You know what else I know now? No one else half my age is as smart as they think they are either.

 

[Deckerd]

Great, great responses to my question. I've read every single post, and while I'd love to answer all of them, there are so many! So I'm going to answer the posts where I was addressed directly.

Three o'clock, love. THREE O'CLOCK.

 

[Random_Spock]

I was going to tell you what it was like to get older but I can't remember.

With that out of the way, on with the serious answer: I'm in my 30s and I wish I knew in my 20s what I know now. That's one thing. The other thing is that people in their early/mid-20s now seem like kids to me and those who are pushing 40 are starting to seem like peers.

What's it like to age? You see goal posts before and after you that keep floating along with your perspective.

Definitely. I'm on another forum where that seems to be the case now, more than ever. Quite a few of the members just seem to be immature fools. Only stay on it now and then in order to keep in touch with a few people I made friends with, but other than that, it's not worth being on as much anymore. I've realized that I pretty much outgrown it.

So true. Noticed that when I was a kid, saw some high schoolers passing by me and they seemed to think that 20 something etc, was old. I didn't , same thing happened when I was in high school myself. Had a teacher who was only 14 yrs. my senior, and I didn't feel as if that was that much older. Sure more experience life wise, but overall I felt as if I'd get there one day myself.

Trying to work with what I do have though -- and appreciate each day that goes by . That's pretty much all that any of us can do in the end. Along with having a good sense of humor about life in general.

Amen to that, brother!


I wouldn't want to be in my teens or 20s again. 30+ was ok but rather busy. So far 40-ish was best. You're old enough to do naughty things and you're young enough to enjoy them

On a more serious note, when one is younger one tends to be frightened by problems. They tower up so high that one can't look over them and one is too inexperienced in life to simply walk around them or pick at their base till they topple over. The older you get, the more experienced you get in life and the easier it is for you to see patterns, apply previousely tried solutions or disassemble a huge problem into several small problems you can handle easily, one at a time.

I think this experience is what makes us older ones more relaxed. And the lack of experience and the constant fighthing of huge problems is what makes the younger ones feel burnt out.


So my advice is: hang on. Live, grow stronger, fight another day. After a while it'll get easier. Promise.
And never ever be afraid to reach out and make new friends.

Yep. Definitely true on that. You try and not let the stuff get to you as easily as well.

 

[ITL]

Getting older has involved me being the same idiot I've always been, clueless and static as the world spins on regardless. But with more grey hair and "Ooh, me back!" moments.

Still, musn't grumble. Could be worse!

 

[propita]

On a more serious note, when one is younger one tends to be frightened by problems. They tower up so high that one can't look over them and one is too inexperienced in life to simply walk around them or pick at their base till they topple over. The older you get, the more experienced you get in life and the easier it is for you to see patterns, apply previousely tried solutions or disassemble a huge problem into several small problems you can handle easily, one at a time.

I think this experience is what makes us older ones more relaxed. And the lack of experience and the constant fighthing of huge problems is what makes the younger ones feel burnt out.

That is so true.

Also eventually you go through some shit that makes the small stuff really irrelevant

So true! When I went back to school, I had to take a creative writing class. I picked poetry over short story writing because i figured poems were shorter than short stories. And I'm a bit lazy. Anyway, I'm 40 in a class of maaaaybe 20yo's. So many of their poems were full of angst and such. Many of mine were much lighter fare--just trying to get the assignment done. They asked why theirs were so "heavy." I said that they're in the middle of all this emotional stuff, trying to figure things out. I've passed a lot of that; either I've figured it out or I'm not worrying about a lot of it.

Of course, law school screwed that all up. But that's another story.

One nice thing--I'm 49, but no one believes it. They think I'm 35 or so. And Hubby is 53. When I've said we've been together 25 years, people look at me, then him, then me, then him and then get puzzled. I tell them that we're older than we look.

The physical part of getting older isn't so much fun sometimes. My hypothyroidism is a pain and keeps me overly-fatigued from exercise despite the meds--and won't let me lose weight. I don't gain either, but don't lose, even when sick and literally not eating for days. I'll be the only person who can die of starvation and still be overweight.

The emotional part--if you've put effort in to get your act together and not be a wreck--can be kinda relaxing compared to 20s. I suppose it's a trade-off.

