Ugh, where do I begin?
Let me start with what I liked: It looks pretty.
Uhm.
Yeah, it looks pretty.
Stuff that didn't work for me.
The story, pretty much from beginning to end.
I couldn't fathom why the characters were so invested in the Comedian's death when he was a rapist asshole and completely unsympathetic.
I couldn't figure out why the Comedian would cry about Ozymandias's plan, and why he would need to be killed over it.
None of that added up.
I couldn't understand why this world seems so miserable if the Vietnam War has been won? Or why Superheroes would have been banned if they just won that same war for everyone. There's just no logic there.
Learning about the characters as the story unfolded was okay, I wasn't completely sold on it, but it made it hard to really support any of them, when they spent so much of the film wandering around feeling miserable for themselves. By an hour in I really didn't care about any of them one way or the other.
The visual homages to things like Dr. Strangelove were fine but they didn't really go anywhere, or tie up with the characters. They could have cut many of those scenes and the film wouldn't have been hurt.
The overall message is very 1980s. An outside threat, nuclear war, unites Earth. 9-11 proved that's not true just between Democrats and Republicans.
The problem is, the cold war was so long ago, most people don't remember the fear of war that existed.
Overall it was very disjointed, and not in a clever way that made me go "Ohhhh," at the end, but rather "Eh."
I don't know. Maybe fans of the comic see something I don't. But as a pure spectator with no dog in the fight, it was not a good film.
Chick in the latex was hot though.