Voyager Caption This: Back in a Flash

[Triskelion]

The horn button is worn down. But the turn signal buttons look brand new.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Janeway: Well?

Tuvok: He WAS willing to help us until he found out that you had a vagina. Then, he got huffy and hasn't spoken since.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Janeway: Well?

Tuvok: He WAS willing to help us until he found out that you had a vagina. Then, he got huffy and hasn't spoken since.

Janeway (laughs): Funny story about that Tuvok...

 

[Rat Boy]

Janeway: "He's been listening to the Village People for three hours."

Tuvok: "You either become used to it or go horribly mad."

The reason the set for Of Gods and Men was so relaxed was because the director gave all of his stars neck rubs.

 

[John Picard]

...For Navigation Support, Press 3; For Issues Concerning Your Mark 3 Alpha Deflector Shield, Press 4; For All Other Issues...

*BEEP*

Janeway: "How long did he stay on hold, again?"

Tuvok: "Four days. He said it was a matter of principle."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Hand-cranking the Rand-bot was tedious, but less trouble than working with the actual actress.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Sulu: Sulu to security, intruder alert, send guards to the bridge immediately.
Tuvok: Hmmm, I guess my logic failed me, I believe bringing you to the bridge was indeed a mistake.
Janeway: You owe me 2 strips of latinum.

Janeway: Quickly Tuvok, give her the Vulcan Neck pinch.
Tuvok: I'm trying to captain but it would apear she has no pulse, I believe this woman is dead.
Janeway: By the look of her i'd say you're right.

 

[Nerys Myk]

From my series at the ENT CAPCON

RAND: "They've been here four hours and have only ordered water and a salad! Give them their check and get them the hell out! We need the table!!"

 

[Fulzo]

Janeway:"The Excelsior? I thought you served on the Enterprise B?"
Tuvok: "No, that was my human cousin, Grover."
Janeway: "Was this the same Grover who tried to steal trilithium from the Enterprise D?"
Tuvok: "His delinquent grandson Skeeter."
Janeway: "You have any Klingon relatives who've been to DS9?"
Tuvok: "Can we focus here Captain?"

Made me lol so hard

 

[Rat Boy]

Tuvok: "I am sorry, Captain. Hearing that song after all these years; it's almost like a reflex."