Voyager Caption This: Diagnosis!

[Finn]

Doc: "I didn't realize Talaxians can regenerate new hearts after eating their own hearts. Humans don't!"

Neelix: *wry chuckle* "You learn something new everyday"

Botha: *looks around* "Please tell me that Ocampa bitch isn't around"

Seven: *raises her right eyebrow*

Doc: "No. Kes left the ship some years ago. However, Seven has some tricks under her implants"

 

[Kevin]

Doctor: *Sigh...*
Neelix: What is it? Was it something he ate?
Doctor: What? Oh... him... He's dead. I'm just unhappy because I lost this game of Pacman I'm playing...

Doctor: hhhmmm...
Janeway: What is it Doctor:
Doctor: Hmmm? oh right... Sorry, Pacman is just so addicting!

 

[Scatta]

The Doctor [singing with feeling] His hip bone's connected to his thigh bone. His thigh bone's connected to...

Janeway Disable vocal algarythms.

[to The Doctor] Why don't you just submit a written report?

 

[Deckard]

Doctor: "Well Sam, according to Ziggy, you can't leap until you prevent this crewman here from dy.....oh that's a shame"
Neelix: "Oh boy!"

Doctor: "...and for my next trick, ladies and gentlemen, watch closely as I pull a nonsensical technobabble solution for this week's dilemma right out of this random alien guy's ass! Behold!

 

[Dale]

Deckard said:

Doctor: "...and for my next trick, ladies and gentlemen, watch closely as I pull a nonsensical technobabble solution for this week's dilemma right out of this random alien guy's ass! Behold!

gwAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Rat Boy]

The Doctor: "This man isn't dead, just blind."

Neelix: "Blind from what?"

The Doctor: "Judging by what he was viewing on his notebook computer, you might want to get someone to clean up under that table."

 

[Candlelight]

"Well, according to the database I'm supposed to extend my arm like this and shout 'THE POWER OF JESUS SAVES YOU!" Hmmm, still nothing. Well that clinches it - I've officially tried everything".

 

[Gadrin]

 

[DBR]

Doctor: "Okay, people: this scene from Vulcan Love Slave calls for Seven to be bent over the railing here. You, sir, get down on your hands and knees; and you, Janeway, sit on top of him. B'Elanna, if you wouldn't mind getting into your latex costume, I'll need you in a a few minutes.....Lets move, people!"

 

[Scatta]

^I think we'll leave directing ship's plays to TNG's CMO.

 

[Capt_Piett]

The Doctor had the sad duty to inform the alien visitor that the pink ribbon he was wearing was not in fact a breast cancer awareness ribbon, that they were not typically worn on one's sleeve and that he would not be allowed to conduct a breast exam on Seven of Nine.