Voyager Caption This: Smile!

[Evil Twin]

Last round's winners:

So what's your thing, crewman? Brilliant slacker? Disguised Cardie spy? Seven year mating cycle? Gotta have a thing to fit in around here.
Serial killer, ma'am.
Welcome to Starfleet.

Janeway: Alright, here is the battle plan, I'll run out and hide behind the wall while you two stand boldly in the middle of the corridor and fire your phasers randomly and not hit anything. Then they will focus their fire on you two and I will be able to kill them while they are distracted.
Guy: What if we get shot and die though?
Janeway: That's a risk I am willing to take.

And your prize:

Janitorial duty for a week. Congratulations!

Up next:

 

[Kirby]

Neelix: Why yes, I am a multi tasker; I was able to make dinners for the week and dispose of the dead crewmen from when the Caretaker brought Voyager here to the Delta Quadrant. It's right here in the database. Soylent Green!

 

[AlxxlA]

Tom: Hey Doc, why is the captain still sedated? And why are you smiling?

Captain Janeway briefly entertains the notion of being in the middle.

While reading The Anarchist Cookbook, Neelix realizes why Lt. Torres enjoys her banana pancakes so much.

 

[Santa Kang]

PARIS: whoa!!!! I told you no OB/GYN stuff!!!!

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Neelix: "Ah, yes, here it is in the footnotes: 'may cause irritation and swelling in human testicles. Serve with caution!' Gee, sorry about that Mr. Paris!"

 

[RobertScorpio]

nelix: Ah shit..the seventh season already? Let me see if they're thinking of doing a BENSON reunion TV movie!!!

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win Evil Twin! But I'm a doctor, not a janitor!

Tom: Captain, I know you encouraged the Doc to be more human, but he's been abusing that fart subroutine all day!

Janeway: That was me, Lieutenant.

Well your right, Tom, B'Elanna does look good naked, but I'm still not able to make a pizza because I just don't have enough cheese.

Janeway: So.... Ribs.

 

[Gertch]

Paris: "Whoa! Speak again Hotlips. I can already get a whiff over here."

Kate (surprised): "Mr Bronson! So nice to meet you."

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Janeway: I said why havn't you got any teeth, ya know, these things, is your species deaf as well as toothless?

Chakotay: The captain asked you a question, what's the matter, cant your species talk neither.

Janeway: Probably Dickless aswell by the looks of it.

Tuvok: Captain, need I remind you that you are speaking to King Dranikus the 8th of the Dajani Imperial Empire, one of the largest most powerful empires in the Delta Quadrant.

Janeway: Dont you look down at me Dranikus, i'll have you sent to the brig.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Paris: "You've transplanted my balls where?!?"
EMH: "Quite frankly, the Captain will use them more than you."

Janeway & Chakotay "Throw out your hands. Stick out your tush. Hands on your hips, give 'em a push. You'll be surprised; you're doing the French mistake. Voila!"

Paris: "Neelix, if you don't stop playing Tetris and serve dinner soon, I'm going to stick a Leola root up your..."

 

[terranova]

The judge of the 34th annual Starfleet Hands-on-hips contest was not impressed with the entry from USS Voyager.

 

[Triskelion]

Tom: Stop laughing at my huge ass!

 

[Candlelight]

"Weren't you on China Beach?"

"Brushed 'em real good, see?"

"Er, Neelix-"
"Casaba stew, followed by some ice cream. Does that answer you question, Mr Paris?"
"Actually I was gonna say your PADD's on fire"

 

[Santa Kang]

MULGREW: I was wondering what they did with all of Nichelle Nichols old wigs.

 

[Shatmandu]

Due to Paris's whining, Janeway and the Doctor began making it a point to leave skidmarks on the medtable as they had sex.

Neelix: "I've got some Veldeberan beanwaffels that you'll just love, and I'll top it off with some Pentaxian juiceberries!"
Director: "Cut, print."
Ethan Phillips: "Kill me, please."

 

[propita]

Not a caption, but DA-YUM, Paris! Baby got some serious back!

Janeway: "It's just a jump to the left."
Chakotay: "And then a step to the ri-i-i-ight."
Janeway: "Put your hands on your hips."
Chakotay: "Pull your knees in ti-i-ight."

Alien: "I don't want to know where this is going, they're enjoying it far too much."

 

[John Picard]

Neelix: "Oh, and I almost forgot to add in the 15% gratuity because your party consisted of more than five people."

Paris: <grumbling> "You little pecker-nosed bastard."

 

[Capt_Piett]

Doctor: <thinking to himself> "I wonder when that laxative I slipped into Mr Paris's hypospray as payback for his last prank in sickbay will kick in..."

Paris: "What the f...."

 

[Jptrekker]

Slow roasted Vulcan Science Officer--I found the recipe in both the Andorian and Ewok databases.

 

[LeadHead]

Neelix: Oh Dear.
Torres: What is it?
Neelix: The Script for "Workforce."