 

[Captain Ice]

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, I'm just wondering, how is it way more rewarding? What are the rewarding parts? The only thing I can think of is being able to afford more things, but that feels empty. I feel like life is more difficult and has more responsibilities, but without any reward. I felt much more fulfilled, energetic, and happy before I had to work full time. I feel like I spend so much time and energy making a paycheck just to do it all again the next day. It is depressing to think this is what life is. And I don't even dislike my job, I enjoy the people and work, but it's still just that - work. It sucks up the time I'd like to use for personal growth and enjoyment.

That's the thing though. While you don't get to choose the timing like you do in college, getting older is all about personal growth. Life experience shows you that things that made you absolutely anxiety ridden in your teens and early twenties are really no big deal. You also grow stronger and more confident in who you are and what you feel your place in the world really is. Also, you learn as you grow older that you really don't care what society thinks of you. The only thing that is important there is whta you (and maybe your friends) think of you.

You sound a lot like me! Like you, I have the moments where I'm despondent over the fact that life is just zipping by and so much of that seems wasted. I mean, my 20s might as well have never happened, and yet, on the flipside, I tell myself that it I am 32 not 92, and that I can still make a difference, and create a life worth living.

Also, I'm trying to exercise better. I've started aerobic exercises, along with stretches, and do them 20 minutes a day. It doesn't sound like much, but I'm so out of shape. I realized this fully the other day, when I did a short 30 second dance for a video, and by the time I was done, I was winded as hell. That bothered me. I love to dance. While I know some slow dances, I can't fast dance work a lick, so it always looks like I'm fighting off bees or something.

I'm 41 this year, and I still get that way a few times a year. While it still happens, growing older has taught me that that kind of thinking is defeatist, and to be honest, depressing. That doesn't mean that it goes away, just that getting some lid=fe experience under your belt helps you to recognize that it doesn't do you any favors.

Also, what makes you think that getting older doesn't mean that you follow your heart? I let my heart decide things all the time. The only thing that being older has changed there is that I've learned to think through a lot of the things my heart wants to do as there are a few of them that are self destructive.

The worst thing about getting older, though, is that other people are getting older, too. And they're dying. The older you get, the more people you know die. That's the part I really hate about getting older.

Same here. What really sucks is when the people you've looked up to all through your life pass away, whether they be parents, teachers, grandparents, or aunts and uncles. Watching them age and die off sucks.

Even more disturbing is watching people your own age start to die off at a quicker rate.

On a whole though, getting older isn't a bad thing. I'm 41, and while I have a few more aches and pains and weigh more than I did 20 years ago, I wouldn't trade places with that version of me for anything. I'm a much different person than I was then because of my life experiences in the intervening time, as well as the fact that I've realized that a lot of the things that I worried about back then aren't important.

 

[marksound]

Could be worse!

Words to live by.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

That's the thing though. While you don't get to choose the timing like you do in college, getting older is all about personal growth. Life experience shows you that things that made you absolutely anxiety ridden in your teens and early twenties are really no big deal. You also grow stronger and more confident in who you are and what you feel your place in the world really is. Also, you learn as you grow older that you really don't care what society thinks of you. The only thing that is important there is whta you (and maybe your friends) think of you.

I for one feel rather reassured by this. I can only hope that's indeed how it turns out. At the very least, I'm (slowly, dimly) starting to understand the importance of your last point.

 

[RB_Kandy]

Age 35 (will be 36 in 6 weeks).
Well for me, my pre-teen years really sucked. I was raised in a ghetto where I got beat up and bullied a lot. By my mid teens I lived in a much better neighborhood and went to a much better school and made some pretty cool friends.

By my early 20's I was drinking alcohol really heavily. But at least I made the best friends of my life at that age.

between 25 to 27, I really started getting my act together, working out, lifting weights, eating better, stopped drinking and stopped smoking. At 28 I suffered a back injury that never completely healed. Had to stop working out. Became really depressed. Ended up losing my job and going through a few years of poverty. I also ended up with aching joints pretty bad for a few years. Turns out it was caused by the antibiotics I was taking.

By age 32, life seemed to pick up again. My back was doing much better, I found my one true love. I had been off the antibiotics for a year or so, and my joints returned to their normal health. Life was going pretty good.

