Voyager Caption This: Diagnosis!

[Evil Twin]

Last round's winners:

EVERYONE! Too many good ones for me to choose. Good job, folks! As such, I've got a special prize for all of you:

A free physical in sickbay! There's no
time like the present! Please form an
orderly line. Chop chop, people, the
biobeds are waiting!

Up next:

 

[Dale]

He didn't HAVE to eat it, Mr. Neelix... just the SMELL of leeola root was enough to kill him.

It appears Commander Chakotay has been dining too often in Mr. Neelix's mess hall, captain.

 

[cultcross]

His worldview was crushed forever by repeated flaming in TNZ - let's get him to sickbay, stat!

During the superbowl it was impossible to tear the Doctor away from his handheld TV.

 

[cultcross]

After watching too much House, the Doctor insisted on having Neelix trail round after him to make diagnosis suggestions.

 

[Gertch]

"I told you to take the liver, not the spleen."

 

[Candlelight]

"Died before you gave it to him. Hmmm, that's a first".

Despite medical scans, the Doctor couldn't tell who in engineering was the alien.

 

[Gertch]

Year of Hell said:

"Died before you gave it to him. Hmmm, that's a first".

That's simply awesome!

 

[Rat Boy]

Neelix: "I don't understand. I mean all he was doing was watching the latest presidential debates."

The Doctor: "One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong."

 

[Candlelight]

"Hmmm, what an interesting scan. This reminds me of the time I was caught up in engineering"

"Hmmm, what an interesting scan. This reminds me of the time I was caught up in the mess hall"

"Hmmm, what an interesting scan. This reminds me of the time I was caught up in engineering"

"Hmmm, what an interesting scan. This reminds me of the time I was caught up in the mess hall"

"Hmmm, what an interesting scan. This reminds me of the time I was caught up in engineering"

"Hmmm, what an interesting scan. This reminds me of the time I was caught up in the mess hall"

 

[Dale]

The doctor needs to send himself a message to break out of this temporal causality loop!

 

[Tim]

Pot brownies again, Mr. Neelix?

Confirmed, Captain. This alien is Neelix's dealer.

 

[Nebusj]

``All right, Neelix, I'm going to take him to sickbay and when he ... wakes up ... I know this nice family that lives out in the countryside who's going to adopt him and give him a nice home with huge fields he can run around in, so you don't need to think about him ever again.''

``Well, Doctor? Are you ready to reveal who ... `dealt it'?''

 

[BorgBabe]

*Neelix and Doc in Chakotay's room*
Doc: What happend Mr. Neelix?
Neelix: After reading the invitation to Seven's wedding, he cried: "Bring me a warmer heart" and then he collapsed.
Doc: I see... Mr. Neelix "warm heart" in human culture, unlike your own, is NOT a comfort food.

*All gathered near the warpcore*
Janeway: Doctor what kind of alien is it?
Doc: I think you have mistaken the stripper for Sevens hennight for an uknown race. My medical-tricorder detects underneath all that makeup and costume no other than Mr. Chakotay.

 

[Candlelight]

At least the trainee crew had it right; this was the third time in as many weeks that everyone had mistaken the Doctor for the Warp Core.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

"I would suggest putting less tranquilizers in the pot roast next time, Mr. Neelix."

"The scans and security guards are a routine precaution. It's Starfleet policy not to trust anyone wearing a 'hoodie'."

 

[Gertch]

Random sampling of species was required by Federation law even though everyone knew who had something to hide.

 

[Gadrin]

 

[terranova]

Doctor: Thats what happens when you sit throught a Simpsons marathon, you fall asleep.

The Doctor's driver had arrived in Enginnering.

 

[Rat Boy]

The Doctor: "Stand back. I have degrees in Murderology and Murderonomy."

The Doctor: "Captain, I believe that this gentleman here, being the first to have smelled it, did in fact deal it."

 

[Nerys Myk]

EMH: I've completed my scans Neelix. My conclusion is the this seat is indeed taken.

Activity in engineering came to a complete halt as the EMH insisted on answering his cell phone.