Spock is a romantic character too. He's like a priest or any other "forbidden fruit" that crops up in fiction. His cool, unemotional remoteness is key to the character. But,Spock is at his "best" when something breaks through his defenses or he's caught off guard and all that "cerebralness" falls away. And thats where Spock is in this movie.
The problem is that they didn't give us any of the 'normal' Spock. In this movie, 'breaking through' his defenses didn't occur - he had no defenses. In this movie, we saw Spock engage in two fistfights - out of rage - smootch it up in a romantic relationship with a subordinate, get pissed about a cadet cheating on his test, jettison a crewmember to a remote, forbidden ice planet, and egg on the destruction of an ailing ship. It's true that some of TOS Spock's best moments were when we saw his human half slip through, but the drama doesn't work
when that's all you see. We never got a glimpse of the calm, cool, collected, composed Vulcan - we were supposed to believe he held the aforementioned qualities only by way of his speaking in a modulated voice, and the word of other characters telling us 'Vulcans suppress their emotions'. Take away those indicators, and you just have another human character.
'I will not allow you to lecture me.'
Exactly. Spock can occasionally slip from his emotional repression but he has to repress emotions most of the time so he has some norm from which he can differ. Smootchig with his girlfriend in front of everyone, then saying in a emotionless voice that her first name is "not up for discussion" is incredibly stupid dialogue that does little to convince the audience that he represses emotions.
I disagree that Spock is a romantic character, rather he is a psychological character. Romances are used to demonstrate how conflicted and suppressed he really is. His appeal was in his resistance to emotion, his inner conflict, his self deception and struggle.
He was also the outsider who appealed to those who did not have great love lives, those who were computer geeks or science nerds, those who faced rejection and loneliness. There was a great appeal to this character's differentness that never appeared in the movie. Even young Spock beats the crap out of his tormentors whereas TOS young Spock repressed with a stiff upper lip. I'll quote Henry James again:
The mystique that surrounded Spock from the start had to do with things he was feeling but could not express: he is a deeply divided character, one who broods about where he belongs and how he relates to the other Enterprise crewmembers. But this film makes it look ridiculously easy for him to get a girl friend and he is surprisingly comfortable necking with his pretty in the transporter room, an act that it is impossible to imagine Spock prime doing. The original Spock was a deeply private person. It isn't that the new film has made Spock Sexy. The old Spock was a whole lot sexier than the new Spock for all of his hidden depths and emotional uncertainties: the new Spock is just too easy all around and there's no real mystery there. He isn't sexy; he's having sex and that's not the same thing at all.
http://henryjenkins.org/2009/05/five_ways_to_start_a_conversat.html
My other complaint is that this romance existed for no reason other than simply to have romance in the film.
Even in the poorly written episodes, TOS romances served a purpose. They advanced the plot, placed impediments in the way of their mission, displayed the premise of the episode, or revealed aspects of the character's personality. On the rare occasion that a character really did love, there was a believable reason he/she did so. Kirk/Keeler are star crossed, idealistic, self sacrificing, highly committed soul mates. Spock/Zarabeth both incredibly alone. There was a cerebralness to the relationship that produced food for thought.
This was simple, mindless romance which served no purpose. If it were eliminated from the film, it would not have made any difference in the story. Most TOS romances were Kirk using women to complete the mission or getting used by them. Or they existed to make their mission tougher for them to complete. This one was so simple, mindless and forced that it felt cheap. As bad as the Twilight romance - he loves her for no reason other than the smell of her blood. They have nothing in common, didn't have to earn love or work for it... no brain food for thought or analysis.
To destroy the dramatic, iconic character of Spock for such a simple, meaningless, teeny bopper mindless drivel is a crime.