Last February, I took an anti-biotic called Cipro. It messed me up really bad. It gave me an autoimmune disease like arthritis. I still can't walk through a grocery store, because I can't stand on my feet that long. My wrists often bother me like I got carpal tunnel syndrome. And just last month it moved into my tongue and I cannot speak, or eat solid food.
I recently found out my aunt had a very similar condition from taking an antibiotic called Doxycyclin. It took her 2 and half years to fully recover. The possibility that this might all pass, is the only thing that keeps me going. It would appear, there's just something about my family's genetics, that doesn't like antibiotics.

Again, age 32 to 35 was pretty sweet. And age 20 to 25, in spite of a lot of drinking and self doubt, I had the greatest experiences, crazy dangerous stuff you only do when your young and reckless.

My advice is, don't try to live up to other peoples standards; live up to your own. Own the moment, enjoy the moment. Don't worry so much.
And when you're in your late twenties and early 30's, do yourself a favor and be careful not to get stuck in a groove of the same thing day in and day out. Take some time off and do something crazy to keep things shaken up.
Some times you don't have to do anything crazy, the simplest things can keep you feeling fresh. Like, just call up some old friends or some relatives you haven't seen in a while, ask them if they want to go to a restaurant. Talk, catch up on old times.

Oh, and if you're in your early 20's, don't rush into marriage and babies. Live a little first LOL. Marriage and babies can wait.
And this one really goes out to any teenagers: don't be so desperate to find your one true love. So many young people think that if they have to go a single day without being in a committed relationship they'll just shrivel up and die.
Nonsense, enjoy yourself, enjoy the moment. Do things that will create memories to reflect on when your older.

Life, for me, hasn't really gotten better or worse with age, it's just changed. Life will always have ups and downs. When life is up, enjoy the high. When life is down, just remember that you'll have another up. Stay positive.

 

[Amaris]

J., just wanted to pop in and say that it's great that you started exercising! Keep going even it's really difficult at the beginning. Once it becomes a habit, you'll actually miss the days that you don't exercise. Hard to believe when you're starting out but it's true.

Beyond the extra enjoy, excercise can also lift your spirits. It's not a cure all but it can make a pretty big difference.

Thanks, Mr. Awe, and I'm hoping so, because Jesus Christ it's already leaving me sore.

Three o'clock, love. THREE O'CLOCK.

Buh?

I'm 41 this year, and I still get that way a few times a year. While it still happens, growing older has taught me that that kind of thinking is defeatist, and to be honest, depressing. That doesn't mean that it goes away, just that getting some lid=fe experience under your belt helps you to recognize that it doesn't do you any favors.

Also, what makes you think that getting older doesn't mean that you follow your heart? I let my heart decide things all the time. The only thing that being older has changed there is that I've learned to think through a lot of the things my heart wants to do as there are a few of them that are self destructive.

I see what you're saying, and I agree. Still, I'm not saying you can't follow your heart as you get older, just that your body may not want to come along for the ride.

 

[Leviathan]

... considering the alternative? Not bad.

 

[KimMH]

Wow, reading tese posts, I am reminded that you never know what other people are carrying around in their lives. People really are resilient.

 

[RyanKCR]

I can't really say since I have an extensive medical history. I don't know what 41 really feels like. I'm affected by my meds and the poor function of my heart. Before my stroke in 2000 I didn't really have much to complain about but I could not keep up with others in the same age range. But I do have more aches and pains now and get tired a lot. Some of that is my meds.

 

[Random_Spock]

Age 35 (will be 36 in 6 weeks).
Well for me, my pre-teen years really sucked. I was raised in a ghetto where I got beat up and bullied a lot. By my mid teens I lived in a much better neighborhood and went to a much better school and made some pretty cool friends.

By my early 20's I was drinking alcohol really heavily. But at least I made the best friends of my life at that age.

between 25 to 27, I really started getting my act together, working out, lifting weights, eating better, stopped drinking and stopped smoking. At 28 I suffered a back injury that never completely healed. Had to stop working out. Became really depressed. Ended up losing my job and going through a few years of poverty. I also ended up with aching joints pretty bad for a few years. Turns out it was caused by the antibiotics I was taking.

By age 32, life seemed to pick up again. My back was doing much better, I found my one true love. I had been off the antibiotics for a year or so, and my joints returned to their normal health. Life was going pretty good.

