Voyager Caption This: Brainstorming Session

[Evil Twin]

Last round's winners:

Janeway: The macarena? Four 10 hours? THAT was the upgrade?

Paris: The gay parts were Harry's idea.

Janeway: "Seems like he's going to a lot of trouble just to transport gerbils directly into his colon, but who am I to judge what Chakotay does in his off hours?"

And your prize:

An all you can eat coupon for Beowulf's Buffet and Bistro!

Up next:

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

While everyone else was understandably concerned about Janeway's sanity, after she greeted them wearing a crotchless uniform, demanded that she be addressed as Queen, be served hand and foot by her officers stripped naked, oiled up and singing gaily, reserved the right to flog any one who offended her with a giant dildo, and insisted that Voyager be 'pimped up', Harry was just disappointed that he had failed to be promoted to Eunuch.

 

[Triskelion]

Coffee B'Elanna?
No thanks.
Coffee Tom?
I'm already at about Warp 8, thanks anyway.
Coffee Neelix?
Uh, You go ahead, Captain.
Coffee Doctor?
I'm a doctor, not a gourmand.
Coffee Chakotay?
(Does she not see my thermos, or me for that matter)??
Coffee Harry.
No thanks, Captain.
Tuvok? Coffee?
I am currently drinking tea, Captain.
Seven? Coffee?
This is futile.
Mr. Johnson? Coffee?
I consume only silicon-based crystals, Captain.
Mind if I have some coffee before we begin everyone?
Group: NO!
Well that's a fine mood. You know what will cheer you lot right up?
Everyone leaves.
To potted plant: Chakotay, have you always had that tattoo?

 

[Rat Boy]

Janeway: "Well, we're all here, but who are you?"

Skruffy: "Skruffy, I'm the janitor."

 

[nil_jones]

Awesome, thanks for the coupon! Although, the experience wasn't what I expected:

Unferth: And to the brave healer, another stein of mead for the grandiose feat of the 10 hour spirit dance!

As Voyager's Kahlua provisions were depleted, staff meetings began to lose their appeal.

 

[SciFi75]

Janeway: After figuring out that our warp core was sabotaged, I have figured out someone among our crew sitting at this table is not exactly who they may be.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Now on to the matter of the TPS reports...

 

[Candlelight]

"And now onto item #673 on the- NEELIX! Wake you or I'll staple your nuts again"

 

[Candlelight]

"Someone's been pissing around with webcams all over the ship. Who knows where the next one will turn up."

 

[Velocity]

Mr. Scrunchface here was commissioned to build us a new meeting table and he obviously couldn't read the schematics, because it is too short and narrow. Unnecessary people are hereby excused to give the rest of us more room. Good-bye Harry, take Neelix with you as you leave.

 

[backstept]

Janeway: Anyone know how to set this thing up to run my PowerPoint presentation?
Harry: (what a noob!)

 

[Candlelight]

Chakotay missed the memo that had postponed funny hat day to next Friday.

 

[John Picard]

Janeway: "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"

 

[Gertch]

 

[Triskelion]

Alright, which one of you is loading up my hard drive with pterodactyl porn?

 

[Rat Boy]

Janeway: "Nobody's leaving until we come up with a theme for our New Year's parade float."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Janeway: Good news, everybody! You get to deliver this chitinous looking follow back to his people-- the man-eating inhabitants of Veltron IX. I hear that they like the taste of young, virgin flesh. Kim, you'll lead the away team.
Kim: Ah, damn.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Janeway: Crap! IMDCOOK out bid me again!!!!! I'd love to get my hands on that SOB!

Neelix: heh heh heh

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Janeway:Okay, I called you all here today because one of you has to know how to properly run Windows Vista.

 

[Kirby]

[

Janeway: I'm very excited to share with you all the benefits of Amway...