Last February, I took an anti-biotic called Cipro. It messed me up really bad. It gave me an autoimmune disease like arthritis. I still can't walk through a grocery store, because I can't stand on my feet that long. My wrists often bother me like I got carpal tunnel syndrome. And just last month it moved into my tongue and I cannot speak, or eat solid food.
I recently found out my aunt had a very similar condition from taking an antibiotic called Doxycyclin. It took her 2 and half years to fully recover. The possibility that this might all pass, is the only thing that keeps me going. It would appear, there's just something about my family's genetics, that doesn't like antibiotics.

Again, age 32 to 35 was pretty sweet. And age 20 to 25, in spite of a lot of drinking and self doubt, I had the greatest experiences, crazy dangerous stuff you only do when your young and reckless.

My advice is, don't try to live up to other peoples standards; live up to your own. Own the moment, enjoy the moment. Don't worry so much.
And when you're in your late twenties and early 30's, do yourself a favor and be careful not to get stuck in a groove of the same thing day in and day out. Take some time off and do something crazy to keep things shaken up.
Some times you don't have to do anything crazy, the simplest things can keep you feeling fresh. Like, just call up some old friends or some relatives you haven't seen in a while, ask them if they want to go to a restaurant. Talk, catch up on old times.

Oh, and if you're in your early 20's, don't rush into marriage and babies. Live a little first LOL. Marriage and babies can wait.
And this one really goes out to any teenagers: don't be so desperate to find your one true love. So many young people think that if they have to go a single day without being in a committed relationship they'll just shrivel up and die.
Nonsense, enjoy yourself, enjoy the moment. Do things that will create memories to reflect on when your older.

Life, for me, hasn't really gotten better or worse with age, it's just changed. Life will always have ups and downs. When life is up, enjoy the high. When life is down, just remember that you'll have another up. Stay positive.

Good points. I'll have to try to shake up my life some more. Been in somewhat of a rut as of late... been busy and have forgotten to slow down and have a little more fun . As for worrying, I'm a work in process there . I'm a natural born worrywart... working on not worrying quite as much, but it's a challenge.

 

[Amaris]

... considering the alternative? Not bad.

Point well made.

Wow, reading tese posts, I am reminded that you never know what other people are carrying around in their lives. People really are resilient.

Indeed they are. One of the reasons I started this whole thread was because I wanted to see how other people feel, and how they deal with growing older. It's also nice to hear someone younger discuss how they feel.

I can't really say since I have an extensive medical history. I don't know what 41 really feels like. I'm affected by my meds and the poor function of my heart. Before my stroke in 2000 I didn't really have much to complain about but I could not keep up with others in the same age range. But I do have more aches and pains now and get tired a lot. Some of that is my meds.

I sympathize. Certain medications can make you feel sluggish and run down all of the time. I can get a full night's sleep (which is rare), and still feel like I've just ran a marathon.

 

[RAMA]

Kind of mixed bag...I was fitter in my late teens and 30s than in my 20s, and at 42 I'm still fitter than I was when I was younger for the most part. However, I don't react the same way to physical exertion. It takes longer to recover. There I times when I think to my late 20s and early 30s and I wonder how I stayed up so late. I actually sleep less overall, averging about 5 hours a day,. When I was 12 I used to need about 10 hours or I was cooked by the next afternoon. Luckily many people still guess Im in my late 20s or early 30s.

Mentally, I probably have a more realistic outlook on life, but I pretty much have a similar mentality as when I was in my 20s. I constantly make people laugh. I don't really want to be a boring, set in his ways 40+ year I old, and I doubt I will ever be. Im always open to new ideas, trying new things and adapting. Treading water is not for me.

RAMA

 

[Grey]

Oh, and if you're in your early 20's, don't rush into marriage and babies. Live a little first LOL. Marriage and babies can wait.
And this one really goes out to any teenagers: don't be so desperate to find your one true love. So many young people think that if they have to go a single day without being in a committed relationship they'll just shrivel up and die.
Nonsense, enjoy yourself, enjoy the moment. Do things that will create memories to reflect on when your older.

Could not agree more!

But sometimes I guess it takes living it to learn it. *sheepish grin*

 

[Captain Ice]

But sometimes I guess it takes living it to learn it. *sheepish grin*

Amen! Preach it brother. There are days that I wonder how I survived some of the things I did.

 

[Deckerd]

Buh?

For true old git authenticity it should be whut?